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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want a shag?

61 replies

Cackleberry4 · 28/05/2017 19:37

I am in a warm, loving, affectionate and sexless marriage.

I cannot recall the last time we DTD, three plus years at least.

He doesn't even wake up with morning glory any longer! I am not overly desperate for sex but I am mildly concerned that he isn't even starting the day standing to attention.

I've tried talking to him but he brushes it to oneside.

I simply don't know how to get him to find out where his sex drive has gone!

OP posts:
mylittlephoney · 28/05/2017 20:32

Could he have a problem getting it up? Maybe he's embarrassed and can't talk. Don't LTB what a sweeping generalization. You work at a marriage untill all avenues are crossed before you give up.
It's probably medical. Sorry your going through this. I hope you get some answers soon.

scaryclown · 28/05/2017 20:29

That's shit, and unsustainable. Do you initiate? Do you watch porn together/talk about porn? What else is going on?

Crunchymum · 28/05/2017 20:26

Is LTB really that offensive to you OP?

Your DH doesn't want sex, won't discuss it (and therefore I assume won't seek any help), he doesn't seem to appreciate or care how much of a problem this is for you.

LTB wouldn't be my default suggestion, but you do need to draw your battle lines. What if sex is never on the cards again?

FanaticalFox · 28/05/2017 20:24

Hmm strong reactions! Sorry but after this long with no proactive response from him to address the issue i probably would leave but then maybe I have a high sex drive so sex in my marriage is very important to me. Its obviously not as important to you as your reaction suggests (and the length of time you've gone without and you're still happily married) good luck to you hope you get it sorted to whatever outcome you're looking for.

Run4Fun · 28/05/2017 20:06

X post with Op. Glad you sent Fox's suggestion to the bin!

Run4Fun · 28/05/2017 20:04

Encourage him to go to see his GP. It is a very common complaint that sometimes can be resolved if the underlying problem is discovered. Ltb would be a last resort if all else fails imo.

Original poster
Cackleberry4 · 28/05/2017 20:03

Fuck off Fox!!

Oh, Shatner that isn't good. We are happy in every other way but sex has slippped out of sight.

OP posts:
missyB1 · 28/05/2017 20:00

You need to make him aware how this is affecting you and therefore how it will affect the relationship. He can't keep pretending it's not an issue- and neither can you.
I would be asking him to come to counselling with you.

FanaticalFox · 28/05/2017 19:56

LTB. if he won't even address the issue then hes obviously not that bothered about your feelings.

ShastaBeast · 28/05/2017 19:54

YANBU but if he won't talk you can't resolve the issue. Does he know how you feel? Three years is a long time. Is it linked to his age? How was it beforehand?

ShatnersWig · 28/05/2017 19:53

I've been single 7 years, haven't had a shag for 6.5 years. Prior to that I was in a sexless relationship which I eventually left.

I'm now 43. I've had sex three times in the last 12 years. I'm thinking I might never have sex again. Makes me sad.

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