Mums in the boys' swimming changing rooms?

8 YEAR OLD THREAD
Kid probably grown up now

I understand your point. If you take your son into the ladies room, female classmates or neighbors and friends might be in there, and neither your son or the girls would be comfortable being seen naked by each other.

I would have never gone into men's changing room with df. Mind you he went once to local pool with my brother. Wasn't his thing, 70s child.

12!

If she leaves something behind then check her bag when she comes out or pick it up from lost property. You can't make a 12 year old strip naked in front of adult men because you are worried a hair bobble might go astray.

Welcome to MN, OP. What a night.

When I was 8 or 9 I used to go to swimming lessons at school and sort myself out. 12 is secondary age. Shouldn't you be encouraging independence and privacy?

Halloween Your DD of 11 has no business being in a men's changing room. That's for men. There may be too many places from which men wrongly exclude women, I dare say there are, but that is not one of them. it is not fair to her and it is grossly unfair to them. It's up to you to train her not to leave things behind and to rinse and dry her hair properly.

YADNBU
Interesting to see thoughts on age DC should be able to sort themselves out. My DD is 11 and would more than likely leave something behind, nor rinse her hair properly, not dry her hair enough etc etc. 8 is way too young. IMHO 12-ish is more reasonable. Suppose it also depends on how developer they are...

YADDDNBUMy daughter just started new lessons & it was in the intro letter that children must use the changing room linked to the adult with thems gender. I thought it was a bit obvious but guess not!

Very awkward. A lady keeps bringing her 9 /10 year old son to our toddler swimming class. It is very awkward getting undressed and dressed before him and there is an enormous sign on the door saying that it is a girls' changing room and from the age of 9/10 boys need to go into the boys changing room etc. He doesn't actually join the class as it is a toddler session but I guess he is at a loose end. I am no prude, but it is tiring to try and hide your bits at every opportunity. Normally I wouldn't care bit it will soon be very cringey for him.

It is also a problem if the pool is attached to a hotel or gym complex. I didn't want my 10yr old DS going to change on his own in a public men's changing room where there are no cubicles. Sometimes he would be the only kid there his age. Pools offering classes need to provide family changing rooms.

Bit late to the party here... But yadnbu. Between my dp, soon to be mil, and myself we always use the gender appropriate changing room for the adult with my DC (6 boy and 3 girl - on separate days fortunately!)
Never have I seen anyone even try to enter the "wrong" changing room. If they did I am sure that they would be politely but firmly asked to leave. I was asked recently to take a towel in to a 7year old who had forgotten it, so his mum Did not have to enter. There are signs up about public nudity though as it is not allowed due to the fact that it is used for lots of children's' swimming lessons so would be wholly inappropriate.

I'm not sure on the age policy as we use a university pool but 8 or 9 seems reasonable to me.

YANBU! We had the same problem in reverse at my DS's old swimming lessons - dads coming into the female changing rooms with their daughters and a couple of us spoke quietly to the staff who put up a sign asking adults to take their children into the changing room of the adult's gender. There were some older girls changing in the room who were clearly very embarrassed at having to change with a man present - this was an open changing room, no cubicles - and I can totally imagine boys feeling the same in the reverse situation.

Erm - if the 8 year old can't get dressed in their own - shouldn't they learn? Fast? They'd need to do it if they have school swimming lessons? So why not when they go with their parents? Sounds like their is a lot of smothering going to me!!

Obvs exceptions for special needs - but there should be seperate changing rooms for that! & absolutely no opposite sex adults in changing rooms!! Geeeze - isn't that an arrest able offence?!

I'm with you, OP.

If I had small boys with me, they would go into the women's changing room with me.

I'd be annoyed if a man was in the women's changing rooms, in fact it just wouldn't happen at our gym.

Op wasn't unreasonable at all. I wouldn't expect the opposite gender parent in the changing rooms.
Thr chabging rooms around us are all unisex/inidividial cubicles so it isnt an issue but My ds is 8 and I dread the day we go to a pool where I have to choose. My son is more than capable of dressing himself but I wouldn't be comfortable sending him into changing rooms away from me full of naked grown men. I don't even like sending him to the men's toilets.

I'd say 9/10 is way old enough to change by yourself. I did a LOT of swimming as a youngster, and I was changing myself from the age of about 6. I'd have been mortified to have my Mum flapping round me at 9!!

Am I the only one who really thinks bodies are just bodies, we've all seen naked? I really wouldnt and dont care. I use family changing where its available. There are cubicles for the shy. People just get dressed quickly..none of this strolling about in the buff malarkey. Maybe I'm just bot that bothered bing busy finding talc socks, goggles trainers etc to look !

Around here, 7 is the cutoff for children to be in the opposite gender's changing room; parents don't get to ever go in the opposite gender's changing room. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

And if a child has special needs, there are usually unisex disabled bathrooms or changing rooms available for such issues.

I CANNOT believe a woman is going into the MALE changing room to help change their son. The woman should go into the FEMALE changing room with their son. After the age of 8, should be more than capable of getting changed themselves, If my husband takes our daughter ( 9) he waits outside the changing room. When our son was young, he was helped with changing with me in the women's If a male was in the female changing rooms regardless of them changing their daughter, I would ask the staff to have a word and ask them to leave.

My 9 year old dgs goes into the men's changing room on his own. His 6 year old brother goes into the ladies' with me or his mum. If they are swimming at the same time they both go in the men's and the big one helps his brother.

Madness OP, she has no place in there.
Our local pool has been recently done out and it's mixed gender with lots of cubicals. Far better

My pool has a rule: ninth birthday and up. Not long ago I challenged a chap who was bringing in two girls - his daughter and his niece - who were obviously older: he agreed that they were 11. I said Sorry, they'll have to change in the women's side and he said They'll mess around and take all day and I said That's not my problem and another man joined in and agreed with me - and he very reluctantly gave way.

The other man and I were right. It is not acceptable to us to have girls of that age around while we are in a state of undress - even if father/uncle is content for them to undress in our presence, which I also find uncomfortable.

It's no doubt true that men are a greater danger to girls than women are to boys - although the risk is infinitesimal - but there has to be a line, it has to be the same both ways, and it has to be observed. Even if it is inconvenient and wastes good swimming time.

It was age 8 before the built the family village. It is also 8 and a good swimmer to go into pool without an adult.

That's so strange...

The age is 9 at our pool - so, if a child is 9 or under, they go in the changing room with their parent and it's what ever gender the parent is, not the other way around!