Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children playing out in the street

59 replies

dunfightin · 07/09/2017 21:27

At the start of the summer holidays, all the kids on our street began playing out together. Different ages, but mostly primary with a couple of early secondary kids but lovely mix of ages and a couple of different schools - from year 2 upwards.
As parents we have kept an eye on them collectively but at a distance. It's a quiet side street in suburban very family orientated area. We think it's lovely that they get chance to work out how to play collectively and work out rules between themselves.
A couple of the neighbours object, including oddly one of whom has a toddler.
Kids are playing, laughing and occasionally shouting but all normal volume but neighbours want to come home to peace and quiet.
So are we being unreasonable to say it's ok that kids play out after school? As one of the DCs said it's my human right to play on the street it's my childhood.
Should agree times or ask them to be in when the childless come in from work around 6pm?
As another parent said it'll soon stop as nights draw in and weather gets worse.
Apparently someone on the street also contacted the police - Confused.
Um not anti-social behaviour or excessive noise. Am now drinking

OP posts:
Witchend · 08/09/2017 09:35

I thought you were being totally reasonable until your update but this:
All got a bit heated as various parents and some of the kids put some of the points such as fact that grumpy adults probably enjoyed the freedom of being out when they were younger.
It was quite funny when one of the DCs put the point about her human right to enjoy her childhood.

Makes me suspect that the children are being more of a pain than I would have thought from your initial description.
Children who "know their rights" and express them like that are generally pretty obnoxious and usually encouraged by their doting parents who think they are so clever.

Aridane · 08/09/2017 09:32

So are we being unreasonable to say it's ok that kids play out after school? As one of the DCs said it's my human right to play on the street it's my childhood.

What a precocious prat!

Should agree times or ask them to be in when the childless come in from work around 6pm?

What an unnecessary way to refer to people without children.

Had you phrased you the OP differently, I would have said YANBU. However, given the language you use / the slant of your post, I suspect that the reality is that YABU

GerdaLovesLili · 08/09/2017 09:30

I'd also add that unrelated older children shouldn't be used as baby minders for toddlers who are far two young to be out playing in the middle of the road without adult supervision.

Our older children are now all allowed to go to the park next door as long as they stay within sight of the houses overlooking it. I was horrified the other day to find the tiny toddler (just walking) from number 5, on is own pushing his sister's scooter up and down the middle of the road with none of the adults from the family anywhere to be seen. (I returned him to his house). Then later he appeared next to me while I was gardening (out of sight of his house)... His parents told me they expected our children to "keep an eye" on him. No. You and your family are responsible for your child, and now most of the children are old enough to play out on their own without constant supervision you're jolly lucky that an adult was about to protect him.

EdmundCleverClogs · 08/09/2017 09:12

Kids playing out is fine, as long as it's not excessively disturbing the peace of other neighbours. Ball games after about 8.30/9pm for example, or shouting/screeching when playing tag and such. Also being respectful of properties - kids on our street have no care for going carefully past cars when on bikes/scooters. There have been a few 'incidents' of scratches, including to one visitor to our house's car. The parents just think it's 'kids being kids', I wonder sometimes how much they delude themselves just to get the kids from under feet.

So mostly I agree, however the 'it's my human right to play outside', urgh, what a precocious child. You have to wonder where they get such entitled ideas from, awful attitude.

AJPTaylor · 08/09/2017 09:01

As long as they are not schreeching and vary where they play then it should be ok

sparklediamonds · 08/09/2017 08:56

You let your baby out into the road with a group of children? Shock

museumum · 08/09/2017 08:55

I have a pre school child and I'd want kids to be heading into their own homes between 6&7 otherwise my child will never be able to sleep.

As a child we didn't play out after dinner on a school night.

Sandsnake · 08/09/2017 08:50

Our road has lots of kids playing out and I think it's great. They occasionally bring my under 2 yo DS into their gang and he charges around with them and they look after him so sweetly (with me watching the whole time). They play at a reasonable volume level - not much in the way of screaming etc and it's all very nice.

