correct names and MILs

108 replies

lucyellensmum · 29/03/2007 15:30

I get very very angry btw when mother in law sends cards to dd with her dads surname, not married see. I woudlnt mind if she was doing it by mistake but is making a point - my point being if he wants his dd to have his name then he should bloody well marry her mother! So there's a can of worms, i should point out that my MIL is lovely though and i love her but you know how it is with us mums and our MIL, just let anyone q our parenting, go on just you try it! Oh god, do i go on too much. But what do you all think, should a child bear its fathers name, and where did that come from. I have a child from a previous relationship though and wanted both children to have same surname, have been with DP for 15 years and no intention on getting married - grrr.

OP posts:

min912 · 29/03/2007 16:22

That would definitely annoy me!

My MIL sends post addressed to 'Mr & Mrs

ScottishMummy · 29/03/2007 16:22

chipmonkey - sounds like the MIL is trying to get u going chosing incorrectly listing u in address book as DP surname

why dont u list her in your filofax under her maiden name

ScottishMummy · 29/03/2007 16:17

My baby got double barrelled surname Mine-Dad
we both discussed it and are happy with that option

didnt change my name when i married btw, my view is itis my name did not want to change and boyfriend completely agreed

professionally, did not want to cange name either

personal choice

both our respective families think it is all weird and raised eyebrows at my non name change and baby double-barrelled surname

chipmonkey · 29/03/2007 16:12

We're married and I have kept my own surname. MIL has written my name down in her address book with dh's surname though! She has done the same to SIL, then she leaves the notebook around for us to see! TBH, there are times when I've thought I'd like to use dh's surname socially and my own for work but she's annoyed me so much that I'll never change it now under any circumstances.

iwouldgoouttonight · 29/03/2007 16:06

I'll probably take my DP's name because I don't like my own! But definitely don't think you should have to. A couple of friends of mine have recently got married and kept their own names.

I get phone calls asking for Mrs and then my DP's surname even though we're not even married - I used to correct people but now I can't be bothered!

willywonkasEgghunt · 29/03/2007 15:44

I chose not to take dh's name when we married but my gran still insists on sending post etc. to Mrs x, or even worse, writing cheques out in my married name. Ended up having to set up a separate bank account so I could bank them

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 29/03/2007 15:41

i can see why you have done with DPs name there it makes sense. Although (here's another can!) why women have to give up their names when they marry is beyond me (no no im not bitter cos no one will marry me, not in the slightest!)

OP posts:

iwouldgoouttonight · 29/03/2007 15:39

Its up to you and your partner what surname you want to give your child! We've given our DS my partners name because we're thinking of getting married eventually so then we'll all have the same name, but I know a few people who have given their children the mum's name - its personal preference. I'd tell her (or get your partner to tell her) that it upsets you when she gets it wrong.

I hate it when my MIL adds 'ie' to the end of my DS's name - I did tell her that I didn't like it but it appears to make no difference and she still does it anyway! My MIL is annoying me a lot at the monent but thats a different matter..!

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