To ask neighbour to stop kids using communal areas as personal playground...

Sounds awful. I’m in a similar situation where a group of houses share a communal area and the boys on the estate spend hours a day kicking footballs off cars, trees and plants. There’s no ball games signs and the management company is constantly sending out emails reminding us not to allow it, but the parents don’t care.

I raised it with one of the mums once and she told me that she pays her charges and her kids will do as they please.

Some people are just really selfish, OP, sorry.

You will be charged for the damage in service charges. I now have to pay an extra 20per week in my rent to tidy up fly tipping, trash and damage to communal areas other neighbors have caused. Made complaints for years, nothing changes all they did was make me pay for it, when i dont even have a kid trashing things. and when talking to parents or kids, they just get rude and now I get bullied by them. All my trees and bushes now dying so the only enjoyment I ever had looking out the window is gone. Means more noise travel and less birds. Honestly hate living with people but as a single person I can't afford to move away.

However it does seem that DCs can't win

So true. Having lived in an area where the children were antisocial from a very early age, and I had my windows deliberately broken by them nearly every day for two years, it makes my blood boil when adults will not let them play and get their knickers in a twist about the risk of a window being broken by accident. If we don't defend childrens' right to play, what should be defend in this world.

And, in my experience, children that play football are usually amenable to being nicely asked to take care where the ball goes, though they can get naturally overexcited and forget. But there is no malice.

I'm slightly on the fence about this as in our development there is a lovely grassed woody area at the bottom, removed from cars and with a play area. It was one of the reasons we chose to move here as we thought it would be nice that there would be space for DS to play football when older.

Except there is an elderly man who owns the house that backs on to that area - he's sort of adjacent to it so it doesn't impact him directly - but any time anyone played on that area, he'd come out and shout at them. We also got a letter from the factor - I emailed them to ask why they didn't want DCs playing football on the grass and they came back with oh it was ok if they weren't wearing studs.

Net result is that no DCs use that area and they either go down the road to the next street where there is a grassy open bit where no one shouts at them, or they play in the cul de sac.

They used to be on our lawn a lot, but it stopped for two reasons. Firstly the front lawn was a right old state so DH put down some lawn seed and fertilizer and DS and his pals were given strict instructions not to go on the lawn for a week. Secondly and probably more relevantly, new neighbours arrived and put down astro in their back garden so now the boys play there all the time. The neighbours love it {not} and I do have some sympathy for them.

However it does seem that DCs can't win. Either they are being castigated for being on electronic devices all the time, or they are making too much mess by playing outside. I'm not sure why some posters never let their DCs play outside - that's where DS has his best times, playing with his pals.

You could suggest that everyone pays to get fake grass put down to make it look a bit more appealing. You could also go out and shout every time a ball lands where it shouldn't and take away anything left overnight so they have to come and ask for it.

Sneak out, steal all the bikes and footballs and give to a charity shop.

Yeah, really sensible solution

Sorry, eleanor - cross posted with you. Great minds and all that

In the event we ever move, (communal areas) will be the first thing we look at

I don't blame you at all, but speaking of a possible future move, don't forget that any serious neighbour disputes have to be declared by the seller these days. I just wondered if it would be worth bearing in mind, since many potential buyers would run a mile when informed of something like this ...

Since you are moving in the new year ( your other thread) probably best to do nothing. You do not want to have to Mention disputes with the neighbours tp prospective buyers. If you are concerned the bikes will put buyers off can you not just say as much to the other family?

Atenco but OP said they were making loads of noise at night. I agree especially if there are a few kids it's nice that they can play outside, but not leaving a mess and kicking their balls into people's cars surely. Especially when they could just play in their own garden.

I love the sound of children playing, it is a shame you prefer your communal areas to be perfect.

Can you make a collective appeal to the parents?

Sneak out, steal all the bikes and footballs and give to a charity shop.

Of course you're not being unreasonable. They have a garden which they've trashed they should go back there and trash it some more.

Comments about the mum doing some work to keep the communal area nice - the OP said that 4 out of the 5 households pitch in too, and anyway cleaning up stuff you've trashed isn't exactly the same aultirism as taking your turn doing general maintenance.

I'd have another word and then either disengage and refuse to do anything else to undo any damage and let the boys absolutely trash it. At which point get a quote from a local gardener for a complete returf and replant and present this to the family.

I'll get flamed for this but fuck it, I would also be tempted to nick any balls and bikes left lying out. Do it at night, don't tell anyone and dispose of the items. Deny all knowledge. They won't do it again.

We used to live in a house with communal areas. One neighbour's kids played football against our living room wall every day. Our new baby couldn't sleep for the noise. We politely asked the neighbour if her children could play football in their garden but she said children should never be told what to do. We moved and will never live in a place with communal areas again. But as already pointed out on here - your neighbour's sons will most likely be indoors on their devices all the time soon, so might not be a problem for much longer.

Of course yabu this is what kids are meant to do! Play out, why should they be confined to their back gardens. Your complaining about what? A bit of grass? Its so sad to see a lack of children having proper childhoods, I would be pleased to see this happen. Your kids should join them.

I think I'd leave it. As someone else said, they won't be playing out for much longer and you can always ask them to pay for re turfing the grass if it's in that bad a state at the end of the winter.

I think the 'balls might hit cars' worry should be kept separate from the 'damaging the grass' worry as one is definitely happening whilst the other is a maybe.

Cul de sacs are definitely for playing out in. I grew up roaming the streets on my bike and roller skates (as well as in the garden) in the 80s and I'm so glad my kids have had the same freedoms. It's very different "playing out" to playing in the garden.

playingout.net/why/

Playing wouldn't bother me. Trashing the place (which is what is actually happening) is another. I'm all for kids playing outside as long as they do it safely and with respect for property. These boys are old enough to respect the property and YANBU to raise that with the parents. I think YABU to ban playing completely unless it's against the freehold or something as long as they property around them is respected.

i would hate to live in a street where kids play out. I would be constantly worried about footballs, and bike handles damaging my car. But then i was brought up by a mother who thought kids should play in their back gardens or down the play park. Not in the road. Roads aren't designed for people to play in. I would have thought there were security issues as well - it only takes one van driver in a hurry and it doesn't bear thinking about. And i say all this as the mother of lots of boys

The state of their garden was relayed to me by their next door neighbour (we're opposite) who can see over the fence and who are equally fed up with the general levels of disrespect, mess and noise......

Sounds like they can't win. Play in the garden and their neighbour complains. When they aren't sticking their nosy beak over the fence and hoiking their bosom at the state of the herbaceous border.

Since you've mentioned noise. Clearly you do have a problem with them playing. Kids playing will involve some noise. And whether you like it or not I don't think you have any say over where they leave their bikes.

I think it's brilliant to live in a street where kids play out. It is very rare these days and a very positive thing for kids to be able to do. It does sound like they could be a bit more considerate though. Perhaps arrange a friendly meeting with neighbours - it is Christmas, invite them round for mulled wine, and bring it up, kindly.

Either that or move. In the vast majority of streets in the UK, kids don't play out.

I think before you tackle this with the parents, you need to be sure that the majority of the neighbours are going to back you up. Nothing worse that 'we would like it if you would.......' only to have the rest of the neighbours say 'Oh, I don't have a problem'.

Sorry the op hadn't mentioned 'riff raff'. Are all the other neighbours childless or with grown up kids? I suspect the tone might change when grandchildren are old enough to be playing on there.