Definitely don't stop the kids from playing. That said, its important that they understand that other people have 'rights' too; it's never too young to learn about neighbourliness and consideration. Tell them your neighbours value quiet and therefore it is the right thing to avoid making unnecessary noise.

Greyhorses · 08/09/2017 08:46

I don't mind playing but sometimes I don't think parents realise how annoying the screaming, screeching and constant ball throwing really is. It's 'cute' when it's your child but not when it's someone else's and all you want to do is relax after a 10 hour shift.

The ones outside my house scream non stop until 8-9pm every single night.

So I suppose it depends if your being honest about the volume or not!

Greyhorses · 08/09/2017 08:34

I don't mind playing but sometimes I don't think parents realise how annoying the screaming, screeching and constant ball throwing really is. It's 'cute' when it's your child but not when it's someone else's and all you want to do is relax after a 10 hour shift.

The ones outside my house scream non stop until 8-9pm every single night.

So I suppose it depends if your being honest about the volume or not!

PeanutButterIsEverything · 08/09/2017 08:25

If they were on my actual doorstep I'd ask them not to sit there and ask them to be careful about balls hitting the window. Definitely reasonable to be pissed off by that. I have asked kids not to sit on the railings outside our house and not to come through a hole in the hedge between our front garden and next doors. Both times they've had the good grace to not repeat it (or not while I've seen!) I know not all kids are as polite as that.

Moanyoldcow · 08/09/2017 08:16

There's a difference though, isn't there, between playing games on the pavement/street and screeching or shouting, hitting balls into your window or making noise on your doorstep?

No one reasonable would be fine with the last 3 points but just normal playing shouldn't provoke such ire.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 07/09/2017 23:12

It honestly depends if they are specifically spending a lot of time outside specific houses. Sure if they're a good few doors down from your house its not THAT loud, but if its your house they're right outside, its REALLY loud.
We don't have a front garden/yard or porch or anything, door opens right on to the street and front room has a bay window that sticks out a bit in to the pavement. The sound of kids thudding past as theyre running about or on scooters and the like is actually really noisy, as is when theyre bouncing/kicking balls. It scares me to death when they miss throw/kick and it slams in to the window, im terrified its going to break. At the times when the house next door is rented out to families with kids old enough to play out, they and the neighbours kids congregate. When its your front step they're all sat on, loudly talking, bouncing balls etc, it gets to be too much very quickly. Especially when they glare at you when you want to get in or out your own house and they don't want to stand up off your doorstep to let you!
We've had our car damaged both accidentally by them getting too close when riding bikes and scooters on the pavement, and from just dumping their bikes/scooters down when they get off to have a break and sit on the doorsteps, and also deliberately because they've been asked to please move off the step/from literally right outside our door/front room window etc out of revenge. I remember being a kid, and some neighbours asking us politely to please move from playing our games outside their house to further down the street etc. I always was happy to move without fuss, but some of the other kids got outraged, would lob the balls right at their windows or point blank refuse to move. Kids can be really nasty and vindictive. It also depends what they're playing, some "games" like knocking on doors and running away aren't acceptable.
It really is only now i'm the adult inside the house not the kid outdoors playing, i've actually realised just how loud a kid playing outside really is, and i feel guilty, despite the fact we often went up the the grassy bit at the top of the street to play away from the houses. Sadly thats now had houses built on it, so in the street is the only choice for the current crop of kids.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 07/09/2017 22:57

I bet those complaining are the same lot complaining that kids spend too much time on their phones or playing computer games. Some people just love to criticise.

