To hate staying at other people's houses

Totally with you. No matter how much I like the family or friends I find staying over exhausting, wearing and can't wait for my own place, despite everyone I know having far nicer homes than mine. I especially hate bathroom thing too and general lack.of privacy and needing to be sociable and amenable even when you don't feel either.

I always feel awkward and tense.. Not my home etc. In fact I rarely stay anywhere unless it's with the kids and me in a caravan or similar.

When I seperated, I spent the night on a friend's sofa.. I've known him and his wife 20 years or more, they had the JD and understanding ready... But I let myself out quietly at 7am the next day with a "thank you" card on the table. I don't think it's unusual at all..

Oh yes the bathroom thing is annoying! Not wanting to go to the loo in the night because having to fumble around finding light switches and worrying about waking the house (particularly the kids) by turning the lights on and hearing footsteps, loud flush etc. Then worrying about almost finishing the loo roll and not being able to see any more but not wanting to rummage through their bathroom cupboards! Then being on AF and feeling awkward leaving used pads (wrapped obviously!) in the bin. And mid poo or mid shower one of the children always desperately needs a wee, one thing in own home with own child just to let them in... Not with someone elses child though!

And temperature of the house, it's always too hot or too cold.
And food. They never have quite the same stuff and even if they say help yourself you still don't know what is is OK just to nibble or finish up.

And not having any control over what we watch on TV.
And feeling awkward wanting to help out when host is running about doing chores, but not knowing where anything goes to help clear up, and cleaning or hoovering or that sort of thing would be rude!

To be honest I do love visiting people and is nice to be looked after as most people are very friendly and hospitable, but it's not like being at home! A couple of nights is more than enough then I start to miss my own home and my own space....

I love staying at my parents' house, mainly because I can just be myself and if I get bored there is always stuff I can do to be helpful, i.e offer to cook dinner, sort the laundry, take their dogs out for a long walk etc. Luckily we all enjoy the same TV and films too, so that's a bonus

PIL's house is the polar opposite. They are very old fashioned and believe that guests should be waited on hand & foot, and absolutely refuse to let anyone lift a finger, no matter how much you insist. I can't even make myself a cup of tea. MIL insists that I "sit down" whilst she fusses around the kitchen. FIL is just as bad. If I say I'm fine with something (let's say, the temperature of the room), he won't accept my answer. He'll bring me a fleecy blanket, or just turn the heating up to full blast anyway. I'll be sitting there sweating and he'll be asking if I want to borrow a jumper. Yes, really.
They are trying to be the perfect hosts, but my god it is suffocating. I just want to treated as, and feel like, a member of the family, and not some sort of visiting foreign diplomat.

We used to have to go to PIL's every xmas. Big, damp, musty house. All rooms freezing apart from the kitchen which was always too hot. Lots of food in, but nothing you could actually eat as everything was out of date, old, musty or in some way dubious. I used to live on toast and cereal all xmas.

A particular low point was when I was staying in one of the rickety single guest beds and realising the bedding hadn't been washed because it smelled of the previous occupant I'm a bit of a clean freak and it really made me feel uncomfortable and unhappy.

Also, dh and fil once had the bright idea of removing the telly to prevent bil from hogging it when they visited. I spent all xmas trying to entertain ds1 who was hyperactive and irritable at the best of times, but at least he'd watch tv for a bit. I had to follow him around from freezing cold room to freezing cold room trying to prevent him from knocking things over and fiddling. That was one of the worst xmases ever, totally miserable and difficult.

Is there some kind of law that says once you hit 70 your house must become smelly, cold and musty and you have to eat mouldy food, even if you're comfortably off?

I think I have a 1 night/36 hour limit... at ILs and feel like I'm being slowly dessicated because of the heat in the house! We bring the kids and FIL spends most of the time in his study or picking up after us/being ocd about mess and/or food because he "doesn't know how to talk to toddlers". What is the point of us coming then?

Oh Lord - I love my own bed - full of husbands (1) cats (2) and dogs (2)

Can't sleep without a lot of snores in different keys (and occasional bum fluffs)

I don't like it either, didn't mind it too much before kids but now it isn't easy. I think it's mainly the having to be sociable all the time and seeing the same people for long periods. My ILs live abroad so visits are always long ones, I long for the day we can pop in once a week. It keeps everything fresh and no-one gets sick of each other!

