To believe that going on holiday is a privilege and not a right?

hideous

you must be blind

No. I just can't agree.

If she is desperate for a holiday why can't she get a part time job and save up for one? She can't afford it.

We all go without things we can't afford at times. That's life innit?! It's shit sometimes!

Less of the hideous plasma tv OO, mine is very aesthetically pleasing!

Speedy - that is really odd!

you do all know you can get some v v v cheap haven deals online. our best deal was £54 for 4 of us. then 2 years ago for 7 of us was £88.

gess, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, knowing your circumstances

and if I was going to give someone money to help them out, they could spend it how they wished and get a hideous plasma screen if they so wished

yes but if they are fed up and need a break, then a holiday may be just what they need

imo

What if everyone in the family clubbed together financially and gave them an 'early' Christmas present of a holiday? Might include all birthday gifts too....

Bloody hell you lot are generous. I wouldn't pay for my cousin, WHO DOESN'T WORK, to go on holiday.

I work my bloody arse off and I have 3 kids under 6. She can't work, MY ARSE!

Well I don't feel that I'm unreasonable in feeling put out that we never have a holiday (by thr time we go to Ireland next year it will have been 3 years since the last family holiday- that was a week camping). I know its life, and its circumstances and it's tough and I can't do anything about it, but I still don't think I'm want want want, or unreasonable by being pissed off about that.

i want a holiday, i can afford one but cant bloody go. tell she can holiday here for me, lovely area etc, LVAD chucked in for free and I'll go on holiday.

Speedy - I am with you, if you can;t afford it you can;t have it. whats the point at splurging o a holiday to get away from it all if it means you have even more money worries to come back to??

When I was little my mum (widow) went out to work just to pay bills, she had no one to fall back on. Any holidays we had were spent at relatives houses, which for me as a child were just as much fun. And mum had some adult company unlike at home. And even then she still had to scrimp together the rail or coach fare.

By the same token the best we afford this year is 5 days at Butlins. However we will be padding our our holiday to an 8-day break by spending time with my cousins on the weekends before and after.

SIL sounds like an old neigbour we used to have who would come and ask my mum to lend her £5 (bearing in mind what I have said above) to feed her family (her, DH and 3 DC's) She then went straight our for fish and chips. Mum never said to her, but always to me how much further the money would go if she bought a sack of spuds a few cans of beans and some eggs or bread.
She also never said to the woman her own money would last longer if she did'nt smoke and spend all night at the pub!

I agree with OO (unless you are really hard up yourself). My Mum and Dad have said that next easter they will take time off to help us across to ireland so we can see the in-laws. It's next year, but it's really helped me with this year to know that in a years time we will get away, even if it's only to visit family.

Completely unreasonable to spend on optional stuff, when money is such an issue.

Does anyone in your family have access to a caravan/holiday cottage etc that could be loaned to them? That way, they could have a change of scenery without incurring expense...if not, I'd think a holiday would be out of the question given their current situation.

I'd hate not to be able to afford a holiday. I think she is being really quite sensible looking at a budget option.

I tend to think one holiday per year (even if only camping) is pretty much nigh on a necessity. It's good for family 'bonding' and it helps everyone to feel that they have got away from it all.

It's not the same as squandering scarce cash on a plasma tv or other consumer good imo

Speedymama, I agree completely that her attitude seems strange, especially in the context of receiving money from family members to help pay bills etc.

And, if you are helping her then of course you are at liberty to say you think a holiday is a bad idea until one or the other (or both) of them gets a job. I just think that people often say things that are meant to be a plea for sympathy more than anything else.

Was she used to a different lifestyle before the redundancy? Sometimes it is really difficult for people to make a shift in terms of their expectations when something like that happens, - if she is used to holidays abroad, perhaps for her a caravan holiday is, already, a big compromise - I am not saying that this is right, simply that often in these circumstances people need more understanding and less judgement in order to change their attitude.

well having read the thread again

I think you should pay for them to go on holiday

if you were going to give them some money anyway, then who are you to say how they spend it?

4 kids, what sort of job will she be able to get, would be a complete juggle

he is knackered and worried, ditto her, a holiday may be just what they need

some people do seem to think that a yearly holiday is a right even if they cant really afford it. when our kids were very young we had hols at home where we would take at week or 2 off and spend it at home going to the park, making models, perhaps a visit to the zoo or something. the kids loved having everyone at home and having the time to spend all doing stuff together. we have even had indoor picnics when the weather was too bad to have them at the park. but if being at home is stressful (for what ever reason) then getting away can sometimes be the only thing you can think about . perhaps that is the case here.

Because lets face it days out to parks are shit compared to a proper holiday (and I don't want anything flash, camping 10 miles down the road would be enough for me). It's the not being able to that gets to me, rather than what I would actually do if I could.

Having a holiday is not the issue here.
Its more to do with your view of money / living within your means etc. My BIL 9 aged about 50 or so) never buys anything , if he doesn't have the money for it. If you want a washing machine, you save first.

What an admirable way to live. In this day and age, not many people do. It's all, I want, I want, I want it now, even though I can't afford it.

I wouldnt give her anything TBH. it will only annoy you when she spends it on a hoidya and still has bills piling up behind her.
Some people are just like that, want want want. Let them get on with it.