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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's vulgar not to close your blinds at night?

60 replies

Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 22:35

So I'm not stared at every time I leave my house and don't see moobs when I let the cat in.

The front of all the houses on my drive completely overlook each other and the bedroom and living room windows are the same width of the room and 3/4 the height. You can see everything in the houses opposite. The backs aren't overlooked so people tend to angle the front blinds so you can't see in and open the back.

NDN have always kept their blinds downstairs fully open doesn't help with constantly yappy dog but that's a different story and it annoys me with them sat in the window all day and night looking out but I can live with it.

Newish family opposite keep living room and bedroom blinds pulled back, lights on till about 2am. I mean each to their own but would you really want to be on display to the whole street?

Just gone to let DCat in and bloke opposite is on full show in the bedroom, blinds pulled right back, moobs out scratching his arse. It's not the first time. Now he's unfortunately got my attention, I've angled my blinds to see out and he's walked in and out 3 times turning the light on and off going nowhere near the blinds to close them.

I was worried when I first moved in if people could see me in the bathroom through the blinds.

AIBU to think it's polite to close the blinds and not have your life and scratching your arse on full view or is it each to their own?

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SeaLionsOnMyShirt · 21/08/2017 23:37

Vulgar?? Don't make me laugh. My DM thinks it's vulgar to have curtains, as if you need them then it means that you have neighbours within seeing distance mutters about being a teenager being woken up at 4am in the summer as we had no curtains whatsover

Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:37

Tatty I completely agree with you about vertical blinds but I wanted black out blinds so no one could look in or see me through my blinds - cos I was overlooked! It's just one huge window so I couldn't get anything else.

I was brought up with that view as well but if you don't want people to look at what you're doing shut your blinds! Open downstairs blinds are an invitation surely?

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nursy1 · 21/08/2017 23:35

I always leave the curtains open. Like to see the moon and the dawn if I'm awake. Mind you we are in the middle if the countryside. Only the sheep for neighbors

TattyCat · 21/08/2017 23:28

YABU for having vertical blinds. They are office wear only.

But I have to confess, if I'm walking past a house/houses and they have lights on and curtains open, I'll have a look; a sneaky look, but a look nevertheless. This, on the basis that they clearly don't mind because they've put themselves on stage. Grin

I was brought up with the view that's it's rude to look in and I didn't, for years and years. Now, I don't care.

Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:26

I think it's because it's a 30s semi and the windows are big (12 ft by 6ft) so you are aware that everything you have and do can be seen from the outside.

We're very close at the front, two cars widths only, were not overlooked from the back which is why most of us walk semi naked and scratch our arses in front of the back windows

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GreatFuckability · 21/08/2017 23:21

i couldn't give the smallest fuck tbh.

Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:19

I've got long vertical blinds downstairs and I angle them to give some light but aren't open fully

My front bedroom blinds are angled also, I tend to open and close them when I leave then before I get dressed for bed.

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Notso · 21/08/2017 23:17

Why do you and all your neighbours have blinds? Do you live on one of those weird estates where you other residents call a meeting if someone paints their door too jauntily coloured?

PollyFlint · 21/08/2017 23:16

You know what's more vulgar? Gawping into people's houses. You're not just taking a glance, are you? Stop being so bloody nosy! You're going way beyond a glimpse if you've had time to decide your neighbour's physique isn't to your liking.

People can leave their blinds open as long as they want. There's nothing 'vulgar' or 'showy' about it. If you want to stare through their windows and make weird judgements about their bodies, that's your problem, not theirs. Personally, I tend to close the curtains when it gets dark, but that's just my personal preference. Some people feel a bit hemmed in or claustrophobic with the blinds closed, don't they? I can't see why that's a problem.

Come on all admit it - when you see an open window when you're walking past you can't help but look in!

Er, nope. I couldn't give a gnat's chuff what's inside my neighbour's houses and I'd consider it really rude to look into their windows as I was passing.

Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:11

Hedda I feel like one now!

Trust me it was a proper show with nowhere else to look. Why should I get grief for opening and having a look out of my own front door and window three times in the night when there's someone doing a display for the whole street?

Im thinking some home alone treats for my windows.

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Travelledtheworld · 21/08/2017 23:11

I bought a house from a man who didn't have any bedroom curtains, just flimsy net things. Claimed he liked to be woken up by the sunrise.
HE WAS A PERVERT.
Liked to parade around naked.
Exposed himself to a Neighbourhood teenager and later was arrested for molestinh an 8 year old.

ZestyDragon · 21/08/2017 23:10

DH would have the blinds or curtains closed all the time. He is from NI and his DM was obsessed with the idea that they would get shot through the window if a sniper could see in. I realise that's quite an unusual reason but we have compromised for his peace of mind. Open during the day but all shut at night. I don't consider it vulgar to leave them open though.

For the person who feels safer with the light on and curtains open though, that would make me feel the opposite. Surely if the light is on you can't see out?

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 21/08/2017 23:07

What do you mean you've angled your blinds? Have you got those office-type blinds in your living room? What are they called, Venetian blinds?

HeddaGarbled · 21/08/2017 23:07

Oh come on, you might cast an idle glance at a lit window but you'd have to be properly looking for moobs, arse scratching etc.

You angled your blinds to watch him for long enough to see him move in and out of the room three times. You're a peeping weirdo curtain twitcher.

Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:03

I can understand downstairs windows.

I wouldn't do it myself just because I wouldn't people looking in at me. Come on all admit it - when you see an open window when you're walking past you can't help but look in!

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Spuddington · 21/08/2017 22:59

I'm obviously vulgar then.

theconstantinoplegardener · 21/08/2017 22:57

Perhaps your neighbours are Dutch? In the Netherlands, it's considered perfectly respectable to leave blinds open at night. Indeed, closed curtains arouse suspicion. The expectation is that you will not look!

GinAndToast · 21/08/2017 22:57

You remind me of my ex mil who thought it essential to have matching bet curtains on both ground floor and first floor windows "so everyone would know we own the whole house, not just a flat."

We luckily live in the countryside now and those bastarding curtains are long gone and nobody cares about it as.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/08/2017 22:56

I wasn't clear - I do just mean the downstairs curtains - I do close the bedroom curtains!

SpornStar · 21/08/2017 22:55

My blinds are open and my windows are huge. I have no neighbours though.

If I scratch my arse in front of a blindless window but no one can see me, am I still vulgar?

Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 22:51

I can't help but look if I open my front door to let cat in and there's a moob scratching arse performance going on in front of me. Should I open the doors with my eyes shut?

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/08/2017 22:50

I prefer to leave the curtains open, even at night with the lights on - it's hard to explain, but I feel more secure if I can see out, than if the curtains are shut and I can't see out. I know it makes no sense, and, if anything, I should feel less secure with the curtains open, but I can't help feeling this way.

I live at the end of a cul de sac, though, and no-one else's front room windows look directly into mine so I don't think I am offending anyone with my weirdness.

Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 22:50

WyfOfBathe thankfully lower than his house so couldn't see if totally nude. He was def having a good scratch of his lower regions.

CleanFreak123 glad it's not just me!

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LinaBo · 21/08/2017 22:50

I don't even have blinds on my front window Grin It's a massive floor to ceiling window in my kitchen - wonderful light, I pretty much bought the house because of it, so I would never block it just because of whatever the neighbours think of me. I do have curtains upstairs though, and DH normally closes them when he arrives from work and changes into his home clothes.

GavelRavel · 21/08/2017 22:47

I don't think it's vulgar but I think it's very odd not to cover the windows somehow at night. I wouldn't be able.to sleep.