No one cares about my vagina

Thisthingcalledlife what a horrible unsupportive thing to say. If you read the op you will see she was advised to finished having her family before she got fixed up.

How about me - should I not have gone on to have another child because the first one went ok on my body and left me with mild pelvic floor problems but the second one completely wrecked it. No one can predict what will happen in the future and what will be available on the nhs - should that stop people living their lives?

Continence issues are a massive taboo issue and cause a complete loss of dignity when you have to seek treatment for them. Have you experienced them because if you haven't I don't think you are in any position to judge and derail what was a supportive thread with such a horrible comment. There are days when if someone had made a comment like that to me it would have been enough to tip me over the edge.

OP I completely understand where you are. I'm a year post birth doubly incontinent and haven't seen the women's health physio since August when I have been diagnosed with severe pelvic floor dysfunction that needs to trial physio. My appointment was cancelled by the hospital this week to be rescheduled after christmas. Luckily i've just gone back to work so now can afford to see a private physio which after one appointment did more for me than 4 appointments over 12 months with the nhs. Still waiting for investigations to see if bowel incontinence is caused by nerve damage from forceps or a missed third degree tear... hoping one day I might be able to have more bowel control, i'd take living with urinary incontinence if they could just sort the bowel stuff out.

Reading this thread with interest, as had my first appt with the physio this morning. I really hope you get seen and taken seriously soon OP, sounds awful.

Winnie I hope you went, as I've been lucky and have found the experience really good in my area from my GP examining me to getting the appt was only 3wks.

I have urinary incontinence and a prolapse (also get the poo trying to escape through wrong passage thing) and have been advised to strengthen pelvic floor and poo with my knees up on a stool. She advised holding off surgery as long as I can, as I would most likely need a second surgery later in life which is less successful. Both sis and mum suffer too, she said it was probably heriditary as I'm hypermobile so have loser joints and muscles, (though a long second stage with my 9lb, big headed DS didn't help things).

I have a bladder prolapse following the birth of my DD 7 years ago. I also developed PTSD from my horrific birth experience and I believe assault, and resulting hysterectomy aged 22. I fought for 5 years to be seen 18 months for them to try everything else and finally agreed I need 'urgent' surgery 6 months ago. I'm still waiting for a date! I despair for the NHS I really do, and I can only see it's getting worse. If I had the money I'd go private in a heartbeat. I'm going to follow shallI wonderful post. Good luck everyone x

I know the advice to fight your corner is well intended, but I do think it's easy to forget that a person battling serious illness and pain is not always able to muster those resources.

Is there anyone you can enlist to help out? I was lucky to have a friend's dad who knew some people, who did all the finding out for me about who to see privately and got it down to a list of two for me. It helped enormously.

If you see a consultant privately who also works within the NHS you can ask that's your NHS funding be transferred to their operating base for treatment. That way, you get seen for £250 and are then in their NHS gang.

I did this for orthopaedic stuff that was not in the usual line of my local area, and it worked out very well. Heard about it from a friend who did similar to get better treatment for her kid than the locals could do. You see the consultant in Harely street or wherever, then they write to the GP and you request a transfer of funds. They are more willing to transfer funds if you can give good reasons why the local area isn't able to treat you so well.

So sorry you're going through this. I had 15 years undiagnosed fobbed off joint problems, and it is utterly demoralising and debilitating.

I have an appointment to see a GP tomorrow about this exact problem.

I will probably cancel now ...!

Vaginal prolapse surgery at a top London hospital will be in the region of 7-10k with some clinics outside london doing it for 3-5k. If you have the money, you could pay for it?

OP, I feel sad and angry for you in equal measures. Unless there's been negligence I don't see the point getting a solicitor to complain. NHS statistics don't differentiate between who complains, a complaint goes down regardless. I think describing what's happened to you in your own words will be much more powerful.
I used the FOI against my local NHS trust in relation to one of my children who had waited 2 years to be seen by a LHA speech therapist (he was later diagnosed with Aspergers) and it worked a treat.
Worth trying a private consulation to bump yourself up the NHS list. Don't spend the money if you don't have to. But it sounds like you may need vaginal as well as colorectal surgery which will increase the cost although will be done at same time. This was the plan for me - but then the gynae decided that prolapse wasn't bad enough and I think he was right, it doesn't give me any bother and until he pointed it out I hadn't noticed it. So I just had the colorectal surgery.
I am shocked that PPs are saying their GPs won't refer them. I got referred without any problem at all (the only mistake was GP assumed it was a gynae problem when it wasn't). Were these female GPs? All I can suggest is to go back and insist or, if it's affordable, self refer privately (just for the consultation).
My tests took months. I had first consultation in November and waited until march for some of the tests, then finally had surgery in the June. There were lots of different tests I had to have to assess the damage higher up.
Good luck, I really hope you can make progress.

