No one cares about my vagina

I'm really sorry you're going through this.

I have three pieces of practical advice - have you looked up the 'any old prolapse' threads on here? Full of good advice.

Have you been on 'the whole woman' website - it's very anti surgery. I'm not sure which is the right attitude to take (probably a balence and case by case) but they might have helpful advice while you're waiting to be seen.

Thirdly, and I'm sorry I have no idea about your financial situation so sorry if this is totally useless but could you consider going privately? It can be a big mental adjustment to spend a lot of money on yourself like that when you know you could just put up with it and be seen by the NHS eventually. I did it with a episiotomy that wasn't healing properly and the speed with which I was seen and time the gynae was able to give me was amazing. I'd rather have done that than gone on holiday for example.

oh and YADNBU

support from me
I agree totally that Gynae issues are under-researched and underfunded because they are women's issues
I know the point is that you shouldn't have to fight, but have you escalated this to the hospital?
You could write to the Senior Consultant and/or Manager for Women's Services and/or the Chief Exec of the Trust?

I wholeheartedly agree OP.

Preach my sister!

I have always said the same; if men had to give birth and ever had these sorts of problems it would be considered emergency

They would never be fobbed off with the age old 'it's part of giving birth/ having kids etc etc'

You have summed up my feelings perfectly

YADNBU op

I hope you get the surgery you need and you can be happy my dear

Can you afford to pay for private? Its shit but seems to be the way to get quick treatment

It is unbelievably shit. I honestly think many gynae patients are being left without dignity, trying to manage conditions that are just awful. The dismissiveness with which these issues are treated is terrible.

GPs are struggling with the system too. There's only so much they can do but the fact is that waiting lists have nosedived over the last few years. I'm waiting for an 'urgent' referral and my GP has been superb but we are still looking at an 8 month wait minimum. It's horrendous.

And I agree with you about women's health being bottom of the list of priorities. The number of friends I have who are having ongoing untreated symptoms (some very major) from birth injuries is huge. It's a massive silent issue that isn't being dealt with because it doesn't affect the men in charge.

This sounds absolutely terrible. I understand your anger at feeling it's up to you to sort it out, but sadly that does seem to be how the NHS works when you need treatment. It's abysmal that your condition should be regarded as 'non-urgent'.

Nothing practical to suggest other than going to the GP and letting them see exactly how bad you feel - I've found my GPs have been much more proactive about prodding the system on my behalf when I've been upfront about my distress. I know it doesn't come easily to most of us.

I think you should spell out your symptoms in terms of how it affects your life. So "faecal incontinence" translates to "I can't go further than 20yds from a toilet" or "I'm changing my nappies more often than my kids'", "chronic pain" and "difficulty walking" to "I'm in so much pain I can't even take my kids to the park", the sex problems as "I can't bear the thought of having sex with my husband" and so on. Stressing the practical difficulties, especially as you're in charge of young children, may drive your point home. Don't worry about crying; that will underline your frustration and desperation. Refuse to have any further intimate examinations until you've been given a date for admission.

It sounds grim. Battle on.

YA Absolutely, Definitely, 100% NOT BU.

Women get such a shit time of it with the NHS when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth injuries.

Men wouldn't have to put up with it if the situation was somehow reversed.

I hope you get your treatment soon and get a bit of relief.

That is shit Fauxgina, utterly shit. I don't understand why more people aren't furious about the state of the NHS. It's as though we should all just be terribly grateful for anything we get and so put up and shut up. Everyone says, well at least we get free treatment, be thankful you're not in the US. But what about continental Europe where afaic see they get a far better health system without crippling costs.

I wish I knew what the answer was, I just feel so angry and ashamed that you're going through this.

I'm sorry, that sounds absolutely awful and really miserable for you.

If the symptoms are affecting your mental
wellbeing you may find yourself bumped up the queue

Have you really pushed your GP to ask them to try to move you up the queue?