To be utterly disgusted and depressed that women think its ok to make small penis gags?

Ok, I've spent the day doing other stuff, so the thread has moved on, but MerchantofVenice I just wanted to answer your post of 09.42 before I read through the rest of the thread.

I think you are coming at this as a long time poster with prior knowledge of people's views on a given subject. On the great scale of things, I'm relatively new. I've been here a few years, with a few names, but I tend to stick to the fluffy stuff as I don't really have much confidence in my debating abilities or intelligence. Therefore, I have no particular pre-conceptions about a specific poster, and I also feel that just because someone feels a certain way about one subject doesn't mean their views have to be vilified on every other subject.

I don't like being told that because I have slightly opposing views to yours on one topic, that none of my other views are worth reading. I'm feeling a slightly nasty undercurrent of very intelligent radfem women who think that everyone else is just too thick to be allowed an opinion.

You know that old saying "you get more flies with honey than vinegar"? Maybe if you accepted that I , and people like me, didn't have some weird hidden agenda, you could educate us without belittling us (that's generic you, not a personal insult).

Actually, OverthinkingSpartacus, I do and have objected to "grow a pair"- partrly because it is often used to shame men into doing things which are against their better judgement, and partly because it suggests that women need to be more masculine to be assertive and take control. The same applies to "man up". Which I actually got banned from our Scout troop. [proud emoticon]

I do hope, by the way, in passing, that anyone objecting so strongly to "handmaiden" is equally outraged by "feminazi".........

Actually I'm not telling you what you think, but I can read. You only came on this thread because of the handmaiden comment, and rereading your posts, it is clear that this is your primary concern and not any point made by the OP or subsequent posters. Go reread your own posts.

Maybe not use it ? It really doesn't add anything to the argument."

I didn't

I never said you did .It was a general suggestion.

I don't particularly get enraged by "cis" but many posters do, so I avoid using it.

I'm not playing the feminist. I have opinions on subjects and I don't particularly need to call them feminist or not.

You are the one who calls herself a feminist yet are defending language which if used by a man would be criticised as sexist and also telling another woman what she thinks- the latter of course would be called out as unacceptable if done by a man.

"So when somebody said "wtf's a handmaiden?" I should have said "well. I could tell you, but because there aren't any on this thread I can't"?

Maybe not use it ? It really doesn't add anything to the argument."

I didn't.

And I don't think you give a fuck about the OP's point, it's all about the H

My goodness. Could you find a better example of double standards? Not only are you lecturing me on what is or isn't a joke but you now know what I'm really thinking. If you were a man both perfect examples of telling a woman that he knows better.

Actually I think this thread has proven that it is an extremely useful term which I will certainly use again when circumstances call for it

Any credibility you might have had was lost by wading with "handmaiden" - Says you. Good for you. I don't agree. I get that you detest that term. Tough. Amazing as it might seem, I don't post to impress you or increase my credibility with you.

And I don't think you give a fuck about the OP's point, it's all about the H.

So when somebody said "wtf's a handmaiden?" I should have said "well. I could tell you, but because there aren't any on this thread I can't"?

Maybe not use it ? It really doesn't add anything to the argument.

It's a bit like "cis". I don't like "cis". I never use it on here unless in rare circumstances I am directly quoting from someone.

I assume the defenders of "handmaiden" really hate "cis".

Any credibility you might have had was lost by wading with "handmaiden" . I detest that term. It is lazy and over used.

The continued defence of it does nothing to add to its credibility especially when bolstered by the "only joking" comments.

The OP had a fair point. There was a long thread on MN which ran for pages consisting of little other than laughing at odd shaped penises. There are other threads where such comments pass unremarke.There are plenty of threads about the iniquity and damage body shaming does to women. This thread was not about the latter topic but some posters seemed determined the actual topic could not be discussed unless it became about women too.

So when somebody said "wtf's a handmaiden?" I should have said "well. I could tell you, but because there aren't any on this thread I can't"?

Oh please op men say horrible things about women's bodies all the time.

Selective fucking reading

Itsmine- somebody asked what "handmaiden" meant. I explained.

Do you think there are no women who fit this description?

And do you think that to be a feminist you have to agree with what all other women say?

And Lass
Do you actually give a fuck about the OP point? Seems to me that weighed in because of the handmaiden thing, I get you don't like that term, fair enough. I reread the thread no, I don't regret my first post, as there were very many handmaiden posts ignoring the mistreatment of women, for example, being called an ugly cunt

"That is completely different. Nobody actually has an ugly cunt. It's just horrible name calling. Lots of men/boys do have a small penis. How do you think they feel?"

• If this is not handmaiden behaviour, I don't know what is. And there are plenty more examples early in the thread before I said the big "H" and the thread became all about that. That's funny, eh?

"Isn't that exactly the sort of defence sexist and misogynistic men make?"

Merchant claiming it was a joke is exactly the same as saying " can't you take a joke luv?" Banter and all that.

Up to you and Merchant whether you want to see that or not.

"Isn't that exactly the sort of defence sexist and misogynistic men make?"

Really, you have descended to this? I guess you are willing to win an argument by any means. Would have expected better from you Lass but hey ho

I hear "Grow a pair", usually when someone is hesitant or reluctant to do something, or even scared, used as an insult way way way more by both sexes to both sexes, if I started a thread asking people to stop because it will be upsetting to men who don't have both or any testicles as it implies they are not real men, if I asked people to call out women and men who use it I do genuinely think Id have different responses.

I'm not saying body insults are not horrible, they are, I'm just thinking as I read that I've never seen anyone be annoyed or challenge anyone for the other common male genital insult of grow a pair

To be totally effective then men must stop using it against each other as an insult too if it's to stop, so maybe we should be asking our partners, brother, fathers etc to think of men with micro penis and no testicles and not use the terms themselves and also to call out their mates and other people when they hear it. There's no point in just asking women to stop using it and to call other people out if we're not going to ask men to do it too.