To believe that going on holiday is a privilege and not a right?

I think she is confusing the facts that;
1 everyone WANTS a break
2 everyone who works is entitled (legally not morally) to x amount of paid leave
3 A holiday has to be 'abroad' or away

yep if you want fancy holidays or even to pay for any holiday then you get a job to pay for it. We've just had our first 'couple' break away this year, DS GP's came down to our house and babysat DS while we borrowed their house (in a not very pretty village but closer to countryside),
only costs - petrol for car.

why? cos we wanted a break just the two of us after a bad patch and couldn't afford to pay for a hotel etc. we certianly didn't confuse wanting with deserving!

I can't see how a holiday could ever be a right. Re: giving money, always tricky unless you can do it without minding how they spend it.

If you don't have enough money for it to be pretty meaningless to you, then don't lend it for any purposes. If you feel like you've worked hard for it then it has the potential to come between your relationship.

I used to think going on holiday was a privilege until I found myself in the position of not being able to go. Now I find myself staring at cruise brochures and wondering round campervans calculating that in 15-20 years time we might be able to go (depending on what we've got sorted for ds1). I miss holidays more than I could ever have predicted.

colditz, I know for a fact that the person in question buys a huge percentage of the toys - but agree that one can't assume.

I don't think anything is a right except a roof over your head and food. That said, I would hate to go without a holiday and I have paid for a holiday on a credit card many times.

I think this is the problem with lending people money. Don't do it.

it's not accurate to judge someone's wealth by how many toys their child has. Mine have more toys than he can poke with a stick, they are nearly all from the ex-inlaws, and my mum and dad. Even when I have said "Well, actually, he needs shoes" I told told that that's not much of a birthday prest - which I suppose it isn't, but neither is another box of toys you never ever play with.

I am getting a holiday this year, I am very very lucky my dad is paying for it - it's a week in Caister at Haven. I am very very grateful for it too! Won't have one next year if I haven't found a job though - might go to Skeg for the day.

But if you give him money you won't know for sure what it has been spent on? Even if it is used to pay bills, maybe they will then use whatever money they had put aside for bills for something frivolous.... I totally agree they should not go on holiday if they can't afford it, especially if they are borrowing money from other people for the basics. Maybe you need to say to your cousin that you are happy to give him money for bills but if you find out they are deliberately getting themselves into debt unneccessarily you will never help him out again.

Tbh I would be wary of giving them anything unless it was an actual bill you could pay directly.....

Your worreid aboutt hem losing thier home and she couldnt give a monkeys and is going to spend it on a holiday? Dont. Put it in an ISA.

speedymama - what do you think of the two suggestions I have made?

Speedy, if you decide to give them some money for bills, etc. I think you need to decide beforehand that it is a gift, not a loan and also decide that it is up to them what they spend it on. We gave some money to a family member a few years ago with no strings attached, we decided that it would not be fair to them to feel they couldn't have a holiday, etc because of being indebted to us.

Having said that, it doed gall me somewhat that the relative's child has brand-new clothes all the time, more than she can reasonably wear, when mine wear mostly cast-offs, hundreds of pounds spent on toys in between Christmas or birthdays, etc..... and that we have had to delay work on our house because of lack of money. Tbh if they got into trouble again I would hesitate to help again.... don't think the person in question has ever learned to live within her means....

oh thanks for checking hmc

speedymamma I thought you said earlier you had been thinking of giving them some cash for a holiday? If you weren't that's fine, no-one has to give anyone else cash for a holiday, but why are we having this conversation . I still suspect she was pissed off with your comments because you can go on holiday. I hate being told to make the best of things by people who can go outside their front door in whatever way they wish, and come inside without having to go through an elaborate routine, but don't mind being told by people in the same situation to make the best of things (because I know they know how hideous it is).

No it's not hot

No I don't think so gess - just going to check (mine is wall mounted so don't spend a lot of time stroking it, lol)

having read the thread again i think you should pay for me my my 3 dcs to go on holiday! I work full time, my ex partner is an alcoholic we don't get any maintenance and we've NEVER been on holiday together.

frankly, your SIL doesn't know she's born. I'd be spending my unit trust cash on putting away for the children to have when they're 18 to help with uni/first flat whatever rather than frittering it away on a forthnight in the canaries.

I was brought up in the JT and MrJT school of 'you can't have what you can't afford'. It's ingrained on my brain and I just cannot fathom people who borrow money for holidays and the like. It's really odd.

are plasma screens hot? (Ds1 sniffs TVs- will he end up with a burnt nose if we got one). Sure someone once said they were hot.

oh thanks

x

OOOOh you're soooo rude