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AIBU?

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Original poster

to expect my SIL to keep her ds at table while my dd is still eating ?

146 replies

PoppyPie · 11/02/2007 21:38

Otherwise she naturally wants to get down too and she hasn't eaten anything.My SIL just didn't bother while her DS of 4 went off with DD's games and it messed up the entire dinner.

OP posts:
wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 11/02/2007 22:40

I do agree with cod on this. a 4 year old should be capable of sitting at the table, even if you choose not to make them. There is nothing more annoying than going to a restaurant with children running riot around it.

my ds has been sitting at table since he was 3 at least, and before that in pizza hut and similar.

hunkermunker · 11/02/2007 22:39

Depends how each is done, but broadly, I agree with you Hillary.

northerner · 11/02/2007 22:39

Cod you make me larf.

OK, he does sit down, especially when it's pizza. He likes pizza. If it was something he wasn't too keen on, like my home made jerusleum artichoke soup he would be a night mare.

Hillary · 11/02/2007 22:39

Yes hunkermunker she'l be 3 soon but she's always ate at the table from being in a highchair.

I don't think eating at a dinner table and showing table manners is any more a way of creating a child with eating problems than a child eating in front of the tv.

northerner · 11/02/2007 22:37

I digress, but we got our kitten from an old woman who lived on a farm. When we got their she had to call her son, so she called up the stairs 'BIG SON'

And down came big son (he was in his 50's) and through out the conversation she called him big son.

Wonder if she had a little son too?

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 22:36

Message withdrawn

Hillary · 11/02/2007 22:36

Yes hunkermunker she'l be 3 soon but she's always ate at the table from being in a highchair.

I don't think eating at a dinner table and showing table manners is any more a way of creating a child with eating problems than a child eating in front of the tv.

Skribble · 11/02/2007 22:36

Its only torture if you make it, I love mealtimes, as I said we are relaxed and still mange to sit at a table for most meals together.

I am refering more to those who don't seem to take attention spans into consideration and think endurance sessions at the table show good manners and anyone who lets their child leave the table before every last adult are breeding unrespectful badly behaved neds.

nzshar · 11/02/2007 22:35

If my ds or dss does not like the food placed in front of them then they know that nothing will be said but nothing more will be offered. But they are still included in the conversations and wait until everyone has eaten, therefore no issues about food but still having a family time.

booge · 11/02/2007 22:35

Ahh a nice Fray Bentos in front of the telly, those were the days...

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 11/02/2007 22:35

"the child".

reminds me of when we went to look at a house once, we were shown into the second bedroom and the vender said "this is the boy's room". I found that utterly bizarre. room was decorated in football style etc and just figured he was prob teen or something but why "the boy"?

I met him some months later. he was 17 and a buss driver.

Original poster
PoppyPie · 11/02/2007 22:35

SIL probably does think that, fair enough.

OP posts:
northerner · 11/02/2007 22:34

Do you not think we have tried to teach him?

He is fucking unteachable when it comes to this I tell you.

hunkermunker · 11/02/2007 22:33

Cod, we DO eat as a family.

It's just me swinging my legs and going "Can I get down now?" while the boys snarf their way through three courses.

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 22:32

Message withdrawn

northerner · 11/02/2007 22:32

My 4 year old ds is a shite eater. Will not sit still for 5 minutes to eat a meal, will use any distraciion possible to get dopwn/stop eating/go to bathroom etc.

I would have to strap him to chair for him to wait till everyone had finished.

I do bloody cart wheels if he eats half of his dinner....

Different strokes, different expectations and all that.

fireflyfairy2 · 11/02/2007 22:32

Listen, there are table manners & then there is just plain picky. She has already said she dislikes her nephew [so sad] so this thread never really was about table manners.

Skribble · 11/02/2007 22:31

Thats fine for children that are enjoying their meals I am talking about parents who put a great deal of pressure on kids and then expect them to sit nice and eat it all up. Some parents get very uptight about meals and can make children feel very uncomfortable about the whole thing hence eating problems.

hunkermunker · 11/02/2007 22:31

Hillary, your DD's 2.5 though.

booge · 11/02/2007 22:31

Why should sitting at the table be torture, our meal times are fun (usually).

nzshar · 11/02/2007 22:29

I think there is a difference between having a family meal where conversations about the day just gone, events to happens, what was seen at the park etc is very very different to sitting still and quiet till everyone is done.

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 22:29

Message withdrawn

Hillary · 11/02/2007 22:28

My DD's not uner pressure or tense she eats more than anyone and has respect for table manners, its just the norm for her.

Skribble · 11/02/2007 22:28

You are excused cod Ahem Cod straighten you knife and fork please!

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 11/02/2007 22:28

my 4 yo stays at the table until everyone has finished. I believe it is good manners and that's what I teach in my house. However, not everyone teaches that and I think it is very judgemental to expect others to bring up their children to your standards.

he gets down from the table because he is permitted to do so by his parents. If that's the way he has been brought up that is the way he will be. I agree some 4 year olds can be unpleasant, but IMO you just don't like him and whatever he did wouldn't be good enough for you.

"arogant"

a 4 year old?

hmmmm.