Re ex and DDs periods

Honesty?
I can see his pov and would avoid putting a child in the pill too.

BUT... the issue of her periods, which are clearly flooding with massive clots, need to be addressed.
You need to go and see the GP and I would also ask for her iron levels to be checked as she is also at risk of developing anaemia.

Ive been through that and the only thing that made a difference (that wasn't the pill) was acupuncture. It took a few months for things to settle down but even my first wriod after starting the treatment was better (bleeding nowhere near as bad as it was before).

I'm not sure what is the answer there but she needs support. And if her dad isn't happy wth the pill, he has to provide other (realistic!) options.

Please get her properly assessed and referred to gynae. That's not normal and needs proper investigation.

For what it's worth, I found using two night time pads laid overlapping into one big pad works well. Always ultra night secure. Then sleeping on a big towel, or using tampons too. Just as an interim until she gets assessed. There are also other non hormonal medicines such as tranexamic acid or mefanamic acid that she could try.

Non of her dads business tbh.

What does the doctor suggest?

You can buy tranexamic acid from a Boots pharmacy but only for over 18s

Tell your ex to go and discuss it with her GP if he has issues with his/her advice. At least listening to his views on the magical powers of exercise and a good diet should give the GP a good laugh.

It's her GPs job to weigh up the risks and benefits and to offer advice on the best course of action, not her Father and Dr Google.

If she has PCOS, exercise and cutting various things out of diet can be beneficial, but you none of you know what the issue is yet.

1. Speak to a professional. If GP seems unhelpful, then well woman clinic

2. Perhaps diet intervention may help, but alongside something that can give her relief asap, not on its own!

Try non-hormonal options first. Hormones sent me round the bend as a teen. I had a couple of friends with severe heavy loss and they were put on the pill too. For one, that just meant she had to change an 8-hour nightime pad every 30 minutes, so not much improvement. I am glad there are some non-hormonal options to try.

" but I was told that you can't have a coil fitted unless you have had a child. But things might have changed now."

I think now they just tell you it's going to really hurt due to the cervix not being very open, but you can still have it if you insist. I've got a copper coil and it's been an absolute godsend. No hormones, no insanity. I wouldn't touch a Mirena for the same reason.

Um, so yeah, try non-hormonal first, if she has to go on the pill so be it but please look out for signs of depression or total inability to distinguish fantasy and reality, because like posters above if they disagree with you they can really do a number on you.

I think you can only get tranexamic acid from the GP anyway littlemiss - you're absolutely right she needs to see a doctor.

I think talking to dr about it all is the wisest thing to do. They may be able to suggest something to help, before going down contraception route. They may decide it's not normal and refer her.

I was going to suggest Tranxemic acid too, but I think a visit to the gp is her first port of call. It could be caused by any number of things. She should also do a period diary which she records what each day is like. She could do colour from light for the light days and dark for the heaviest ones. I did one and it really got it across to my gp there was something wrong. It seem just saying you have heavy periods and seem to be bleeding more than not, isnt enough
I would worry that she is put on something, but won't be allowed to take it when at her dads.
But I really do feel for your daughter. It is no fun having such heavy periods, especially at such a young age & a hot water for her.

I went in the pill at 13, for horrendous periods and terrible acne. My Dad didn't know (divorced parents) Mum didn't think to consult with him and I'd have been mortified anyway at that age.

Dad saw the pills in my make up bag when he took me on holiday when I was 14. I hadn't bothered to hide them, I had no reason to. Went absolutely nuclear, rang my Mum and went mad etc. Totally embarrassing for me trying to explain I wasn't having sex (I really wasn't I didn't even have a boyfriend!) and he didn't shut up until Mum really told him off. He was very sorry afterwards. He did apologise profusely and told me not to be embarrassed about it. It was a good lesson in hindsight to see how parents can get it wrong sometimes and it's good to see them admit this occasionally.

This will be really embarrassing for her not to mention painful. He needs to get his head out of his arse and let the doctors decide (along with her and you) what's best if he really believes the nonsense that diet and exercise will fix this!

