To be utterly disgusted and depressed that women think its ok to make small penis gags?

Fair enough. I promise never to say anything about a man's penis size ever again. And I will call out anyone I hear doing it.

Now I know what it means, I find the term "handmaiden" insulting. Am I allowed to feel like that? The term was hurled into this thread to try and shut down discussion. Giving those of us who aren't hardcore radfems a cutesy little name won't make us go away. It will just make us think that if you are reduced to insulting us, then you probably don't have anything very interesting to say anyway.

I will challenge inequality anywhere I see it. I will not be shouted down and talked over just because I don't think that all men are abusers. Bertrand and Merchant I accept that neither of you have said this, but there are at least two posters on this thread who seem to think that.

MercyMyJewels said
How about fighting for women who are abused all the time rather than for men who seemingly wouldn't be able to cope with charges of mini dick.

Another poster said
Women's intimate body parts are always spoken about in a derogatory way by men.

Using absolutist statements and hyperbole is not the way to get people to listen to what you are saying. Every woman is not abused all the time. Every man does not talk about womens' bodies all the time. So when I read stuff like this, I just think it is not meant to encourage discussion, it is meant to shut other women up, which is surely the total antithesis of what feminists should be doing.

"When you know and I know that in this context it was used to insult those who said the obvious, that saying someone has a micro dick is just as shit as using sexual insults on women."

Well, if it was, then I have, for the first time, been called a "handmaiden"!

My understanding was that it was used to describe posters who said that body shaming is just as frequent and serious an issue for men as it is for women. Which it isn't.

I'm not sure why you say it's a mysogenist expression, by the way. Could you explain?

I agree with OP. It is demeaning to the women who make those jokes and adds to the despair of every young boy who is worrying himself sick about his body. Many of us have boys. The suicide rate for boys is high. Fear of sexual inadequacy are a contributor to mental health issues. We know that.

And this is also why the op posted - in answer to what the op wanted to get out of this thread.

I think everyone on this thread agrees that body shaming is wrong.

What do we do next?

I think the op wanted people to stop referencing penis size as an insult. Rather to use a more appropriate insult if you need a comeback that actually is relevant and personalised.
I think this sums up her views perfectly.

Im with pp who think it doesn't work as an insult - I mean, most guys already know the size of their cock, or they know you don't know the size of their cock, or they know you've never complained before. It's not going to hurt them, but yes, the stigma will hurt others.

Because it is the stigma affecting her son that she's upset about.

And

But saying 'small penis' as an insult to men who most likely have average (or even large) penises wouldn't upset them.

It won't upset the person it's aimed at but every time her son hears it, it will upset him.

Use appropriate insults if necessary that's what the op wants out of this thread I would imagine. She's not saying arseholes shouldn't be put down but think about better ways of insulting them.

I agree with OP. It is demeaning to the women who make those jokes and adds to the despair of every young boy who is worrying himself sick about his body.

Many of us have boys. The suicide rate for boys is high. Fear of sexual inadequacy are a contributor to mental health issues. We know that.

It is not something I will be part of.

Ha ha - I suspect what some people want, Betrand is for women to admit they're always wrong, and to spend their lives perpetually apologising in case they've ever slighted a penis!

One person used the word "handmaiden" once.

And suddenly that's what the thread is about?

Soeveral people have defined the term (because a poster asked) but nobody is addressing or discussing the definitions offered-even to disagree with them.

Practically everyone has said that body shaming is wrong. But that doesn't seem to be enough. I'm not sure what people want out of this thread. OP, if you're around, what were you hoping for when you posted?

itsmine I don't understand your last point... you seem to be saying that people are using 'handmaiden' as a misogynistic put-down?? How can that be?

But men aren't bombarded everyday with images of what a fantastic penis should look like.
All I see in magazines are women with size 8 bodies with comments like get a body like this or advertising a new fad diet because of course anyone can get down to a size 8 if they try.
Men dont get these images in there face everyday .
And of course if you have small boobs go and get a boob job.....another thing many women feel condemned to have as society has a certain image of how a woman should look.
Penis size is not magnified by society the same way womens body issues are.

"Bert you can really dish it but seem unable to take it

Shatner 🙄 neither did I refer to 'all' men. Grow up.

But saying 'small penis' as an insult to men who most likely have average (or even large) penises wouldn't upset them.

On the contrary they'll be like, ha, well, I've got it.

As others have said, context is everything. Occasionally, if a man is a misogynistic arsehole, it's not that bad to repay him in the same currency.

I can't, of course, ever say it's right to insult anyone. But who can say they'd never ever do so, in extremis??

The problem that some of us are having is the desperate need to spring to the defence of men in this specfic way, even when the thread in question does contain a man being awful. It's weird... and I can totally understand where the cries of 'handmaiden' come from here. Some women just cannot wait to defend men to sort of prove a point. And the same women won't stand up for their own sex in many cases.

"It just confirms your woefully small minded, blinkered thinking really."

Good Lord!

You really aren't interested in any sort of discussion, are you! .

It is awful to insult anyone on the basis of something they can't change. But it's surely not wrong to have preference? Some women would not continue to date a man who had a small manhood, but to other women, it would not matter. Some men prefer smaller breasts, others bigger. I have had a lot of unwarranted comments about my bra size and spent most of my younger years, wearing baggy jumpers, slouching, etc.

It's not nice for anyone to feel inadequate. But these days, everything is about bigger (shame).

It's been deleted now, think it understandably got a bit heated!

It wasn't very good tbh!

Insults needs to be personalized to be properly effective.

Basically, insults are never the ideal, are they? But if you're that angry about a man being vile and misogynistic, and you're going to lash out, is going for a small cock insult any worse than saying he's stupid etc? What about the stigma for people who really are stupid??

In an ideal world, we'd all be super calm and very above insults of any kind...

Yeah, gahbuggerit, that thread sounds like a corker!