my sons girlfriend lives with us how much rent should I charge?

Hi I currently stay with my partner and his mums house I get paid every 2 weeks , when payday I pay her £60 which is £120 per month to stay there , sometimes she expects more ? I think this is a lot I don’t eat that much food and I bathe and do my laundry at home ? How much should I give her ?

My parents charged me and partner £80 a month, as we were saving up for a house and on a low wage. When my partner moved out (to his dad's) for a job, I continued to pay this amount by myself, as I had an increased wage, but was still saving. I now own a house with my partner.

If I hadn't been saving, they would have charged me a larger percentage of my wage. Get your son paying his way too!

I think youre being unreasonable to think your children can't pay their way.

Regardless, full time education or not, you'd still have to pay rent! It's not free to house someone and pay their bills.

Why is he special? Why are you accepting money from his partner and not him??? So it costs to keep her warm and clean but not your son?

As soon as I left school I paid board. When I was in college I paid my way, as soon as I had an income. I could understand if they were In uni to be a vet or doctor and couldn't fit a job in, but they have maintenance loans for that!

You're being screwed over. Tell them all to pay or no one pays.

upperlimit lol

Is ds2 jealous of ds1 and not understanding of his illness . So he sees him not paying and wants to be the same?

I woulf tell them that they both need to pay £xx (reasonable room rate in your area) or find somewhere to rent privately. It is not your son (or his girlfriend's decision) what they pay. You should also draw up a rota for housework etc or else increase what you charge them to cover a cleaner.

Tbf, the OP might be busy.

No Matilda, this drives me mad too, you are not alone in your frustration.

Am I alone in being bored of threads where the OP never comes back to answer any of the very sensible questions or points made? There was another one yesterday.

OP, where are you? If you are working consider starting threads when you are free to reply?

Your son needs to pay digs too. Are they working? If so, I'd be looking for £200 a month from each of them. Honestly, almost 20 years ago at a similar age I was paying £250 a month digs

I was charged rent my parents, I got savvy with money and developed a business sense which made me a business woman. If you can afford to not charge rent then you can put any rent received into a nest egg for a son or daughter which could be given back later on

Dimples - I'm so sorry you're in that situation. My MIL was in a similar situation with my BIL, and found it very hard to do what was needed - your position is worse though because you HAVE done what was needed and it hasn't worked for you, don't know why the police have been so shite with you, that's really bad!

Strongly recommend you try and get in touch with the DV unit - you ARE being abused, even if you're not being physically bashed - but also DO change the locks. If he then breaks the door down, you have your proof of physical violence and hopefully it will do the job and the police will help you.

In MIL's case, she kept refusing to have the police called on BIL because it would harm his chances of getting work and fucking off again - but he didn't want to work, he was quite happy to stay at hers sponging off her, so that didn't work well for her.
In the end, his drunken rows with neighbours did the trick - they called the police and he was removed, and an exclusion order placed on him. He's been on a good behaviour bond and ended up doing jail time because he broke it - but at least he's not living with her any more.

Or you could try what the other mum on this thread did - sell up and move far away.

Well, I won't be charging my dc rent and my parents never charged me rent. But that's fine for me because I doubt I'll need the money and not because I'm worried that my bratty kids wouldn't tolerate me asking for rent. And there's no way I'd be allowing partners to move in, down that road lies madness.

Son and gf should both pay more, you're not a charity. Get the going rate for a shared house in your area and charge them. Your other kids can still be free if they make up for it in tasks etc

Phew, I thought I was completely alone in not charging children rent for a while there. Seems not, most of the comments on this discussion think it's bit weird too:

www.theguardian.com/money/blog/2012/aug/31/how-much-rent-charge-son

Solo - Nothing is free fgs, this is the real life lesson, not 'don't worry son/daughter, you can live here for as long as you want, mummy will look after you'.

That's a ridiculous assumption. All my kids more than pull their weight when living here. In fact, I'm pretty sure I get more out of the deal than they do these days, in terms of help with the garden, lifts for younger kids and DIY around the house.

