To find getting older so incredibly sad

I think maybe 35 is difficult because it is the age where in a superficial way, many women notice for the first time they no longer match the media ideal of youth. Maybe it is worse if you were very beautiful in your youth( never an issue for me) By the time you are you 40, 50, 60+ you have probably reached a degree of acceptance unless you are a Madonna or Nicole Kidman type.

Saw something on Facebook earlier.

Something about it being a privilege to grow old, because it's a pleasure denied to so many.

Made me feel better - awful year and still pining for DC2 who will likely never happen.

Made me think of a very close friend who didn't make it to 36.

Look after yourself op

I think the PP who said you are mourning the end of your youth is right. You just aren't old. You reallshouldnt have aches and pains either. However, if you look at the thread, those of us in outpr 50s ish seem happy and unworried about age. perhaps as you adjust to jot being actually young you'll get it all in perspective.
Whatever you say, getting older beats the alternative.

I had my first DC at 36. I blame that on feeling totally ancient now I'm 42

totally with you on this, I am 40. I went to my home town for Christmas and familiar faces are all so much older.

I had kids later in life and I hate getting old. I know it's a privilege and I am grateful for my beautiful children but my youngest will be 10 when I'm 50. I feel a pang of jealousy when those turning 50 talk about kids growing up and being teens.
For me, I had them at the right time. I just wish old age treats me well and I'm of healthy mind and body into my 80's.

I'm less bothered in my 40's than I was at your age.

I worry about that too Telephone but really, what can you do?

I am 34 and feel great about it. I don't know if I'll be privileged enough to see my 80s but I really want to. There is so much to do!

I feel the same. My brother died at 19 and I do remind myself how lucky I am and that not everyone gets to grow older. I just wish I could stop the clock for a while. My babies are getting older, my parents are getting older. Time is flying by and I wish it would just slow down a little.

I agree with those who have lost loved ones. My dd's best friend died when she was 17, a gorgeous girl with her whole life behind her- all gone.

I'm 50 and I don't like the idea of growing old BUT I much rather have wrinkles and the aches and pains, then the alternative.

What bothers me most about getting older, is the very real likelihood that I won't live to retirement age. Between the rising age of retirement & a health condition that's killed 2 of my grandparents & disabled my dad, I dread getting old. And I dread not getting old.

Don't believe the propaganda! The media and advertising are obsessed with youth. Retailers want you to worry about ageing so they can sell completely pointless anti-ageing potions.

Of course there are downsides to getting older but all the evidence is that, on average, people get happier as they age.

Everyone feels younger than they are. We all still think we're 17/24/27 etc. Time passing speeds up as you get older as well - just to cheer you up

But, unless you've got a medical condition, you shouldn't really be feeling too many aches and niggles at 35 though. You're in your prime.

I can empathise OP but I think I'd rephrase to say it's the letting go of youth that is sad. I'm 34 - we are not old by any stretch and there's still lots of good to come (touch wood!) but I do think your mud thirties is when you have to accept you aren't youthful any more, and that is hard to get your head around! I don't envy younger people their youth at all, I'm much more confident and sorted in myself now, but it's still a bit depressing when you think the endless 'opportunity' of youth is diminishing!

I'm not bothered about getting old. I don't need to be wrinkle free and bouncing all over the place to enjoy my life. I hope I live to be an old lady - it would be a privilege. My parents are in their mid 60's and are still fit and healthy and don't complain of aches and pains (they work more hours than I do as they run their own business) so I think how much you look after yourself counts. I am very fat and wouldn't say I feel older at 37 though I should do really! Yes it is sad that we all die one day but it is a part of life - I'd rather just ignore the inevitable and enjoy myself. I am hoping to get slimmer and healthier this year since I am getting on and need to be at my best to have the best chance of staying healthy for a long time!

I understand your point exactly, OP: and sometimes, when you see people you haven't seen in a while, the ageing process is brought suddenly into a minute perspective. In my head, my parents, aunts, cousins etc are all in their 30s - because that's my first memories of them: I look at them and find it hard to understand how quickly it is that they've become old people. Of course this happens, of course it's inevitable, of course many people die far too young - but I don't think it's completely unreasonable to feel a certain wistfulness at the passing of time even so.

It is sad...but it's better than the alternative. I had a brother who died young, so I remind myself of him. He would have loved to have been around now, although he too might have found my parents' ageing difficult - sorry not being smug and taking moral highground or anything, but saying why I don't totally hate ageing, more blaming the passing of time - the feeling it does run away from us.

Me too. My sibling only got a few hours so I never ever complain about ageing. Each year should be celebrated.

Old age is a privilege not afforded to everyone.

YABU I'm 49 and don't feel old at all. DS started university last October and me and DH are in our element as empty nesters. I started a new job in the summer as well that I really enjoy so feel like things are going really well at the moment. I'm too busy to dwell on aging but since I lost 2 stone last year I look better than I have done for awhile.

heh heh

I'm sure I felt worse about my age at 35 than I do now at fortycoughcoughmumble

I have no problem with getting old. In my 50s, have a job I like, been married my entire adult life, DCs are growing up and becoming independent, no real money worries ( though teenagers are expensive) and feel under zero pressure to look or behave a certain way. With age comes a realisation that some of the things I used to stress over really don't matter.

I was thinking the same earlier today- at 26. I know I'm nowhere near being old, but these past 10 years have flown by and I don't doubt the next 10 years will fly by as well. I still feel younger than what I actually am (I still feel the same as I did when I was about 21), and I'm nearing 30.
I was 16 10 years ago. I know to many people that will seem like nothing, but to me it just seems so surreal. It feels like only yesterday!

Oh for god's sake, all these people who are not 35 and keep saying 'Oh you're a spring chicken, 35's young, just you wait etc' please go and post on another thread.

I feel your pain, OP.

34 soon and man, can I feel it. Niggles, aches, knackered, the whole bit.

Teenagers look like my two year old! I see them driving and think 'They can't be legal!"

I'm dreading getting older. But in my head I'm still 18.