Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking that my DH is being ureasonable to me?

84 replies

bubblicious · 28/03/2007 19:52

or am I just over reacting?

On Monday I went in to hospital to have a small but nevertheless scary procedure on my heart. I had to stay in hosp 1 night and so I got back yesterday lunchtime. I have been given a list of does and donts etc such as only go up stairs if you really have too, no driving for a week,no heavy lifting and the list goes on! Oh and it says rest a lot!

Well so far DH has expected me to cook dinner last night and tonight(admittedly he was taking DDs to dance last night, but I have to manage to juggle every Tues to cook a meal and get them to and from dance!)

iron his work trousers and DD sch jumper( he does normally iron but for the life he cant iron creases, but it was the comment I got from him which really hurt when I told him how much it hurt just standing in one place bending over- his comment "well sit then")

and then when I was just in the kitchen making their sandwiches for tomorrow and sorting the 2DDs that had just come in from Brownies (with cake and milk) he shouts through hatch way and says, are you making a cup of tea oh and I'll have cake too!

Should I tell him to bog off (which is what I nearly did, but I very politely said"Im the one that has just had an op, not you" I did not make him the cup of tea and strange thing is he hasnt bothered to make it so he cant be that fussed!

there feel better for that he just makes me so at times!

OP posts:
kslatts · 29/03/2007 12:38

You are not being unreasonable.

Go to bed and let him cope for a while.

HoppyDaddy · 29/03/2007 11:43

Jesus, about the only time I agree with Xenia is when she's bashing lazy tossy men.

Bubblicious, is your dh trying to ignore your problems? Hoping it will just go away?

Or is he just being a selfish twat?

Do you have enough energy to kick him in the cock?

Christ, DW fainted the other day. I wouldn't let her do a thing after that. She got the hump, though.

Harra · 29/03/2007 10:47

Ow bubblicious - you really must rest - It's so easy to think you are ok when you can't see what has been done, but your heart has taken a bit of trauma due to the procedure and will need time to recover - remember it is doing an essential job of pumping blood round your body getting oxygen to everywhere - anything you do - getting out of bed, walking, puts demands on your body so you do need to do the minimum to let your heart recover and get back to full strength. Hope your dh is behaving now.

Elasticwoman · 29/03/2007 10:03

People will treat you in the way that you let them get away with. Your big mistake was not getting straight into bed when you got home from hospital, and staying there except for trips to the toilet. What were you thinking of, IRONING?? Just because he expected you to?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/03/2007 22:42

bubblicious...Just Dont Do It.

He might expect it, he might ask. Say no.

Original poster
bubblicious · 28/03/2007 22:39

Harra I had a procedure to see if I had an extra connection/pathway ETC which I did and cardiologist blasted it for me by catheter ablation! Ouch it hurt1 as I was awake

OP posts:
cinnamontam · 28/03/2007 22:30

Selfish sod!!

Get into bed and tell him to take care of everyone for a few days while you rest.

Bambiraptor · 28/03/2007 22:23

Exactly what Xenia said.

Judy1234 · 28/03/2007 21:47

You are letting your children and your husband down by not being in bed now. You're ignoring doctor's advice. Women over the ages and around the world do this martyr thing, cause themselves damage and then moan again. It's not the way to be. Take an action (go to bed) and do what the doctor said.

pinkchampagne · 28/03/2007 21:45

Last I heard from bubble, she had felt she had to get off the computer because her husband was getting on at her to take clothes out of the tumble dryer.

I am so cross that he is expecting her to do all this & not allowing her to rest.

recoveringmum · 28/03/2007 21:36

take a bath and relax. you deserve it.
hugs

recoveringmum · 28/03/2007 21:35

agree with everyone who recommends you to take it easy and get your rest, creased trousers or unwashed children.
dont get angry at dh now because stress and anger are more damaging then lack of rest!

he should have made plans to give you a good 48 hours OFF after you were in hospital and help you out the rest of the week, but you can tell him about that after you are rested.
(and what about some flowers or chocolates or something? you were in an operation!)

pinkchampagne · 28/03/2007 21:34

Please make sure you rest, bubble, it is important you take it easy.

lisad123 · 28/03/2007 21:25

I am shocked and angry for you
Tell him to sod off, tell him your going to your bed and not moving all day tomorrow.
L

Harra · 28/03/2007 21:23

Sounds like you had an angiogram (am a cardiac nurse) - You do need to rest - he is being unreasonable. Like a lot of men I know not good when their other half needs attention for longer than half a day. Agree with pinkchampagne -look after yourself. Follow the advice - you will get overtired, bruising around the groin if you do too much, no matter how good you feel. Sorry he is being like this.

pinkchampagne · 28/03/2007 21:14

Can't believe he made you cook again tonight!!!

LowFatMilkshake · 28/03/2007 21:08

To your DH -

Tell him unles you rest at home you will be readmitted and forced to rest. Then he'll be on his own completely

When I was in hosp with DS recently I had to write washing machine instructions for DH and he even tried ironing while he stayed home with DD.

It's not forever so your DH should do his share and look after his family - including you!

Original poster
bubblicious · 28/03/2007 21:08

Thanks PP, didnt remember you at first but have now twigged! must the the diazapam!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
bubblicious · 28/03/2007 21:06

LOl. have made an app tomorrow for GP! so hope all is ok.

OP posts:
pinkchampagne · 28/03/2007 21:06

I can't believe your DH, bubble!! He should be looking after you, not demanding you do chores for him!

Like others have said, stop cooking etc & look after yourself. You only got out of hospital yesterday afternoon FGS!!

I amon your behalf!

pansypants · 28/03/2007 20:59

good at least something wil bw done, better form a cardiologist than a jobbing gp imo,, for matters of the ehart

Original poster
bubblicious · 28/03/2007 20:20

Still very high, obviously hospital monitered all the way through and even being sedated the bottom number never went lower than 89. The consultant told the Nurse that he was going to write a strong letter to my GP's (the nurse told me, although saying that she did worry me slightly as everytime she took BP she pulled a face!

OP posts:
pansypants · 28/03/2007 20:10

speaking as one who takes part in these procedures YOU ARE TOLD TO REST FOR A REASON,,,,,,,,... GET OFF YUOR LEGS AND REST!

lecture over , how is your bp?

NoodleStroodle · 28/03/2007 20:10

Bubblicious - stop! If DH and DDs have to go to work/school in creased clothes it wont kill them but doing the ironing obviously isn't helping you. Say you are feeling unwell and GO TO BED and stay there! So there'll be havoc but your family need to realise that you HAVE to rest and infact they can manage for a few days without you. Sometimes it pays to be a bit of a drama queen to get your own way but if you don't look after yourself and rest you are helping no-one. Bed Now!

southeastastra · 28/03/2007 20:02

blimey poor you! rest! now! tell him to read this thread.