To want a shag?

I'm 60 my partner dosnt want sex no more since her menopause now I'm desperate for some relief I just want to feel a warm naked women next to my skin to kiss hold and sexually explore each other

This thread is over a year old everyone

Sorry, Fox is right. If he won’t talk to you, he is effectively happy with your unhappiness with the situation as long as you’re not making him deal with it.
I was in this relationship - now we’re separated. Dh refuses to talk about it, ever, it was like pulling teeth.
Having sex and feeling wanted again is life changing.

Won't he even touch you? He could give you a helping hand... Doesnt have to be PIV. But yanbu

try shaghunt , yes it really does exsist

And as a failure to get an erection can be linked to serious health problems, she is right to be concerned and he is burying his head in the sand and not wanting to confront it. This does not need to have anything to do with how much he loves his dw.

The OP said she was not overly desperate for sex. She is concerned for her dh, not desperate for a shag! You don't ltb because you are mildly concerned for him!

What naze said.

Are you sure it's warm and affectionate? Or is it just pleasant and functional?

*engage in CONVERSATION just to be clear!

Thanks for mostly your positive responses to my post. LTB wasnt really saying he's a bastard, its just an expression on mumsnet to say leave him, so don't look too much into the bastard bit i wasnt trying to be offensive! BUT my response was NOT because he isn't having sex but because of his lack of wanting to discuss and address the issue! Totally different and in my view fair, if he doesn't want to discuss and its a problem for the OP then it obviously isn't a fully loving warm marriage - my DH would be upset and want to do what he can to fix things if i was upset about a part of our marriage and vice versa. Thats what i meant by LTB because if my husband wasnt willing to engage and it had been years without sex and i was unhappy then eventually i would leave. If you're not having sex and you're ok with that then fine dont leave - but then you wouldnt start a thread looking for advice and saying you want a shag.

To be honest, the 'fuck off fox" was a fair enough response. She had already said she was happy in her marriage apart from one thing. To get a LTB with no further exploration of the issue is just ridiculous.

He's a human being not a washing machine to be replaced when it has a small fault.

If you bothered to read the OP's post properly, you would see why she was angry to be told to LTB. You do not leave an otherwise loving, affectionate marriage because you are mildly concerned about the reasons for a partner's loss of libido, ffs.

The reason could be attitude related. If you are as rude to him as you were to fox on here, I can understand why.

He's either getting it elsewhere or needs medical help

Nope, it suggests fear to me, not lack of warmth. You don't have an otherwise loving, affectionate relationship with someone who lacks "warmth."

I genuinely don't get posters who start threads in AIBU and then get all snappy and rude when some people offer opinions or advice which they don't like. It's a public and anonymous forum and therefore as people aren't invested in the OP they can be honest, even if that does hurt feelings.

OP, I doubt we will see you again, but although the lack of sex is something which some couples experience, the brushing it aside would be the biggest worry for me. That would suggest that not all is as "warm and loving" as you say.

I think you sound a bit aggressive tbh. Perhaps he's picking up on elements of that? Could be why he doesn't 'start the day standing to attention' - hint: he's a person, not GI Joe.

YY Squoosh fair point but it has created a sweetshop mentality and i want no part of it even if i was single.

im much better off as i am than on a dating scene where shaving off pubic hair, anal and multi dating (horrible American import) is the norm.

Plenty of people on the dating scene who have full bush and no anal!

Its been 21 years since DH and i had a physical relationship. Hes never been in the best of health and he had a big heart attack in 2006 which has left him with permanent health issues. Hes not a huggy person so there is none of that either. Im ok with it most of the time but feeling a bit wistful at the moment. The feelings i have about it sort of come and go in peaks and troughs.

I did have a 4 year affair after seven years of no physical contact.

But DH has my back in lots of other ways.

i know i will be ok. Reading some of the threads about dating on the Relationships board have been a real help. As a reminder that im much better off as i am than on a dating scene where shaving off pubic hair, anal and multi dating (horrible American import) is the norm.

He may be frightened of the possible reasons - eg increased risk of heart attack or stroke in men who develop erectile dysfunction.

Viagra may be helpful . I think sometimes men just lose the hard on ability and it becomes a huge issue in there head that makes sex a big no no .
It can be solved if talked about

Some really odd responses. I think it is best I walk awy.

Sounds like you and DH are both comfortable with heads firmly in the sand!