BTW I went on to have PCOS, it can be linked though didn't get diagnosed until I was 21. Best to push early as possible for investigation, she might just be unlucky with heavy periods but this doesn't sound 'normal' to me.

Just to let you know, OP, there are other non hormonal options too such as mefenemic and/or tranexamic acid tablets that can reduce flow and cramps. My GP prescribed it for me when I was 12 for the same reason.

But yes a visit to the GP is definitely in order. Hope it gets sorted soon.

tatty cross posted, are you my mum?

Go to the GP. When I was your daughters age I had the same problem. The pill wasn't necessary. I just had to take some special tablets twice a day while I was on my period that reduced the flow and Therefore the cramping etc and some special painkillers. When I was 19 my periods began to get normal again. There are loads of options op.

My daughter was in the exact same situation with her periods. A quick visit to the gp and a blood test she was prescribed medication to reduce blood flow and another to relieve the cramps. These were to be taken on the 1st day of her period and worked wonders for her.
Definitely other options to be discussed. Oh and just to add my daughter no longer needs to take the medication so fingers crossed your daughter will also have a positive solution. As for dad... I would probably not bother discussing it further with him.

I have a 15yo who has problems with heavy periods - not as bad as your dd though. Definitely take her to the GP and get it looked at. My dd manages with ibuprofen as soon as her period starts. Also google period pants as that has been a life saver for her. Some of the more expensive versions are actually designed to be used without sanpro so ought to give her reasonable security although my 2 get by with diary dolls from Boots.

I second ourmiracle. Of course he will be as concerned as you are about the health and well-being of his DD but it will be difficult for him to appreciate just how traumatic this issue will be to your daughter. A GP will be able to explain this to him in a professional, factual way and, by the three of you attending together, you will both be able to help her in whatever management is most suitable.
Of course, this is dependant on your daughter being happy about that arrangement.

Tell him to fuck off. Unless he's a gynaecologist, this is nothing to do with him. There may be long term health risks with some treatments, but it's the short term health risks which are of more concern just now.

When she sees the GP, it will be helpful if she has a record of symptoms - dates of last periods; pain; amount of bleeding (usually measured in sanitary protection and how frequently it needs changing;) if there are any clots, a rough idea of the size (over 50p size counts as large); any flooding and so on. You've already put most of that into this thread anyway, but take it as a list.

Make sure she's also checked for anaemia.

All the very best for her. Things can be done, so I hope things are more manageable soon.

Don't discuss anything to do with her health or wellbeing with him in future.

She's 12 now, she will from here on in start taking responsibility for this area herself, and you seem to be the person best placed to advise and support her in that.

Don't even feed back any further on this - just delete him from this area of her life. Not only does he sound ill-fitted to advise, he's clearly mainly concerned with pushing his own agenda rather than supporting his daughter. So, no role for him here.

I might be wrong but I was told that you can't have a coil fitted unless you have had a child. But things might have changed now.

I would deffinatly take her to the doctors as they might decide to put her on a form of contraceptive pill to help her periods and this way her dad won't have a say in the matter as its the doctors recommendation.
One of my friends I was at school with when I was around your dd age used to be on the pill because of her heavy period pains and cramps.

He is obsessed with health clearly he isn’t. Nikita and jessica are both right. My sister had this problem from about the same age and the attitude was unfortunately very much of the ‘you’re a woman, it’s what happens, deal with it.’ She actually had PCOS that went undiagnosed (partially because of lack of other normal indicators, she was underweight if anything for example) but she was fobbed off for years and it left her with fertility issues later on. So basically wherever you end up going, don’t go with the idea that the pill or other contraception is the answer. Hope you get her sorted.

I have a 13 year old DD and an exH, I wouldn't even mention this to him.

You can get meds that reduce the amount of pain and blood loss - tranexamic and mefenamic acid. Do ask the GP about these as well as the pill. They are only taken for the days of bleeding, so have a shorter term effect and may therefore be easier to sell to your ex (tho I agree with PPs that it's none of his damn business really).