hello I am AIBU virgin so please be nice
tis father's retirement do in May
My children see father very rarely (my parents divorced when I was little) and have visited his house maybe two or three times. They like him and he is very nice to them but they do not know his house or him very well.
He has invited us to his retirement party (daytime) but wants us to come the night before and stay over so we can have a family meal with half-brothers, maybe long-lost cousins, etc
Now I had assumed that this would be at his house since his girlfriend is a really good cook; they have huge table etc and we will have the dds with us (none of other people there have kids)
but today he said we would all be going to the local pub and the lady next door who had had five children of her own would be able to babysit and would this be ok? I would only be a mile down the road. Or they could come to the pub with us?
The dds have never been left with a babysitter, only ever with my mum. dd1 would prob be okay but if dd2 (2yrs) woke (which she could easily do in a strange place; last week when we were away in London I went out a few nights and every time I found her in bed with my mum who was with us as she had woken and got distressed) I don't know how she would react to a complete stranger going 'there there'
I think I sound like I am being unreasonable. I know that when they were married my mum and him disagreed on things like this. I don't want to seem unreasonable when it is his big weekend but this is not something I would normally do.
I can't take them to the pub. They go to bed at 7. A late night (9ish) is one thing but we're not talking about 9ish. I don't think it's the place for a 2 year old to be after 9 and she would be crazy tired and I would end up bfeeding her and I know he wouldn't approve.
The bottom line is, you can't go out late to the pub when you have kids, can you? That's one of the things about having kids. Isn't it?
I don't think I could relax with either scenario. I have said I am going to talk to dh. But what I really mean is 'I am going to talk to dh and tell him how much we really do not mean to do this'
so, court of mn. Rule.