To want a shag?

I've tried talking to him but he brushes it to oneside.

You need to sit him down and spell it out in big letters, illustrate to him very clearly that you are not happy. Force him to listen and don't allow him to brush your concerns aside.

If he continues to ignore well then maybe your marriage isn't as warm and affectionate as you think.

best to walk away

Ah so you're taking fox s advice after all?!

Poor Fox!

Yanbu.

I'm in the same boat.

I think the OP is more looking to work with her husband to find a solution and is looking for help in how to get his co operation rather than part exchanging him for a different model.

Repair rather than replace!

You're doing the same as your husband now. It's ok to not have sex if you both agree and are happy with that. But you posted this thread so, that's clearly not where you're at.

I simply don't know how to get him to find out where his sex drive has gone!

You can't make him do anything if he won't talk to you. THIS is your problem. A marriage is about love, companionship AND communication.

Seeing as it doesn't seem to be important to him, would your husband be bothered if you had sex with someone else? Would you want to have sex with someone else?

Your question was 'am I being unreasonable to want a shag?'. The answers have stated no, you are not being unreasonable. Some responses were strongly worded, but that was the gist. Why ask, if you don't want answers?? I'm confused. Totally confused

If he won't talk to you about sex and isn't concerned about your concern , then he lacks compassion / love.

Or at least he puts his own feelings before yours.

LTB????

Only if you can't get it sorted and sex is important enough to you to want to find it elsewhere. I'm assuming it is important to you - or why start an AIBU thread?

Why are the responses odd

Oh come on OP, you know what AIBU is like. Maybe move it to relationships or sex thread.

Your husband is being U for dismissing the problem. It's no good him burying his head in the sand. You'll have to explain how unhappy it's making you.

Fox's LTB was clearly driven not by lack of sex per se but by fact he won't talk to you - latter clearly suggesting he's not that fussed how you feel. That would be a massive issue for me but if it's not for you then heh, fill or otherwise your boots!

Sole practical input from me is is he on medication of any kind? SSRIs specifically can cause a total loss of interest in sex.

And no, YANBU for wanting a shag! Tho YABVVVU to post on a forum and then be abusive to someone who says something you don't like. HTH

No need to take your sexual frustration out on fox

Fucking hell, don't start a thread if you can't take other opinions. Didn't see anything wrong with Fox comment. They were just addressing that maybe, he doesn't care. Which is looking quite high if he can't even talk to you about anything.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds the "LTB" response really annoying.

The rest of Fox's reply was fair though.

A relationship isn't healthy if you can't discuss your problems. He needs to see his GP. Something simple like zinc supplements can help.

Men don't wake up with a hard on every day!

It isn't normal though but like many couples you are probably better friends than lovers. Once the spark goes it's hard to get it back

fox's comments may have been extreme but there is some truth in them.

It's ok to not want sex and it's ok to want sex It's not ok to not care about eachothers feelings and talk about things and be so u caring about the effect it's having on the other person .

He should go to the Dr it's possible there's a problem.

Can't offer advice on your relationship issues. But if sex is what you're after I can.... Go to a swingers club. Very liberating.

Your reply to Fox was really unkind. You're asking for advice - you don't have to like or agree with all the advice given but there's absolutely no need to be abusive.

Yanbu for wanting a decent sex life. Yabu assuming morning wood is daily for men!

Your reply was a bit harsh to Fox.
If you don't like possible replies. Will the greatest respect. Perhaps don't start a thread. If you're that sensitive.
Of course you're not being unreasonable to want a shag. I'll hold my hands I couldn't stay in a sexless relationship. However I can't tell you to LTB. I'll get growled at.

I'm with Fox. I'm sorry but I couldn't live without sex. Especially if he doesn't care.

If you're not happy and he won't even discuss his unwillingness to sort it out then I wouldn't stay with him