To be utterly disgusted and depressed that women think its ok to make small penis gags?

Worra

You really come to life on these threads don't you?!

What was it again. Something about having sons?

For what it's worth, body shaming is always unacceptable. Your almost wilful blind spot though, when any discussion touches on feminism/women's issues in general really grinds my fucking gears.

Ok, I am going to backpedal a bit.

Only because I think there are two different discussions getting all mashed together.

If you did read the thread the OP mentioned, I doubt you'd be that upset for the guy. He was a pig (no offence intended to pigs). As far as we know, he didn't actually have a small dick, or any kind of disability. He was a sexist who thought his assessment of female bodies was important. So, to hit him where it hurt seemed sort of ok - especially because he was slagging off his own wife's body. Sort of ok. [I realise 'sort of' is not a convincing term here.]

In general, no, the shaming of body parts, on any grounds, is shit. Women know how it feels so they should not perpetuate it. Agreed. And I am willing to concede that the aforementioned situation, although it contained an asshat who deserved it, does not help the cause.

So, I am sorry on those grounds.

But may I make one final point... (Hint: I'm gonna)

We have had pages of hand-wringing over one hypothetical instance in which a man might have been insulted in this way. Do you think the men are doing this? Do you think they see one suggestion that a man should tell a girl 'well, you're fat anyway' and they all spend hours worrying and arguing about it? Do they BOLLOCKS.

Now, I know this doesn't make it right, and we all have to rise above it and shit, and set the example, and never ever get just a little urge to shout 'Oh just fuck off you small-dicked PILLOCK' when we've been catcalled or felt up or intimidated just one too many times - because we are trying to set an example and be perfect... because if we get it wrong we are FEMINAZIS who deserve nothing but contempt.

But we're not winning, ladies. We're really not.

"Well we can't comment on every single post can we? I tend to respond to the ones I disagree with or interest me, as do most people."
Yeah. Course you do! Periah the thought that you might respond to anything that challenges your rigid mindset.....

meek the disgusting text was he didn't think she was good in bed. Guess what, he doesn't have too think she's good in bed. Doesn't warrant the small dick responses!

Come on, KungFu, that makes it sounds as if it is OK to text people to tell them we think they are shit in bed. It's not and he was completely out of order.

I agree that it is not nice to use the small penis insult, but it's not very different to the rhetoric of 'big boobs' or 'pert boobs' that makes women massively insecure if they haven't got that. Lots of lovely women and girls with smaller breasts will feel upset when they hear guys say 'she's got to have nice tits for me to date her' and when they hear jokes about how padded bras are false advertising etc etc etc. All jokes told by men on a frequent basis.

But personally, I would never put someone down for penis-size. It's something they cannot help and it's horrible to insult someone's body like that.

YANBU

Hmm. Bit like men saying women are dumb blondes to 'cut them down to size'. Putting people down via sexist physical insults is never something intelligent people do.

Well, it's a bit like that, yes - but not a lot like that. In this type of situation (and I am, yes, doggedly referring to the case the OP mentioned, since that is the only documented instance we have on MNetters being a load of penis shamers), the balance of power resides firmly with the guy who is busy enjoying his male privilege and ranking women according to their ability to shed baby weight.... so, erm, not that much like the dumb blonde trope.

didn't read the thread in question. But I think using a disability to insult some is wrong, even if the person hasn't got that disability and even if the insult is private and those with the disability don't get to hear about it.

Fair enough if you didn't read the thread in question. All I'd say here is that having a dick that is on the smaller side isn't, as far as I know, a disability... (Is it?) If it is, then I'm with you on this point.

And where did I do that? You referred to a "certain vibe" which appears. I merely pointed out the equally nasty and misogynistic vibe which often appears in the "handmaiden " put down.

Your explanation of your orgasm comment as an equal opportunities is noted although I still think it is no better than , as someone pointed out accusing posters of "frothing" or " being hysterical"

Ok - I don't know why you keep quoting me, Lass if you're not specifically disagreeing with stuff I personally have said. Haven't said 'handmaiden', haven't said 'froth'... By all means, take issue with those words, just not with me!?

YANBU at all OP.

All those who make such comments are thoughtless and spiteful. That is all.

I agree op, it's really not on.

As an aside I had one of the most orgasmic nights of my life with a man who had a micro penis. One night stand in a European city - someone I met online in the early days of the Internet. I was very surprised at the unveiling - but omg what a night. Whew!

