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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suggest to dh which story to read to the dd's tonight?

65 replies

emkana · 04/04/2007 19:02

Dh is in a huff because tonight as the girls were having a bath I leaved through the story book they are currently reading and suggested stories of titles they could read. He got totally arsey about it and said he wouldn't read it out of principle now, and that I was being a control freak.

FFS I was only making suggestions. Girls got quite upset as well because they were begging him to read the 12 Dancing Princesses or whatever that I had suggested and he said no.

I don't know what got into him, I normally always sort out the stuff he reads to them at night, I got books like the Faraway Tree and stuff for him.

IMO he is being an arse, what does everybody else think.

OP posts:
PestoEasterMonster · 04/04/2007 19:54

It flipping well is. I really sympathise with you. Sometimes I am seething so much that I can't sleep and end up in the middle of the night writing down what actually happened, just to make sure I am not going mad and imagining the unreasonableness of it all. I have also, from time to time, wondered about splitting up over it, but not actually gone down that road. Nowadays I tend to try and be the 'grown-up' and calmly talk to him as if nothing's happened. He will, however, do his best to avoid me & the dds for a couple of days or so, whilst he gets over his tantrum. We just ignore him and get on as best we can as normal.

hana · 04/04/2007 19:52

when dh does bath and bed I disappear, am glad to have a break from doing it. whatever books they read ? I dont care tbh as it's one less decison that I have to make

lapsedrunner · 04/04/2007 19:52

DH puts DS to bed so DH choses book....sounds logical to me......get a life

MrsGordonRamsay · 04/04/2007 19:48

Have only read the OP.

But that is his time with the children. They can speak for themselves can they not ?

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:46

it's bleeding hard work isn't it pesto

OP posts:
PestoEasterMonster · 04/04/2007 19:43

I'm totally with you Emkana. I tend to forget that my DH is like this, then you accidentally suggest something which usually would be something totally unremarkable or harmless and for some stupid reason he will take it the wrong way and completely turn. I end up like you, wishing I could have predicted his totally irrational (and IMO unreasonable) behaviour, because of course I wouldn't intentionally say something to set him off. My DH will then go off in a huff and not speak to me or dds for days whilst he sulks. It is horrible and tends to happen on a 6 weekly cycle.

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:38

and cod to be perfectly honest I don't know where you take the evidence from to come to these general conclusions about our relationship.

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:35

Well I still think he is being an arse about it.

If I had known he would react like that of course I wouldn't have done it.

I just didn't think it would be such a f*ing BIG DEAL. I didn't march up to him and say "Read this tonight" I was only making suggestions.

Tbh the way I am feeling generally atm I can just do without this shit.

I have been feeling fragile all day because ds is ill, and dh knows this too. So he can just get lost as far as I'm concerned.

OP posts:
OrvilleRedenbacher · 04/04/2007 19:21

theres too mcuh "i do this you do that" cnat you both just lead by exampl?
do kind things becase you want to?

foxinsocks · 04/04/2007 19:19

just noticed your other thread in health

sounds like you're both a bit touchy at the moment (understandable - not having a go)

step back from it all and try not to let it escalate - it's just the sort of minor row that gets very annoying and under the skin

princessmelTingChoccyEggs · 04/04/2007 19:18

I don't think its bad that you made a suggestion. We're you just thinking out loud 'that one would be nice ' etc.?
I think it was was childish of him not to read it if the girls wanted it though.

Don't get that you normally sort out the stuff he reads. Surely the children can choose for themselves or if not then him. He's the one who's got to read it. They're the ones listening to it.

PestoEasterMonster · 04/04/2007 19:16

Emkana, they sound very similar. On hair-wash nights I usually towel dd2 and dry her hair and DH is called up to help dd1 towel-dry and do her hair. Well dd1's towel was sopping wet and instead of using her other towel dh went to use mine. DD1 told him not to that's Mummy's towel, use my other towel and I said, yes, use the other one, not mine (not hygeinic..etc) and DH started ranting and stomped off and flatly refused to help dd1 at all. He left her bemused and in tears and guess who ended up having to sort out both dds? Yes, me, Muggins!! Grrr!!

beckybrastraps · 04/04/2007 19:16

I leave bedtime totally up to DH and DCs.

I think you are BU. Sorry.

AnnabelCaramel · 04/04/2007 19:15

Bloody hell I'd be glad if my dh EVER got home in time for bathtime. That would be a fairystory.

What a thing to get worked up about.

oxocube · 04/04/2007 19:14

Actually, if he bathed them as well, I would be doubly delighted (and scared - weirdville in the oxohousehold!!)

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:13

cod I think it is though because I think it's double standards of him to find this control freakery when I normally choose the reading material by buying/borrowing it.

OP posts:
OrvilleRedenbacher · 04/04/2007 19:12

emkana
who cares wher the boooks come from?
who cares?
thast not the issue.

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:12

DimpledTHighs, bath time in this house is always spent with all of us together really.

OP posts:
oxocube · 04/04/2007 19:12

Well I would be delighted if my husband offered to read anything to any of the kids, so I'm not the best person to ask

misdee · 04/04/2007 19:11

i do the book-buying as dh cant get to the shops himself. but the girls books are accessable to them and they go and choose,. dh reads.

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:11

cod, my point is that he doesn't accuse me of control freakery if I buy/borrow books for them to read, because he's too lazy to do it/doesn't have time

so it simply didn't occur to me that he would this too much all of a sudden

OP posts:
mousiemousie · 04/04/2007 19:11

Whole thing not worth rowing over emkana

compo · 04/04/2007 19:10

oh yes, once bedtime starts i'm on the PC with wine, that's why I don't care what's going on

OrvilleRedenbacher · 04/04/2007 19:10

"So if your dh does bedtime stories, do they purchase or borrow books themselves to read to the children? Or do you take care of that?
"

no i buy r borrow cos i liek ti and he is out workign to support us all

have never conteplated htis
we dont do "tit for tat" ont eh whole

compo · 04/04/2007 19:09

my dh reads bedtime stories and he decides with ds what to rrad. He buys bedtime reading books for ds and I buy/borrow the ones that are read in the day mostly. I never interfere with it cos I'm not bothered about it!!

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