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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder if any of you have had social services involved after an accidental injury?

65 replies

MigraineMartie · 24/03/2016 07:50

Title says it all really
Just wondering as although our involvement was a long time ago and very short lived it still upsets me when I think about it - anyone else?

OP posts:
Piemernator · 24/03/2016 09:27

DS broke his leg and had to have stitches in his head within a 2 month period when he was 14 months old. I must admit I did think it looked bad but nothing happened. I also remember a colleague having very accident prone children and they were always at A&E. I sometimes think it depends who is on duty and their interpretations of guidelines but I also wonder if it something else and harder to put in to words.

The 2 injuries my baby suffered in a short period were bad so why were we not looked at further. We are Dr and Mrs Piemernator and speak confidently, I remember one of the Docs asking where I worked and she was delighted in my reply as she had studied there.

sooperdooper · 24/03/2016 09:26

Years ago now but my sister broke both her arms within 6 months of each other when she was about 8 and ss checked in on us, nothing more happened but at least it showed they were following up on unusual unjuries

Collaborate · 24/03/2016 09:26

SS take their lead from medical professionals. They only get concerned when the parental account of what happened is inconsistent with the physical injury. They can usually tell when someone's lying about a fracture. Non-accidental broken bones look different to accidental breaks.

wanderings · 24/03/2016 09:21

Not exactly ss involvement, but I remember a time my 6-year-old brother had a burn on his hand at home, and a teacher at primary school took me aside at playtime and asked me to confirm what had happened. So "safeguarding" was happening then.

TheRightThingToDo · 24/03/2016 09:16

We've had a broken arm, a cut head and a couple of admissions with bronchiolitis all within 6 months and all A&E (his middle mane shaped have been Danger)

No phone calls or contact - although I did expect it after the head and arm as they were pretty close together X

hippoherostandinghere · 24/03/2016 09:14

When my DD was one she broke her leg. It's was so easily done, she was running in the hall way, turned and fell and sustain a spiral fracture to her tibia. A week or so later a HV called at the house but I was at work, kids were at childminders. Dh just explained what happened and we didn't hear any more from them. Then last year she had an ENT op in Jan, 2 weeks after that she broke her arm, she fell off a chair in my parents kitchen. 1 week after that we were back in ED because she had shoved tissue right up her nose and needed it suctioned out. She was 3 when all this happened.

I was pretty worried what would happen after all this, but a HV phoned my house a few weeks later to check how she was and that was all I heard.

JoffreyBaratheon · 24/03/2016 09:10

There's been police and SS involvement with our neighbours - but still they get two very young kids left alone with them, despite some obviously overwhelming problems. My own kids have often had to listen to them calling their 3 and 5 year olds things you 'c!$t', 'little shit', 'retard' etc and have heard a few incidents that sound like someone being slammed against something, then a child cries. (And yes we called the SS/police/contacted the NSPCC).

Last summer, another neighbour overheard an incident where the 3 year old got burned when they were BBQing. And rather than rush the child to hospital, she says they were arguing loudly for ten minutes whose fault it was - the man trying to blame the woman and vice versa, presumably so they'd have the story straight at A & E. My neighbour thought, from what she heard, it was an accident but we did wonder if the kids might finally get taken into care after it (parents are permanently pissed/drugged up so even an 'accident' might point to negligence, esepcially with people with form). But no. The SS signed them off ages ago and no-one even seems to have been remotely suspicious even when the child was burned.

So in the context of an otherwise uneventful family with no prior form, no relationship with the coppers and the SS - I think the days of the SS charging in and running off with your kids are long gone. Seeing as they seem to leave actually abused kids in situ, now.

My worst one was when my 4th son stuck his toe into the piping hot tap when he was in the bath and got a nasty burn on his big toe. It happened right at the time his birth dad was dragging me through the courts for residency and trying to prove I was a crap parent and the kids ad a guardian ad litem, who was a social worker, as part of the court process. Totally nothing happened. Ex never got to hear of the accident, and everyone was perfectly satisfied I was an OK parent, and not neglectful just because my toddler had stupidly stuck his toe in a tap!

hellsbells99 · 24/03/2016 09:10

3 visits to A&E when DD1 was 1, resulted in a phone call and home visit from my health visitor but no SS.

IceMaiden73 · 24/03/2016 09:10

Yes my friends son broke his leg and had SS involvement as she didn't know how he had done it

I wouldn't take it personally they are just trying to protect children, and for every 100 that don't lead anywhere there is always that chance that 1 trip will save a child's life x

firesidechat · 24/03/2016 09:07

The cut, concussion and wrist were all on separate occasions and involved a visit to a and e.

firesidechat · 24/03/2016 09:06

We had a cut head, mild concussion and a broken wrist and no ss involvement.

I don't count the later ones because the children were teenagers and they were sports related.

Genx77 · 24/03/2016 08:53

I was worried about this, 3 trips to a&e in 6 months but never heard anything from SS

Crazypetlady · 24/03/2016 08:52

Ss

Crazypetlady · 24/03/2016 08:51

I worry about this. I've phoned nhs direct Wales twice this week as ds 9 months has a sickness bug. I know it's not accidental injury but because they take the name and address and log it I just worry. It's irrational. But I did phone when ds fell off the sofa and there was no so involvement.

newmumwithquestions · 24/03/2016 08:12

Yes. It makes my blood boil just thinking about what they were like. Ours wasn't an accidental injury, it was a small birth mark on my newborn baby that was called into them as it looked a bit like a bruise. Not SS fault they were called but totally their fault the way they treated us and have had absolute refusal that they would do anything differently in the future. SS didn't follow their own procedures (didn't arrange paediatric consultant check to confirm what it was) but instead decided to storm in and put protection measures in place. I have letters from midwife and GP confirming that they told the social services that (a) they didn't think the mark was a bruise (midwife) and (b) that they did not think baby had been harmed or was at risk from harm (GP). There is nothing in our history of anything that would cause concern (I've been police checked in the past to work with kids) and I had a 'textbook pregnancy with a wanted baby' where I had 'taken great care to ensure the pregnancy progressed well' (my notes, think that basically means I went to my antenatal appts and didn't smoke/drink etc).

They were truly hideous and I don't think I'll ever get over it. I'd always been pretty respectful that some people have to do a difficult job under difficult circumstances and that in general people in authority are trying to help. Now I'm suspicious of what anyone's motives are.

If it isn't too painful/personal, was your experience?