I was kicked out at 16 and had no family support at all since then, neither did my siblings - so I'm very aware of 'life lessons' thanks - and the toll it takes when young people are not fully supported in early adulthood. Let's just say it took some of us a while to find our way. I didn't want that for my kids. They go when they're ready, and if they need/want to come back, that's fine too. (It makes no practical sense for a huge FO house to be half-empty while the kids scrimp for rent.) And surprise, surprise, the ones who have left are more than capable of holding down good jobs, paying rent and mortgages, and turned out to be generally fully-functioning members of society, without me needing to teach them additional 'life lessons' about rent.

£7500 p.a. is only £625 a month. If you're talking 2 or 3 adult children being charged £250 p.m, as some posters have suggested, you're already over that.

I paid my parents £550 a month when I stayed with my parents for 6 months back in 2012 after a nasty break-up. I also cleaned the upstairs of the house and cooked three times a week. That covered my food and basic toiletries (loo roll, toothpaste) but not shampoos, moisturisers etc which I paid for myself. It was the perfect amount - cheap enough that I was able to save for a deposit / moving costs for my own place but enough that it didn't come as a massive shock to my system when I moved out.

The idea of totting up the real cost of keeping then household and then dividing it is a good one - even if you then give "discounts" they will understand how much it actually costs. Often young people who have not lived away from home do not appreciate how much utilities etc cost.

Where I live a room in a grotty HMO costs over £115 a week and bills on top - not much spare from the £57.75 a week an under 25 gets on the dole for living costs (not including HB) or from a student loan. Your DC and the GF are being heavily subsidised by you - they should recognise that, be grateful and at the very least be contributing more to cleaning and upkeep of the house if you do not need more monetary contributions.

You're not doing him any long term favours setting him up for a lifetime of expecting to be supported by women whilst he refuses to contribute.

This.

Also an adult should be buying their own shower gel, seriously.

I would be moving another bed into DS2's room and tell him he pays rent or he shares with a lodger.

Your son needs to learn pretty sharpish that he can't just refuse anything which isn't palatable to him. He'll end up living with you permanently because no-one else will offer him free housing (unless his girlfriend is gullible enough to support him).

The g/f paying £40 a month is hardly 'rent' though is it? i doubt that even covers her share of toilet rolls and washing powder and utility bills!
She should pay more as should your son, her boyfriend!
RENT Payable

1. make a list of ALL the monthly bills including the rent /mortgage payments and a sum for repairs that may be required.
2. divide it up equally between all the adults that aren't in full time education. DS with the disabilities is probably getting additional allowances, so he should be paying an equal share too. However, if there is a shortfall then you can put a price on the weekly work he does for you.
3. Ensure they all pay weekly on a set day of the week. (Take the wifi away etc if they don't)
4. Then have a weekly kitty for all the shared things like tea and coffee, milk shampoo, cleaning products and toilet rolls etc.
5. it would be cheaper and nicer for you all if you ate together- work out a rota and a meal plan to suit everyone, and sit at a table together to eat it

Be tough and tell them you are no longer going to be treated like a mug, and that the changes will help them all become more mature and adult and set good routines for themselves etc.

I charge my mother £100 a month to stay with us but i think it is reasonable as she doesn't help out around the house such as shopping, changing Dc nappy ect.

I had to start paying at 16 when I finished school and got a job. My boyfriend lived with us and also had a job and had to pay. If I refused and didn't want to I would have been kicked out... also if I couldn't be bothered, my boyfriend wouldn't have been able to live with us either.

I think you need to tell him he has to otherwise he can find somewhere else to stay because he's obviously so hard done by at your house. He's old enough to have his girlfriend living there, he's old enough to get off his arse and finally help his mum out
by paying £40 a month (which is a pathetic amount anyway so he should think himself lucky)

Doing them no favours at all and allowing them to become thoroughly unpleasant human beings. Once they are 18 your responsibilities end. They need to pay or leave and that should be legally enforceable. Do you have any tough looking adult male friends who could help?
Change wifi password and hide the router. Get a lock for the fridge and change door locks, any damage report to the police at once. They must go out sometime and when they do put all their stuff in bin bags outside the door. Let them try this with their girlfriends' families.