I don't think anyone really enjoys it to be honest. At best it's something that needs to be tolerated in order to spend time with your wider family when you don't have the luxury of living a short distance from them. But how awful it is really depends on how laid back your hosts are. I love my SIL and BIL dearly but they are dreadful uptight hosts. We have this unspoken mutual acknowledgement that they'd much rather be our guests than us be theirs. As guests they are no trouble. Well, almost no trouble anyway.

I'm the same, as are most of my siblings. One of my brothers even brings his own tent (small,hikers type thing) and puts it up in the back garden rather than sleep in the spare room. Weird, but works for both of us because I don't like overnight guests either

I'm going to Baltimore in spring to visit a friend. Our mutual friend was shocked to hear I'll be staying in a hotel, rather than at her aunt and uncle's place with her- I was horrified at the very idea!

I feel the same however there are a few places I feel at home (1 particular friend and my parents) apart from those places I always fee I have to be a certain type of myself, always happy always on, can't just relax with the tv on

I forget how much I hate it until around ... 1am when I realise I can't sleep because the mattress is crippling my back. Six hours later with an assortment of makeshift solutions i.e; pillow under back, laying on the floor... I want to cry.

Also agree about constantly needing to be 'on'. This morning I had to get up, put a full face of makeup on at 6am just to avoid the bathroom que, and rather than having my usual grumpy morning coffee had to stand and make conversation with my husbands cousin for half an hour.

I miss my own space so much, I just feel like an intruder. Like I can't go anywhere other than the guest room. But I'm so grateful people let us stay. It really wouldn't be possible to see our families otherwise.

Oh yes another introvert/hater of staying at other people's houses person here. The only place I like staying is my in laws as they are so laid back and it feels like my home. Anywhere else - shudder.

I am currently away and chillin' (quite literally, given the rest of the house is a sauna) upstairs in our room with the windows open, the radiator off and the door shut. Quiet, antisocial bliss 😆

I wouldn't stay anywhere I wouldn't be comfortable having a bloody great fart/shit if I needed one.

So mum's - ok. Anyone else - no thanks.

I have found my tribe!

My mum cannot understand why I would rather book into a Premier Inn than stay at hers, either on my own or with my DCs.

I am too old to sleep squashed up with one or more of my children in uncomfortable beds with polyester bed linen. Plus my mum's cooking is getting more and more strange, so at least with Premier Inn I know we will be able to eat the food.

I hate it! We always book into a hotel. I need somewhere to escape to. It's the whole waiting for people to go to bed/get up etc

rookie exactly Dh not realising what's annoying! Asking for decaf tea, ordering v v meaty expensive takeaway starter at Brother completely veg household...and asking loudly why I was kicking him under the table...

Please, please, none of you come and stay with me.

How will I know? And how will I know if my hosts are any of these guest - averse people, too?

Could there be a secret sign?

I am not keen either. Like the comfort of my own bed, also not having to use other people's bathrooms.

I am like this too. I'm fine with hotels, but find it incredibly uncomfortable to stay in someone elses house.
I feel similar to other posters. Especially the personal space and too warm houses! I like my bedroom cool.
Also my GP thinks I have fibromyalgia. This means that sleeping on anything other than our expensive mattress with its six inches of memory foam leaves me in tremendous pain. I can't just rough it.

We love it rookie only moved in in May, we relocated for my DH's work just over a year ago. We lived in a tiny 1bed apartment for a few months (with most of our stuff in storage - I'm still unpacking boxes of books and music collections so every day's Christmas) while we looked for a house and when we found this one it was like it had been built and designed just for us. We couldn't believe our luck, still can't.

Spacious, comfortable accommodation for guests while ensuring our own space was important because we are hundreds of miles from my DH's family and thousands of miles from mine, so visits are usually longer than just a couple of days and we've already had 3 sets of visitors who've loved it. We've had this conversation so many times with others and we've all said exactly the same things as on this thread,