To leave a ten yr old home alone for an hour

Interesting reading, I have a 10yo dd and haven't ever really left her as not had any reason to do so. However come September she will be off to secondary which will entail a 10 min walk on her own and letting herself in and waiting 2 hours for me to get home from work.

It seems like a big leap but afaik there are no childcare options for secondary aged kids, will start to leave her for short periods this summer in preparation I guess.

Siince she was 10 We've left our very sensible dd on her own at home for an hour. The first time we did it someone unlocked the front door and some strange person came in, covered in black and dripping with rain. My daughter froze to the spot, then realised it was our lovely cleaner who had decided to turn up on a different day to usual....

I wouldn't. DD is 11 and in year 6 and hasn't been left alone - I'm sure none of her friends will either. We live in an area where kids live within minutes of high school or are driven in. Most of her friends have siblings in year 7 and don't walk alone to school unless in a big group.

The frequent worry I often had with the middle child (as a teenager) woukd that he often had friends calling around. I didn't trust him not to let him, show off and create havoc in the house when I was not there. The older one would not have dared to do any of those things at a much younger age.
Two years between them, same upbringing - very different children!

Yes.

Prepare her with a few things first.

• how to contact you (does she know how to ring your mobile?)
• what to do if the doorbell rings
• what to do if the phone rings
• who to go to in an emergency e.g. if you can't get home because you are abducted by aliens, which local friends or neighbours she could go to?
• what is she allowed to do while you're out (e.g. TV, homework or whatever)
• what is she not allowed to do while you're out? (e.g. no cooking, hot drinks, knives or scissors, no friends visiting, no going out)

I have an 11 year old, and he has an emergency key, incase I get stuck in traffic getting home and to save him waiting on the doorstep when he gets home from school. I'm never longer than 10 mins, but I always worry that the neighbours are watching and judging! I've banned him from going and eating any snacks until I get there, because my paranoid brain tells me that he'll choke to death one day on a crisp before I pull into the driveway.

This is interesting, My ds is 11 and often asks if he can stay at home whilst I go to the post office (which I have to do daily) I always say no but after reading this I'm wondering if I should let him.

For background we live very rural, it is 3 miles to the p.o and I'm normally gone between 45 mins and an hour, Do you think that would be ok?

I always worry what would happen if I had an accident, although dd (15) would be be getting in from school herself when I was out.

I would have left my oldest alone for an hour at that age, but not the middle child. I wouldn't leave him alone at home at 14 - because he had no common sense and would often go against any instructions.
He is only just starting to get his act together now. At 24 😳

And I think it also depends on where you live. If you have hooligans hanging about or horrid neighbours I would not leave them alone in the house.

I think it depends on the ten year. If sensible and will follow instructions, I would say yes.
Not letting anyone in, no cooking or any other hazardous activities. Have your mobile close to hand in case they need to call you etc.

Golden

Glad to find someone who agrees with me! I got an absolute roasting when I posted the same thing a couple of years ago

I was told that I must have the most badly behaved DC in the world for me not to trust them alone at that age, well no, my DC have always been exceptionally well behaved, it's just that I wasn't comfortable with leaving them, one day when we were all at home, the local toe rags kicked my front door in for no reason, we were all terrified, what if that had happened when I wasn't there?

Yes and yes I did, my Ds was walking home & latch key by spring of year 5. Age 10. The after school clubs can't really cater for that age & it was only an hour or max 2. Nothing wrong with it, and it helped his independence when he went off to secondary .. That's an hour journey each way by bus (living in the sticks)! I was also latch key at 10, it was fab - an hour to myself, watch some tele and chill. Perfect way to relax after the school day

Yes, I used to.

In fact at my son's old primary school (in London) the head teacher said that he wanted all children regularly traveling to school on their own by the end of year 5 (admittedly many lived within fifteen minutes walk) but I think that is even more of a challenge than being left home alone for an hour.

Zukiecat I'm with you on this one. Children can be the most well behaved and mature but it's sometimes curiosity or things beyond our control that happen.

I was once listening to a radio show where a Mum was considered a total failure because she left her 13 year old!! alone for three hours while working.
What if the house catches fire! What if the house gets burgled!
Considering that I'm barely scrapping 5 inches, any 13 year old is heavier and bigger than me so I just laughed at the idea of me heroically scaring a burglar away while keeping my little 13 year old son behind me (considering my 7 year old DD is almost as big as myself).

It's no problem at all. Nothing is going to happen, especially if he gets the drill on how to behave. He'll be OK.

No, I wouldn't

I didn't leave mine alone til they were 15, that's just what I was comfortable with and I know it's late by some people's thoughts

I know they were walking to secondary school at 12, but again they never went alone, they always had friends to walk with

Think they were around 15/16 before they could go into town by themselves too

JS - my MIL used to get the bus to school on her own - age 5! 1950s England. We don't agree on many things tbh but she really doesn't understand the modern fear of letting children have the independence they're ready for.

This is a tough one as I'm in the same position but with a very difficult ex husband that is forever threatening family court (just part of our divorce-no issues!)again I feel I have to tread VERY carefully
Interesting to follow this thread🙂

At 10 I used to be left alone while my grandparents went to church or food shopping for an hour or 2, I loved it! I used to put on loud music and dance like crazy all over the sofas. They didn't know that

no problem, I leave my 9 year old occasionally. Usually for 20-30 minutes and usually when we are very close, but she is fine.

Do go over the rules though, I had to go out to a meeting and dds aged 9 and 11 would be at home for 1 hour before dh and ds got home. Over dinner I said what would you do if there was a fire.
dd2 (9) said - Go upstairs, fetch my teddies and then go out of the door. We have been over this before, more than once.

me - Ha Ha , what would you really do?
dd2 - go up stairs and get my teddies.....

Then followed a serious talk about what you do in that situation, and some others.

I walked to school with my brother/on my own (once he went up to secondary school) from year 3 I think but mum also picked me up because she liked chatting with the other mums at pick up time, and because half the time I'd be wanting to go round a friend's/have a friend come round ours straight after school.

Where I live now they are no rules about who can walk alone, they walk alone from preschool (age 6) apparently but there's a bus for preschoolers so doubt many do, but from 1st grade DD will probably walk alone once I'm sure she knows the route well (its a path through the forest so no major roads to cross or anything, think she can actually get right to the school from the forest path so no road walking at all)

There is a child in the class who lives beside the entrance gate - seriously - and they aren't allowed to walk home.

I walked to and from school on my own at 4 (1970s NI).

DS's school won't let year 5 ( turning 10 that academic year P6 in Scotland/NI) walk home last term or this term.

That's a bit weird! I walked to and from school (five minutes away) alone from the age of 7 (in 1997, not that long ago ) and nobody batted an eye.

DS's school won't let year 5 ( turning 10 that academic year P6 in Scotland/NI) walk home last term or this term. They permit it in the summer term, but only with another child the same age or older...

I dont understand how a school can stop you letting your child walk home.

Its weird i can see it from teh other point of view.My mam never let me walk home or do anything and it really stifled me.It meant when o got older and could do those things,i hadnt a clue.I was just pushed in at the deep end,with no getting used to it.I found that very hard.

DS's school won't let year 5 ( turning 10 that academic year P6 in Scotland/NI) walk home last term or this term. They permit it in the summer term, but only with another child the same age or older...

DS is looking forward to it.

I would leave him for an hour without worrying too much.