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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my childminder to use DS's £400 pram for him!!!!!

161 replies

nearlythere · 07/04/2007 14:58

Well, i'm silently fuming! When one of my ds's starting with a childminder friend we bough a silver cross linear freeway for her to use so that we don't have to lug prams etc around all the time. He is her only charge as he is mildly disabled and she is fantastic with him, however, yesterday i nipped out of work to go to the bank and saw something that has wound me up!

The childminders daughter has come to visit for a few days with her 8-month old baby, so there's the start of the story!

I turned round in town and saw my SC pram (very distinctive as is a limited edition colour and i've not seen one the same) went over to say hello to DS and what did i see- the grandaughter sitting in my lovely pram, and my ds shovelled into a cheapo £15 beach type buggy- no padding, no canopy, doesn't lie back etc!

should i say something? am i being silly? Just really annoys me that the daughter is a real cheapskate- has the cheapest of cheap travel system from argos then swans off with my pram as soon as she gets the opportunity! I would understand if she had a small car and couldn't fit everything in, so asked in advance if she could borrrow it, but i know for a fact that her travel system is in the boot of her very large car!!!

OP posts:
raspberryberet · 07/04/2007 16:19

You have to say something to her, otherwise she will take your silence to mean that it's OK with you, which it clearly isn't.

Agree with littlelapin - say something along the lines of "We bought this pram because it meets his special needs, and as your daughter's pushchair doesn't, can you please make sure he uses this one at all times". Don't get into a discussion about it and don't get angry with her, just be matter-of-fact but make it clear that you were not happy about what you saw.

maximummummy · 07/04/2007 16:17

OH MY GOD is this post for real?

Miaou · 07/04/2007 16:04

nearlythere, I would say to your cm something along the lines of how surprised you were when you looked in your pram and saw a strange child sitting in it ... then leave a meaningful pause. If she is at all embarrassed about it she will jump in with an apology/explanation. Then you can take it from there

kimiTheEasterBunny · 07/04/2007 16:03

I would be fuming, tell her it is just not on.

LittleEasterLapin · 07/04/2007 15:56

I'm just going to have to have another baby and FORCE DH to buy me an Xplory...

They do look lovely. What would be your recommendation for a double buggy (just hypothetically at this point!)

misdee · 07/04/2007 15:49

that would wind me up as well.

on xplory even though all my girls are too big for it.

Original poster
nearlythere · 07/04/2007 15:45

ooops! But i only got it because of the colourful spotty lining on the fm! otherwise i would have gone for black!!

PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!

OP posts:
LittleEasterLapin · 07/04/2007 15:41

Xplory

I've really gone off you now...

If you've got that lovely turquoise colour, I'm never replying to another of your posts...

Original poster
nearlythere · 07/04/2007 15:38

on the pram lugging- i keep my xplory in the boot of my car, it only gets used in town as it isn't suitable for country tracks, our cm doesn't drive so walks everywhere! to share one buggy would entail too much faff and she hates the xplory!

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley · 07/04/2007 15:35

I keep cross posting (no doubt this will be one!)

Get your point about running the baby shops and your son being seen in knackered buggy.

You're not a snob, it's good PR!

zippitippitoes · 07/04/2007 15:34

lol

you are losing me now on the snobby bit

WanderingTrolley · 07/04/2007 15:33

agree with lapin about what to say to cm - please say it calmly!

Original poster
nearlythere · 07/04/2007 15:32

cheers guys- i'm feeling a lot calmer now!!! I was upset, but the thing that really got me is that she knows the reason lo has such a nice second buggy is that i run a few baby-shops and so people know that he is one of my ds's and they expect that he is well presented in a quality pram!

i don't want people to see him in an unsuitable buggy that has seen better days!

GOD, I AM A SNOB!

OP posts:
LittleEasterLapin · 07/04/2007 15:30

I would just say "I bought it because it is more comfortable for him, and the other sort are not, please can you make sure he is only taken out in our one." Don't be angry, just matter of fact.

I don't see how she can argue wuth that.

WanderingTrolley · 07/04/2007 15:29

OK, so you'd seen the travel system in the boot that day, yes?

Is this occurence a one-off, or does it happen regularly?

What I'm getting at is this: you seem to be making huge assumptions on the evidence of seeing your cm, her daughter etc on one occasion. Apologies if I've misunderstood here, but I think you need to calm down before you say anything to your childminder.

If it was a one off, to give her gd a go in the pram, I don't think that's a disaster. If it is the case though, I think you could reasonably ask that the like never occurs again, in light of your ds's mild disability.

If it something she does regularly, she's definitely in the wrong, imo, and needs clear instructions about the use of the pram.

One thing though - I don't get the 'lugging about' of prams issue, if she lives next door?

zippitippitoes · 07/04/2007 15:26

I would simply say why was her gdd in it and not your ds? as you bought it for him

i reckon she will be embarrassed and just say it was just a few minutes as her dd loved it so much

doubt she will do it again

hatrick · 07/04/2007 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nearlythere · 07/04/2007 15:24

so glad you lot agree- i thought i was just being a snobby cow!!

I really don't want to change cm's, she knows my lo and his limitations and she is great- i often bump into them while i'm doing banking or errands and i know that this is unusual and out of character- i am inclined to think it was the daughters persausion- she is a snob but not a pramaholic (unlike me!!) and didn't realise that people look at prams like they do cars and i think she is a bit embarassed by the travel system now!

So guys what do you say to the cm- bear in mind she is also a friend and next door neighbour!

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 07/04/2007 15:23

Feel free to be livid. I bet she was horrifyed when she saw you

sunnywong · 07/04/2007 15:20

of course you should say something

that is a farking liberty, as Nan would say

LittleEasterLapin · 07/04/2007 15:20

I'd be livid. Why on earth couldn't the GD be in the cheapo pram? Whose was it?

Original poster
nearlythere · 07/04/2007 15:19

the travel system is in the boot of the car as the childminder is our next-door neighbour and uses our shared carport!!!

Maybe i'm being a snob but i paid a lot of money so that my LO has a comfy pushchair (ps it has no sheets so is the same as any other buggy!) just annoys me that she only spent £99 on her travel system but uses mine because it is better- if she felt like this then why didn't she spend a bit more herself- she has enough money to be manicured and sunbedded every week so its not like she's skint- just stingy!

OP posts:
amidaiwish · 07/04/2007 15:18

i'm with colditz
you lot are too reasonable
i would be FURIOUS

colditz · 07/04/2007 15:16

I'd be bloody fuming if my son was foisted out of his own lovely pram to sit someone elses child in it, and I would actually try to find another childminder, because I bet this isn't the only thingt she does.

What else is she taking off your son to give to her grand child ffs? It's no better than stealing.

zippitippitoes · 07/04/2007 15:14

I would ask the cm why

has her dd said oh i love that pram can i put xx in it

if her pram wasn't suitable for some reason ie didn't lie back and her baby needed a nap then that is tough

I can't think of any valid reason for the swap tbh