Aww Monkey, that's so sad, if only I could win the flaming lottery, I'd pay for you both, to be mended. ☹️

No advice sadly, but I feel your pain. Literally at times. I am in the same boat pretty much. Doctors don't care, wont even refer me to people who can help. Reckon its not 'bad enough' to need correcting even though I struggle to poo, have to do something I am told the proper word is 'splinting', and am often in a lot of pain. I barely have a sex life as I feel disgusting. And no, its not serious enough for help. Fuck that.

If you're already on a waiting list, it's worth phoning and asking if there's been any cancellations.

Have you asked about the costs of going private? We constantly have this kind of trouble and when we finally decided to pay privately for ds to have surgery the operating only cost £350. We got the bill in the post.

I'm sorry you're having all this trouble. We're in a very similar situation and I'm considering a private GP, thinking hard about it though as he charges £84 for 15 minutes.

I remember my GP actually refered me to Burns and Plastics in the end. That got me an appointment within the month to see the head professor of gynaecology for the area. I'm still not sure how that one worked exactly. GP said she could do it because it wasn't totally out of plastic surgery's expertise but she knew they would send it down to gynae anyway. Worked a treat in terms of actually seeing someone and getting the surgery.

Hi OP

I have not read past the first page and I DO think this is a feminist issue, but....

It is not necessarily different for men.

DH has had severe ED problems since his mid-20s (now late 30s). ED can be a sign of circulatory/ cardio problems I believe. In his case they were also related to chronic prostatitis which left him in too much pain to walk properly sometimes.

Over 10 years, and 3 different GP practices, do you know how many consultant referrals he got? 0.

How many even just basic physical exams by the GP themselves? 0.

They did however give him a bumper pack of antibiotics to take if his prostatitis symptoms came on

It only changed when we were ttc and couldn't because of his issues. I basically made him go to the GP every time he had an attack of prostatitis. When he'd gone 4 times between Feb and June, they finally referred him to a consultant andrologist who saw him once and said that this happens to some men and he'd hopefully grow out of it.

That was 7 years ago. He hasn't.

I don't have any advice but just wanted to give you these and say YANBU at all, provision for women's health is fucking atrocious and no one but those affected seem to give a shiney shite. It's utterly infuriating

Sounds utterly shit OP & I hope you can get it sorted.

This government couldn't give a monkeys about the NHS or anyone who needs to use it and unless the public start understanding what they are doing (underfunding, dismantling, quietly selling it off..) with it before it is too late it will only get worse. The people who work on the front line for the NHS are incredible and providing the best service they can despite massive cuts, lack of funding and adversity.

Thank goodness they have the money to spend 200 billion on trident though eh !?

My daughter was on the waiting list for an operation. After 6 months of chasing up with the consultants secretary to be then informed that it would be another 6 months wait at least, I told the gp to write a letter. She did, because my daughter was repeatedly going to A&E, including 999 call where they gave her morphine, during this wait for the operation.

I then left it 2 weeks, rang secretary back and said if she didnt get a date within a month I was going to the papers, put it all over the internet etc.
She got a date the very next day, for the op with the same consultant but at a different hospital, and had the op a month later.

Sometimes you do have to push push push. Shouldnt have to but if you want it sorting, pull your finger out and dont let it drop.

yanbu

I have had a rectocele for 17yrs, since the birth of my child aged 16. I had years (14) of Drs saying they had no idea why my poo settled in a pocket of back passage inside my vagina and had to be digitally removed, until I finally found a corner of mumsnet where it was discussed, and a physio who had had the same symptoms and could diagnose the problem with a two minute conversation.

No treatment offered. The NHS physio I saw advised me to get private consultation and take the results back to my NHS GP, as that was what she'd had to do.

Men wouldn't have to put up with similar.

I wholeheartedly agree with you, and I think that, while the practical advice given by other posters is very good, it's shocking and humiliating that you have to cry and describe incontinence in detail to be taken seriously. Hope you get the help you need

Having had continous gynaecological problems since I was a toddler I fully agree with you that women's health issues are misunderstood and woefully underfunded. I had major vulval surgery when I was 20 and the surgeon said if I got sore - if - to take two paracetomal and lie down. I had 25 stitches and couldn't walk for a week.

I also collapsed , completely blacked out at my work in February with what felt like period pain. Work sent me to A&E who said it wasnt an emergency and to contact my GP. Funnily enough, the male GP on duty didn't want to know and said as I always complained of period pain surely I was used to it and could wait for a routine appointment. I had to then phone gynaecology myself and they saw me within an hour thank God , I was in 'cervical shock' and my mirena was too small for me (despite me complaining for 2 years noone noticed this before).

And they question why I'm frightened of pelvic exams - I've been shouted at, had my legs forced over the bed rails so I couldn't stop them if I wanted to, been left humiliated and feeling dirty and all sorts.

I sometimes feel like noone gives a shit. My GP , my own one not the ones on duty etc, understands but I think only because she has fibroids too. She gets it, I don't feel afraid with her and she makes me feel like I am worthy of respect from other HCPs.

I sometimes want to write it all down and send it to someone in my NHS board. I doubt that would help though and why should I have to tell strangers about my vulva and uterus and ovaries? It's crap, I really really feel for you and wish I could come see you with a big bottle that we can drown our upset in!