Re ex and DDs periods

234 replies

HadloxB · 09/10/2017 14:10

Name changed for this one.

DD 12 (nearly 13) is suffering with her periods. She’s had them about a year and they’re getting worse each month. Bleeding through clothing, awful cramps, she’s given up dance and swimming.

We’ve tried everything in the san pro aisle, tampons hurt her, moonvup she can’t put in, atm she is using thick pads and changing them all the time. Her mattress/bedding is ruined. I’ve had to pick her up from school twice due to soaking through her clothes/pain.

She has asked to go on the pill or have a coil fitted. I spoke to her dad about it and he has absolutely said no way. She’s too young and it’s dangerous. I’ve been bombarded with dodgy links about it causing cancer and death and infertility . He can be very stubborn and is refusing to shift on it. I’ve told him ultimately it isn’t his decision. He said fine but I’ll be responsible for her future health and I “can’t be bothered” to research it or read his links.

AIBU to agree to her going on the pill? Would a GP fit a coil for a 12 year old? Mirena not the copper obviously

OP posts:

RB68 · 09/10/2017 14:17

Don't make it an issue between him and her - its really not his business anymore if the reason for fitting something or going on the pill is medical rather than contraceptive. Go to GP and sort out options first before talking to ex again - make it someone else's opinion not yours or hers so he can address his claptrap to them.

In the mean time give reuseable cloth pads a go even if overnight, they are much more absorbent than disposibles. You replace rinse and wash in a normal load. There are plenty on the market to choose from and they come in funky materials too

Ermm · 09/10/2017 14:16

Am I missing something? Why is her gynaecological health something you ask him about and that he makes a decision about? It’s something to discuss with her doctor and then take appropriate advised medical action for. How is this REMOTELY something for him to be able to be stubborn about. Yeesh.

helpmum2003 · 09/10/2017 14:16

If it was my daughter I would be going to the GP to discuss all options including the pill. A coil would be fairly traumatic at that age so I probably wouldn't consider that unless a last desperate measure.
I work in Contraception and when appropriately prescribed the risks are minimal and IMO many times outweighed by the awful quality of life your dd has.
Although it may cause problems with her Dad I think you have to over rule him on this one. And anyway, your dd may well be able to consent for herself which bypasses both of you...

Rainatnight · 09/10/2017 14:16

Somethings got to be done and he's not the one who has to go through it every month

steff13 · 09/10/2017 14:15

You need to get her to the doctor and see what's going on.

Imonlyfuckinghuman · 09/10/2017 14:15

Why does he think he even has a say in her women's health?

Just do it

justanothermomentintime · 09/10/2017 14:14

Speak to the doc. It must be tiring for her to be losing so much blood not to mention embarrassing if she's soaking through her clothes at school poor thing.

My initial thought was out her on the pill and I still think that would be the best option

ginnybag · 09/10/2017 14:13

So, what's his suggestion?

Ultimately, she doesn't need his permission (or yours), as it's likely a GP would find her competent to choose for herself at her age.

I'd make an appointment and start the ball rolling to some sort of treatment, as frankly, she can't be left to suffer like that. I'd also be wanting investigations into why she's bleeding so heavily at her age. I had horrendous pain as a teen, lots do, but though I was on the heavy side with flow, it was never anything like as bad as you are describing.

thegirlupnorth · 09/10/2017 14:12

This isn't normal for a 12 year old. It'd take her to GP and see what they advise then speak to dad.

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