Well I just feel very sorry for the boys/men like the ops son who have to live with the consequences of this type of insult, just as I feel very sorry for girls/women such as my niece who is growing up feeling very insecure and unconfident because of the comments about her flat chest.
The op raised the subject because it's close to home for her. Just because she raised the subject in general didn't make it a feminist issue. I suspect that each and every comment re penis insults she read on that particular thread cut a little deeper on behalf of her ds who has to live with the consequences of comments such as this on his self esteem.
Well done valentine who, due to this thread, has realised the impact that throw away insults can have on actual people with those physical traits. Whilst it is a perceived insult to many men, it is an actual insult to those with a small penis. Just as throw away insults affect some women more than others if it they relate it to themselves.

Firstly, I have never used the term handmaiden in any MN discussion. So you can't lay that at my door, sorry

And where did I do that? You referred to a "certain vibe" which appears. I merely pointed out the equally nasty and misogynistic vibe which often appears in the "handmaiden " put down.

Your explanation of your orgasm comment as an equal opportunities is noted although I still think it is no better than , as someone pointed out accusing posters of "frothing" or " being hysterical"

I didn't read the thread in question. But I think using a disability to insult some is wrong, even if the person hasn't got that disability and even if the insult is private and those with the disability don't get to hear about it.

It's as wrong to say someone has a micro penis as to call someone a spastic.

Feminism is a red herring in all of this.

Oh - regards the 'mongie' comment (wtf?) - I don't think that's a decent analogy.

The small dick comment (whilst, let me reiterate, unacceptable) is usually an attempt to undermine a macho attitude - to sort of 'cut someone down to size'. It has relevance, even if it's an unacceptable comment.

'Mongie' or 'retard' is just plain wrong, in every context. No extenuating circumstances. Ever.

It's not the size of the vessel that matters it's the motion in the ocean

Why was it ok? Would it be ok if she had retaliated by calling him a retard or a mongie instead?

It was only 'sort of' ok - say, if they woman in question had emailed it to the asshat in question. So there he'd be, thinking he's god's gift etc, firing off emails to women in which he reveals his arrogance about the status of his opinion... lo and behold, he gets a serious put-down in return. Private email - so all the other men don't get to see and consequently worry - but he sees that she regards his attraction to her, and therefore his dick-centric thinking - as small and insignificant. And no other men are harmed

But, yes, as a general insult, bandied around willy-nilly (as it were), it's not ok.

A bit like the certain vibe that thinks shouting "handmaiden" is a trump card to undermine another view point.

Your "orgasm" comment was much the same , although you now seem to be back pedalling on it.

This is unfair.

Firstly, I have never used the term handmaiden in any MN discussion. So you can't lay that at my door, sorry.

Secondly, I am very much NOT backpedalling on the orgasm comment. I'll explain again, since you missed it. There is a certain kind of individual (in life - possibly on this thread, but not obviously so) who just revels in/jumps for joy/has noisy orgasms every time they think they have cleverly undermined or caught out feminists. Most often (for obvious reasons) men. Sometimes women. The sex of the orgasmer is totally irrelevant. It's the sentiment I'm taking issue with.

I did suggest that it might be kind of understandable in the case of the asshat who send that poisonous email to his wife's friend. Not morally commendable... but sort of ok.

Why was it ok? Would it be ok if she had retaliated by calling him a retard or a mongie instead?

In my wild youth I encountered many penises and very very small penises seemed more common than you'd think. The owners of them were universally the ones who were critical and mean about my body. Even as a young woman I knew it was projection.

I did suggest that it might be kind of understandable in the case of the asshat who send that poisonous email to his wife's friend. Not morally commendable... but sort of ok.

But my argument is that it's not only that asshat that will absorb that insult. It's the "nice men" that you know with a small penis that will be affected much more badly by that message to the asshat - therefore it sort of isn't ok.

I was just referring to a certain vibe that I don't like... the desperate need to hunt out potentially unfair behaviour from women on grounds of sex, blow it wildly out of proportion, and use it to try and undermine feminism as a whole

A bit like the certain vibe that thinks shouting "handmaiden" is a trump card to undermine another view point.

Your "orgasm" comment was much the same , although you now seem to be back pedalling on it.

you seem very measured merchant

Yessssss!!

There's a first time for everything, I guess

Whilst I agree. I also have to say that vaginas aren't exactly pretty to look at either.