Men trying to encourage sex after just two dates. This cant be normal surely

My post was responding to the troll who has been deleted

And I don't care that this thread is old. Why does it matter if it's interesting?

I am old and long-married but it made me laugh to hear you say this is what "traditionally" happens like it's from a Jane Austen novel

FUCK OFF ZOMBIE

Men like women who want sex. They just don't want women who will shag a man they barely know

And yet my dh did and we've been together 27 years.

"but would you really want a ltr with a man with so little respect for a woman that he'd dump her for doing the same thing he just did? "

Why would you want a relationship with a man who'd dump someone for not putting out?

I cant say im in a rush..

would you really want a ltr with a man with so little respect for a woman that he'd dump her for doing the same thing he just did? I'd say it's a very good way of weeeding out the arse holes and you get laid. How is that not win win?
It works for me. I wouldn't want a relationship with a man who thought less of me for doing something he was an equal part in! I'd consider it a very good way of weeding out the misogynists before forming an emotional attachment to be honest.

cheese I think you are being ridiculous with your 'epiphany'

I also think you need to understand there is a difference between not wanting something and not doing it.

OP, I see the whole dating thing as confusing and sad - it's all just so weird. Give me old fashioned dating any day! Not that I've even tried dating but reading the stuff that comes up on MN I think I'll happily stay single and celebate for life

CheeseBubbles It's not win-win, because if you're the sort of person who sees sex as something emotional as well as physical, you'll feel like shit when the other person buggers off. It is never a good idea sleeping with someone unless you 1) know them enough to believe they'll hang around the next day or 2) you don't actually care. Some of us would care and by waiting until we know the other person longer, we're protecting our own mental health.

It's not wrong to sleep with someone after 6 days or 6 months. It's wrong though to assume your way is the only way and to make the other person uncomfortable. Unfortunately, due to the three-date expectation that seems to have ingrained itself in the dating scene, there is a lot of pressure.

Apart from anything else, sex should be fun. When the other person acts entitled, the fun disappears.

Cheese - yes there is hypocrisy involved in that sense. But I wanted more than just sex with him so I wasn't going to put myself in a position where that was an option, until I could assess how he actually felt and if I could trust him to not bugger off.
Also my grandmother was a big character and influence for me growing up and she always said if you let men take what they want then they will, so that always stuck with me.

Well, I maintain that you can fancy someone without wanting to DTD right there and then. You can be in a relationship with someone you fancy, but not DTD every day.

Of course you can! But on the other hand it does point out from th start what is likely a mismatched sex drive

Not that he would have done in retrospect, but how can you tell that if you've

You can't tell, but would you really want a ltr with a man with so little respect for a woman that he'd dump her for doing the same thing he just did?

I'd say it's a very good way of weeeding out the arse holes and you get laid. How is that not win win?

""Fancying" someone is pure animal lust for me I'm afraid and that might mean I'd want it that night, yes."

Well, I maintain that you can fancy someone without wanting to DTD right there and then. You can be in a relationship with someone you fancy, but not DTD every day.

"It's not so odd, but it's not for me and would be a waste of my time as I have zero interest in 'courting'. The point of online dating is that you can say upfront and hat you're interested in and not interested in. "

But you're not telling those who want to have sex straight away to put it in their profile, only those who want to wait so you are singling out those who want to wait as not being the norm.

Funny I've gone off casual sex as I've become older.

I don't really enjoy it anymore. I want to feel like I know someone before I have them in me.

Even if I really really facncy them it's just not the same as if I know them a little more.

Well I didn't want to risk him treating it like a one night stand and that would be it. Not that he would have done in retrospect, but how can you tell that if you've just met someone?

What would you 'risk' limone?

When I met DH I can honestly say I've never been more attracted to someone in my life, but it was because of this that I was not about to risk anything by jumping into bed with him after the first couple of dates. I kind of sensed he wouldn't have expected that of me, tbh anyway. So I just didn't invite him into my flat. It wasn't because I was playing games - I just knew what would happen if he did come in. This went on for about a month, so not that long actually, though we were seeing each other a lot during that time. When he used to drop me off, I just said I hope you don't mind if I don't ask you in and he didn't seem put out at all. He was fine.
Then he proposed after 6 months and that was that. This was 15 years ago though.

I've just had an epiphany.

All those men on the relationship boards moaning about the lack of sex in their marriage and how their wives won't put out..

It's probably a total coincidence and completely unrelated to the fact they would only date women who would t have sex with them in the first place. Because the women with higher sex drives were 'not marriage material'

User, that's fine. But forthum has had one night stands. So it is a double standard. They're ok for him just not 'his woman. '