Men trying to encourage sex after just two dates. This cant be normal surely

Surely, a man can tell whether a woman wants to have sex with him. Like, having her hands all over his body would be a sign ... I think it is pretty clear from the post that OP was pressured. It is the men who have their hands all over her

Wait, so it's fine for a woman to put her hands all over a man to indicate she wants sex, but if a man does it then he's pressuring and coercing her into having sex? If a woman doesn't want to have sex, she can just say no. It's not that difficult!

I think it is pretty clear from the post that OP was pressured.

Sure, but I also think she was speaking generally, hence her OP. I don't think expecting sex is the same as pressuring someone for sex.

I would be expecting sex on date 2 onwards, in most cases. If I didn't, there wouldn't even be a second date. I would make my feelings clear (because I'm an adult), and no harm done if they weren't equally into it.

Sex has become a casual dating activity, like ice-skating, or picnics.

I have no issue with a guy indicating he might be up for a shag on the first or 50th date. If he's pushy about it and not taking no for an answer though that's an instant red card (no sex, no more dates).

Not clear exactly where these guys fall on that scale, but if it's the latter you've probably just been unlucky. Plenty of men out there still looking for relationships and willing to go at your speed.

There's nothing wrong with wanting sex. As long as they don't pressure you in any way, they're not doing anything wrong.

I think it is pretty clear from the post that OP was pressured.

It is the men who have their hands all over her, it is they who decide she should invite them in, et cetera.

Surely they know a woman who wants to have sex with them is fully capable of inviting them in on her own accord. Inviting yourself to someone else's house is bad manners, besides.

So, seems more like attempted coercion to me.

I think there is now a weird amalgamation of British and American culture which has led to some confusion.

When I lived in the US I would be dating various people at the same time, same as everyone else, but I wouldn't be having sex with any of them.

If I wanted to be in a relationship with someone then I would definitely not sleep with them until at least five dates (that's what worked for me, no problem with what anyone else does)

Now we seem to have a culture where it's fine to date and shag multiple partners.

This really isn't for me

I would be disappointed if someone didn't want to have sex in a first date.

I think it's not really about gender, it's just about how you feel about that person and about sex

It is not about gender identity but about biological sex.

I have had men pull some pretty nasty tricks on me to make me have sex with them, and no, I don't think women do this with the same frequency.

Also, if you have sex with a woman, ,you don't risk pregnancy. That is a bit different. (You also do not have the same risk of date rape)

All this talk of "signals" is very weird. My female friends regularly visit me at home, doesn't mean I want to have sex with them.
Of course, there is little to no risk that they'd try to rape me, so perhaps that is the difference here.

Surely, a man can tell whether a woman wants to have sex with him. Like, having her hands all over his body would be a sign.
Letting a man walk you home or enter you home is giving him an opportunity for rape, but it is not a sign you want to have sex.

Actually, I was shocked how common sleeping on the first date was in the UK compared to the US (and then starting a relationship as opposed to a one night stand where both people don't want a relationship). In the States, you have the 3 date rule to basically make it clear you want a relationship and not a one night stand.

Why are you assuming that you wouldn't want to have sex?

Have you never fancied someone so much you just wanted them there and then?

"The three date rule has been around for decades confused"

Eh? I thought that was in American TV programmes not real life. (I'm aware that some people sleep together straight away, but I don't think British dating has ever followed 'rules' like in the US).

Plenty of women AND men are up for sex by Date 2.

There's nothing wrong with wanting sex. As long as they don't pressure you in any way, they're not doing anything wrong.

Yeh this is how it was back when I was still dating. The problem for me wasn't the early sex, more the pressure they tried to exert, and a couple of times they'd disappear straight after.

Met DH 5 years ago. He was the first guy who didn't try to push it and we just seemed to be on the same wavelength. The sex progression felt natural with no pressure involved about 6 weeks after we met.

i think the issue more is that tons of guys will happily not want to date you again, but would be wanting sex anyway at the end of the date.

And you don't know that going into it, so its more of a case of "are you happy to have sex and know there is a 50/50 chance you will never see them again afterwards".

I would have slept with my partner the day I met him if circumstances had permitted. I did at the first opportunity.

Normal seems to be cockshots before even meeting!

In all honesty, I would have slept with DP on the second date - the only thing that stopped me was that I was living with a housemate! We slept together on the third date. We're both women. I think it's not really about gender, it's just about how you feel about that person and about sex. If you're not keen on sex on the second date, that is totally fine - but I don't think it's strange that some men you date would like the idea.

This was pretty much the way it was back when I was a young lady in the 90s, as I recall.

In my experience, men are generally up for sex if they're on a date. Twas ever thus.

Another who had sex with DH on the night we first time met (at a party) - 10 days later we were living together (and have been now for 34 years) - its entirely your choice (as it was mine) when you want to have sex with someone. Like others I always liked to have sex early on in a relationship - i.e. hours of initial attraction - if the sex is no good then you can dump them quickly - and at least got a shag and hopefully a good licking! Thinking that might not be your POV - fair enough - horses for course or whatever!

If you are wanting to wait I think you need to make this clear when you are talking before the date.

Really..? Why would you do that?

It is up to you.

Your OP is a bit confusing though. If you won't even get in a car with a guy you've seen twice then how come they are grabbing you in the car at the end of the second date when they are dropping you home?

Or kissing you on the doorstep at the end of the first date?

I don't think it is a good idea to even allow someone to know where you live if you hardly know them.

It has always been like this since the dawn of time.... that does not mean you have to agree. Also always meet in a public place and do not get in cars until you know all about each other.

I would not let people walk you home in most areas in cities to be honest as that might increase expectations.

It's traditionally on the third date so doing it on the second instead doesn't exactly herald a collapse of western civilisation

Letting someone walk you home is a sign?

I've started dating 30 years ago, and it's been ever thus. I have loose morals though.