Bluffinwithmymuffin · 07/09/2017 22:55

I'm all for children playing out, historically the streets belong to us, the people, and it's great to know that we still have some roads quiet and safe enough for this to happen - just a bit uncomfortable with the idea of a child talking about 'his right' to be on the street Shock I'd remind him it's also the neighbors' right not to be unduly disturbed. Result, everyone happy (hopefully)

fourfuckssake4 · 07/09/2017 22:53

Just wait a few years when they all teenagers drinking cider, smoking weed and playing music when neighbours have small kids Hmm

sparklediamonds · 07/09/2017 22:45

Blimey, that's a 'spirited' child ...

dunfightin · 07/09/2017 22:43

Thanks. We do expect the kids to behave within bounds and it will be dark soon. All got a bit heated as various parents and some of the kids put some of the points such as fact that grumpy adults probably enjoyed the freedom of being out when they were younger.
It was quite funny when one of the DCs put the point about her human right to enjoy her childhood.
Makes me think everyone should be out and about more then we'd all know each other and learn toleration a bit more. Adults without kids to shut their doors and not speak to one another whereas kids have all been getting to know one another outside

OP posts:
MsMims · 07/09/2017 22:38

How many children? What's 'normal volume'? I bet the noise is the issue people have, not the playing outside.

I like the sound of children playing but every evening would be wearing. If the neighbours who object are home by 6, the children could still have a couple of hours outside without upsetting anyone. Instead of talking about 'human rights' to play outside I'd also be encouraging the responsibility of considering others, especially neighbours.

Littlecaf · 07/09/2017 22:36

We have a toddler who would probably be disturbed by kids playing on the street, but I'd deal with it by asking the children and parents to either be quiet by 8pm or not play outside our house.

I played in the street at a kid, but we (there was a gang of about 6 of us) were asked occasionally and constantly reminded of ;by our parents) which houses we couldn't play outside of due to elderly or babies etc and we're always in by 7.30ish.

You all have to rub along with each other and this includes making allowances for other people's life's and peace. You just need to find a balance with your neighbours.

PeanutButterIsEverything · 07/09/2017 22:26

I could have started a very similar thread from the point of view of your neighbour with the toddler. We have a large (and growing) number of children who all play out in our street and by and large they seem like a nice bunch of kids, playing games, a nice mixture of girls/boys/different ages etc. But you know, every bloody day and evening over the holidays they've been out, from about 4pm til 9pm, sometimes later. More or less outside our house and outside our toddler's bedroom window. The constant shouting and screeching can get a bit wearing but thankfully DS has mostly slept through it. I know I am being massively unreasonable about it so haven't verbalised it to anyone on the street as really the kids are doing just what we all want kids to do and playing collaborative games and not looking at screens! I'm glad it's getting darker earlier though as they're not out so late. When we get a quiet night it's bliss.

Whenever I feel irritated by the noise I just try and think that it's probably one of the nicer noises to be plagued by! And if you live in a built up area it's just part of life I guess.

QuickWash · 07/09/2017 22:07

I absolutely love that we live in a road where all the children play out together and feel so glad that mine get to experience it a bit as I spent my entire childhood out and had a fabulous time!

On the other hand, I also love living in a street where neighbour's help each other and act as a community so in very conscious to ask the kids to keep off others' drives bed and gardens and to keep the noise down etc.

Some people will always moan whatever you do, and it's going to be dark and cold soon too.

Earlyriser84 · 07/09/2017 21:51

FGS it's children playing out

It's what they should be doing (as long as it's not too late obviously)

In fact it should be encouraged. What's wrong with having a sense of community that involves the younger generation instead of them being sat indoors or banished elsewhere because of a few miserable entitled adults

Earlyriser84 · 07/09/2017 21:45

Ask them whether they played out when they were children ?! I bet they did

sparklediamonds · 07/09/2017 21:42

I hate to be the voice of dissension but I dislike children playing out in the street. Obviously, contacting the police is ridiculously over the top, but that doesn't mean that the objections in themselves are ridiculous if that makes sense.

After all, the street may be family orientated but it isn't like going to a park or similar where you could reasonably expect noisy children!

I do think your neighbours are entitled to peace and quiet and I don't think children on a road is something to be encouraged.

Swipe left for the next trending thread