Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross with DH

65 replies

Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 13:31

I'm in hospital as a day patient, nothing serious but I've had to have a general so I can't do much.
"D" H has been pretty uninterested. He decided to go to work this morning, even though he said he would work from home which means I have had to drive myself in and spend the day alone. He's just called and said he's going to walk over to see me. Except I'm in a completely different hospital, which he has clearly overlooked. AIBU to feel neglected and frankly fucked off with his total disinterest?

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 10/09/2015 18:40

My DH doesn't respond well when I'm really ill either. Hugs op xxxx

Hassled · 10/09/2015 18:36

Hope he's sorted himself out by then. If this isn't what he's usually like, it really is bizarre behaviour. I think getting someone else to spell it out to him is a really good idea.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 17:39

They want to measure my pee, so I can't fake it!
He's apparently coming at 6.15. With the DCs, just what I want.

OP posts:
Namechangenell · 10/09/2015 17:34

Wow - you poor thing. It's at times like this people show their true colours. What an absolute arse he's being. Focus on you and he'lol just have to deal with the rest. In some ways, it would be great if you were to stay in an extra night as he'd then see just how much you do at home.

Do you have a good friend who can come and visit at least once you're home?

bilbodog · 10/09/2015 17:34

If you want to go home tell them you have peed even if you haven't. I learnt that when I was age 7 having my tonsils out - they wouldn't let me out until I had 'opened my bowels' nd I had to stay in an extra day and have vile medicine. I've just come out of hospital having had a knee replacement and just said 'yes' when they asked. It was never going to happen without my usual routine and breakfast !

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 17:27

Nope, unfortunately he's just being a Dick.

OP posts:
Hassled · 10/09/2015 17:18

Does he have issues around sickness etc - I know I have a tendency to be "for god's sake pull yourself man" when my nearest and dearest are ill but I'm actually using that to mask my catastrophising and general anxiety. Could it be something like that?

ObiWanCannoli · 10/09/2015 17:10

He's maybe worried or scared for you. My dh was like this but I'd had a seizure, he sent the neighbour with a message dc upset so he'd tried to see me tomorrow. Neighbour was lovely.

Eventually when he turned off his Borg function he could communicate and became extra kind, helpful and generally lovely.

Hopefully your dh will sort himself out soon.

catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 17:05

Oh just realised your BP is actually low. Maybe he's trying to get it higher?

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 10/09/2015 17:04

Do not pee for 3 days!

catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 17:02

If you need to stay in, get a nurse to call him and explain why.
I don't think his attitude is helping your BP.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 17:02

Without wanting to make excuses this is very out of character for him. Shockingly so.

OP posts:
Duckdeamon · 10/09/2015 17:02

Hope you're feeling OK soon.

He has been selfish and uncaring: don't excuse him. It is not OK.

Bet he doesn't need to have things explained and managed for him at work!

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 17:00

I might be in anyway as my bp is 102/57...

OP posts:
cailindana · 10/09/2015 17:00

You poor thing, he really is being a twat.

catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 16:59

Please speak to the ward staff before he comes and ask them to tell him what you will need for the next few days. I think he needs to hear this from someone else.
I honestly didn't realise how bad I'd feel after surgery. I have been totally honest and just said "Sorry, you're just going to have to deal with that" for anything I wasn't up to.
Mind you, you could always ask to be kept in...

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 16:59

I can't leave until I pee and as I can't pee on DH's command I can't tell him when I can leave.

I'm actually very upset. His attitude has been unusually shit.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 10/09/2015 16:56

"Functionally thick!"

Ha! I have one of those.

Poor man- having to do his own thinking for a change.

cailindana · 10/09/2015 16:56

Eh? Did he say you're not being helpful???

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 16:53

Well DH (now known as DickHead) is coming to see me later, with the DCs.

Apparently I'm not being very helpful!

OP posts:
Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 14:17

He turned up with my DF, then had a long conversation about who is picking the DCs up. Confused
I told them to sort it, DF then said I seem a bit peed off. Yup!

OP posts:
SheSparkles · 10/09/2015 14:10

To take your parents out of the equation is him
Getting a taxi to the hospital feasible? You will need help afte a GA though -I've had a few and they've knocked more out of me than the procedure I've had them for has Flowers in case he overlooks them!

Topseyt · 10/09/2015 14:07

What a dolt he sounds. Why didn't he drive you to the hospital this morning. He should have realised that you would be unable to drive after the procedure, and it would have made much more sense for him to have the car, especially as he needed to pick the kids up later.

He is an arse. Speak to your discharge nurse if you get the chance before he arrives to take you home. Ask if she will drum into him how much you need looking after for now.

I agree that he must be in charge of everything tonight as already suggested above. I would say also for the next few days.

TheBunnyOfDoom · 10/09/2015 14:02

Grin love that phrase!

catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 14:00

Chipped, I can relate to "functionally thick" Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread