To leave a ten yr old home alone for an hour

I think it really depends on the child. My dd1 is 9 (10 in August) she is quite scatty and can be impulsive and often do silly things that she hasn't thought through so I really wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her at home on her own any time soon. I let her call to local friends and stuff but being in the house I would worry she would just do something silly. Also I think she would love the idea of it but in reality might freak out a little if left on her own - she has a very active imagination. On the other hand my dd2 is 6 nearly 7 and she is so mature and responsible I would have no issues leaving her now! (I wouldn't of course still a bit young). So it is really hard to say an age every child is different and will be ready for it at different times

totally agree altiara
locally there is no after school childcare for secondary age children. so IMO the children of parents who work outside the home need gradually to get used to a little more independence and responsibility before then, rather than being plunged straight into being home alone for two hours every day.

With every decade that passes children seem to be infantilised atxan older and older age.

Altiara, that's it exactly. It's not a case of just abandoning your nine/ten year old. It's making sure theyre comfortable then building up the time so they're confident on their own.

I think a lot of people, many of my friends certainly, have this magic year 7 in their head.

I agree they're is a big contrast , for example dd is one of the oldest in her year hence already being 10 in year 5 , so even though they're not allowed to come home alone in year 5 in year 6 kids of the same age will be !

So cheered up by the attitudes on this thread. I was practically feral by the time I was 10yrs old and loved the responsibility and independence of being able to do stuff on my own.

I often hear other Mums refusing to leave their 10 year old ("the world's not safe, anything could happen") and am baffled.

Having said that, have offered to leave DS 9 home alone while I go and collect his sibling from nursery and he doesn't want to be left. Guess you have to take cues from whether your dc feels confident about it.

In my dc's last school, only yr 6 were allowed to walk home. I don't actually know what the rule is at their new school, but they get the bus.

It makes me laugh, every age child from reception to yr 6 is escorted onto the bus, seated, belt checks and registered- but then the bus goes off with no second adult, only the driver, who has no idea which stop each child is getting off at or if anyone is collecting them. It just seems such a contrast!

My DD is 10.5 and in Y6. Since September I've forced myself to leave her alone at home while I drop off or collect DS from clubs so we've built up to almost an hour.
I can't see how the sudden jump in 8 mths time when she's in Y7 and then walking for 50 mins or travelling on buses without an adult then letting herself in at home by herself will work otherwise.
I'd probably start with dropping your other child off/picking up a few times so they get used to the 'freedom' before leaving them for an hour.

Op I think this sounds fine. I have a funny story about this though... A few years ago my sis and I went shopping, she left my 14 year old niece at home. A couple of hours later her mobile rang and a voice said this is Pc Smith and I have your daughter here in a house without a parent or responsible adult, do you realise this counts as neglect? Apparently the police called round to see my other niece who had reported her phone stolen and when my niece answered the door and saw the police she panicked, she looks very young and when they asked her where her parents were she burst out crying and said she didn't know! I think she thought they were there to drag her off to a cell, poor wee thing! So they asked for her mum's number and phoned my sis to give her a row and tell her to come home! Obviously just a mix up and nothing came of it, but I often think if it as my ds aged 13 stays in quite a lot when I go to the supermarket etc!

*Dds class

This - a girl in dds (aged 10) recently answered the phone and it was a pervert. We had similar calls when I was growing up so my dds are not allowed to answer the landline.

Thisismy- it's so they don't have to say that they're on there own, they don't have to deal with cold callers and they don't take messages and forget to pass them on. Our phone shows the name of close friends and family, so they can answer those calls.

I haven't left my 10 year old more than 10 mins yet while I pop to the local shop and even then if I am a few minutes longer than he expects as shop is busy he is looking out of the window for me! Not quite ready in our case but expect he will be in the next year or so.

He is in year 5 and a handful walk to school alone now but the majority don't. He will be alloŵed in year 6.

My older DC were allowed to answer the phone when they were younger but if questioned they said that I was in the shower just so that random people wouldn't know they were home alone. One of the DC once told my builder that I was in the shower when he phoned to check something and I'd just popped to the shop for 5 minutes. He'd only popped out for some more grouting for the shower that he was in the middle of tiling at the time

We don't use the landline now so DD3 uses her mobile and she always answers it.

Can I ask why the pp's who have said their child shouldn't answer the phone while they're out have said that? I was left alone after school/ while my ddad picked dm up from work from about 9ish. I had rules and not answering the door was one of them but not the phone. I did get up to some stupid shit while I was at home alone (sitting/ sliding on the bannisters overlooking a big drop and turning on the oven to put crisp packets in so they shrivelled up and I could make keyrings out of them being my favourites!) but I knew what to do if something had gone wrong.

When I got the letter in year 5 I signed to say that DD3 could walk home alone ONLY because than she didn't have to wait in the playground with the teacher as each child was released to the parents one at a time. She could just come straight to me.

But signing the letter was like a green light to DD3 and she decided that she really did want to walk home alone so we did it in stages over the next week or so and it was so successful that I realised I'd underestimated her ability to do this and the positive impact that it would have on her.

I was always home for the first couple of months but I got her a key and after a few weeks she started letting herself in even though I was there.

I'm not criticising I'm just asking , I know I'd love my 10 year old to come home alone and wait til j got home from work at 5.30 but I know it would, do be frowned on, but when she is in year 7 it'll be ok

Yes I would, and did. My 11 year old is home alone for around 2 hours every day now while I'm at work.

"Round here" is in Finland Lilac but Finnish kids aren't magically more mature than British kids, so no reason except for local custom/school rules why a British kid can't do the same.

Also make sure she knows what to do in case of fire etc

I think that some 10 year olds could do this no problem. You know your own best, and it sounds like you don't really have any concerns about her being in on her own. She must keep it to herself though (and so must you) the law can be a little grey when it comes to that.

I know the official advice is fairly vague, but pretty certain it says that a child under 12 is rarely mature enough to be left (or at least a primary school age child).
The bit you left off at the end is 'for long periods' ie it's not acceptable to work an 8 hour shift and not get childcare, if a child is left long enough to feel lonely, or need to prepare meals for themselves or get scared that's not acceptable. That's a world away from letting them wait an hour for you after school.
I was once looking into being a childminder (only 2 or 3 years ago) and I noticed in one of the requirements is said children over 8 were allowed to leave the setting unaccompanied only with written permission, so even ofsted recognises that children go out alone.
I would feel happier about my child being indoors alone than out alone, that may be about where I live tho, I would have different judgements about some of my friends local areas.

I had my own key when i was 10, would go home and make myself lunch then get back to school. I just wasnt allowed to put cooker on but would make supernoodles in micro etc. I think a bit of independance and trust goes a long way and your dc will appreciate it.

Yes year 5 Lilac

I'm in the North East and we get a standard letter to sign from year 5 onwards to say if our DC can walk home alone or not. A lot of kids walk home at a much younger age so I guess they have to write in to give permission.

FWIW, school know that my DD is alone at home after school sometimes.

I'm absolutely happy to be judged on this, thanks. As I say, it hasn't done my eldest any harm to wait a while, and doesn't do my youngest any harm to come with me on short errands, rather than leaving him at home.

I know the official advice is fairly vague, but pretty certain it says that a child under 12 is rarely mature enough to be left (or at least a primary school age child).