I have refused to go on a course on DS's birthday

I couldn't not see my son at all on his birthday, especially for a course I wasn't excited about and didn't want to do, which was miles away. I know plenty of male bosses who wouldn't have a problem escaping jelly and screaming party kids duty as well though.

BTW

this is something i feel very strongly about"

I should have put a commer in before this bit, because it hasnt sounded how i meant it to sound, when i said THIS i mean being there for birthday's is something i feel very strongly about.

Of course it does PD, i wasn't saying people who work on their children's birthday don't put their kid's first. Just that for me being there and making a big fuss on my kid's birthdays is a big part of putting my kid's first the same way as feeding and clothing them iyswim.

"My children come before anything at all. I work to support them and be there for them this is something i feel very strongly about"

think that goes for all of us,lmg

I don't blame you at all MamaGrr, good for you!!!!

I don't work on birthdays - ever, never have never will.

My children come before anything at all. I work to support them and be there for them this is something i feel very strongly about, I also like my family to make an effort to be around for birthdays if they can't make it then that's fine i don't throw a hissy fit but if they can arrange to be around i prefer it

Now i am self employed i actually don't even get paid to take these days off but i still do it I love not rushing them opening thier presents being able to have a leisurely morning, then going out for the day/ having a party with the people close to me. I like going to the effort of making their birthday special. Everyday i try to give them good childhood memories and this is part of that.

This year i have already planned dd1's birthday which is in august and we are ging away on holiday and on her actual birthday we are going to an alice in wonderland adventure place, she's already talking about ti

i didn't see ds on his birthday, he was on holiday with his daddy, i know it's different but tbh i didn't see it as an issue, he had no idea he wasn't seeing me on his actual birthday, we just did it the day before

I can't IMAGINE what it must be like to miss a birthday. Especially as you won't be there when he wakes up.
Next year dd1 will be in Russia on her 16th birthday and already I feel sad that she won't be here with us.

What does your dh do Mamagrr? could he bring ds to London with you and you could stay an extra night and have a nice time in London?

when I had a job with more flexibility in terms of holidays I would often take the day off. Seemed important ot me when they were very young but now they have school and I don't have flexibility and it doesn't bother me. We still make sure they enjoy their birthdays.

Agree with blu

Yes, that's true. There are people who have to get home before the sun goes down on Friday for religious reasons who will always make that a priority. Others who would never dream of working on Sundays. Others who have a day off to grieve on the anniversary of a parent's death or whatever. My sister is going to have to do some work away from home on her/her twins birthday and it's a big thing and she doesn't want to do it exactly for your reasons. So we were just talking about this very issue how to her to miss a birthday is just so absolutely dreadful and to me it's neither here nor there when you celebrate it. in fact some religions people don't have a birthday celebration at all or they celebrate their saint's day instead or whatever.

Yes, often away on their birthdays. 5 children over 22 years both of us always working full time, of course you often miss birthdays. The sky doesn't fall in. It's only a big thing if you make it so and the children have a lovely party at a weekend when you know work is unlikely to intrude. So may be changing the mind set so someone doesn't mind about it is the best way to ensure the problem doesn't arise against over the next 20 years when clashes occur.

My assistant and I organised outdoor ice skating and then consumption of terrifying quantities of cuban cocktails for our organisation to bond over....

Oh definitely do the same course later in manchester.....

Okay, in that case it's just a question of what is culturally normal in different families. Some go in for birthdays as a big thing and others don't or celebrate them at the weekends when both parents are free, no homework to do, relaxed day etc which is what we always did. Depends if you want to annoy your employer or not. A 3 year old in 3 years time won't know one way or the other whether you were there but it's obviously important to you, something a lot of people won't agree with because it doesn't feel as important to them.

tbh - I wouldn't make a big fuss of my ds 3rd bday (coming up in March) - if it is a work day. His bday will just be the weekend before or after the event. He'll get a cake etc at nursery - but we'll make a fuss on the weekend.

[fierce AND NASTY boss emoticon]

Is it the corporate team building they want you to do?

But they're not asking her just to work - they are asking her to be away from home overnight and work/travel for work until midnight the next day. In those circumstances I think you are entirely justified in saying no - just as I think you would be entirely unjustified in refusing to go on a course on your childrens birthday if it was held within normal workig hours.

"I've always had to work on dd1s birthday and I've never thought not to.
think it's a bit odd that you have refused to go"

I was going to write what hana wrote.

oresumably i t's just your bad planning. Had you 5 months ago put it down for annual leave they couldn't impose it on you. Or did you do that and now they're forcing you to change long arranged holiday plans?

I would refuse to go in these circumstances, in fact my immediate manager wouldn't even ask if he realised it clashed with a family birthday like this.

Would also expect DH to refuse, although sometimes he does have to work on their birthdays.

[fierce boss emoticon]