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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross with DH

65 replies

Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 13:31

I'm in hospital as a day patient, nothing serious but I've had to have a general so I can't do much.
"D" H has been pretty uninterested. He decided to go to work this morning, even though he said he would work from home which means I have had to drive myself in and spend the day alone. He's just called and said he's going to walk over to see me. Except I'm in a completely different hospital, which he has clearly overlooked. AIBU to feel neglected and frankly fucked off with his total disinterest?

OP posts:
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Topseyt · 11/09/2015 20:40

It may be just a blip then, hence why he seemed sheepish before.

Perhaps he knew he had cocked up.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 11/09/2015 18:32

Thanks Top
I've been ill before and he's been great, which is probably why I'm so annoyed.

He isn't generally a manchild either, he's very hands on. He gets the DCs up and takes them to school when I'm working, ferries them around to their activities and isn't a stranger to hardwork!

OP posts:
Topseyt · 11/09/2015 18:11

OP, sorry, how rude of me. I do hope you are improving now.

A kilo if rice!! Is that dinner for a week? Grin

Topseyt · 11/09/2015 18:09

I would bet that most of these DHs who behave so badly when their wives are ill or in hospital would expect to be waited on hand and foot if it were them. They would milk it for all it was worth.

My DH has never been too bad whenever I have been ill, which hasn't been too often, but has happened. He tries to get me to rest, which is no mean feat in itself, and will make cups of tea/coffee as required. OK, the kids were fed sandwiches for every meal, with the occasional takeaway, but he did it, and everyone survived.

The last time I needed a hospital procedure he was there to drive. He isn't a cook, but did buy a pub lunch on the way home which was nice.

Some of these others do need to pull themselves together and at least try.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 11/09/2015 17:38

I hope you recover soon Queen.

I'm now watching DH cook nearly a kilo of rice for dinner...

OP posts:
QueenArnica · 11/09/2015 11:17

Firstly have some Flowers, hope you're feeling ok.

I'm a week on from a radical hysterectomy and lymphectomy following a cervical cancer diagnosis. My dh has been incredible, he has stopped work for 2 weeks purely to look after me and the dc. He had changed catheters, held me when I've cried, fed me, washed my nighties and given me an enema!

I'm sorry your dh is being such a twunt at a time when you feel sore and vulnerable. Silent treatment and clipped tones aren't going to work, tell him how you feel and why. Lots of love and gentle hugs xxx

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 11/09/2015 11:08

Well, more a sheepish sort of teenage moping...

OP posts:
TheBunnyOfDoom · 11/09/2015 11:04

Ah, so he's sulking then!

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 11/09/2015 10:50

Because he's in the doghouse and I've made it quite clear that I'm pissed off at him.

OP posts:
TheBunnyOfDoom · 11/09/2015 10:26

Why is he barely speaking to you?

He needs to step up.

catzpyjamas · 11/09/2015 09:55

Have a takeaway menu and his credit card to hand Wink

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 11/09/2015 09:42

I'm dosed up on co-codamol, we've hardly said a word, but he has said he'd get dinner ready using the slow cooker.
That will be interesting...

OP posts:
catzpyjamas · 11/09/2015 09:32

How are you feeling this morning. Chipped? Hope you're being well looked after.

TPel · 10/09/2015 23:04

Samosa that is truly shocking. I am speechless.

Namechangenell · 10/09/2015 22:48

Samosa - that is awful. Please don't put yourself through that again!

EngTech · 10/09/2015 21:18

Hope you feeling a bit better

From a male perspective - I got my ear bent for being a "Mother Hen" and to stop fussing when my OH had a GA !!!!!

But at least I tried to do the right thing

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 20:40

I'm home and he's washing up. I'm going to not discuss it until I am feeling a bit less "foggy" as its not worth the argument. He'll probably apologise tomorrow which will calm me a bit!

Samosa that's very unkind of him, mine is a knob at times but this is an exceptional example.

Thanks for all the good wishes!

OP posts:
FoxesSitOnBoxes · 10/09/2015 20:31

Hope you are home and he's stopped being a dickFlowers

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 10/09/2015 20:30

Hope you're ok.

catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 20:27

Samosa Shock

Chipped, I hope you got home and are being waited on, hand and foot.

SingingSamosa · 10/09/2015 20:17

My DH is really rubbish when it comes to me being ill or incapacitated too. I recently had to have a colonoscopy done (a fairly regular thing as I have IBD) and because DH said he would be far too busy with work (even though he was working from home on that day), I had to have the procedure done without sedation - in order for me to be able to drive myself home afterwards. It was agony!

LumpySpacedPrincess · 10/09/2015 18:49

A lot of men don't like it when their wives are ill, incredibly knobbish behaviour. I think you see someones true character in situations like this.

LindyHemming · 10/09/2015 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 18:46

I'm trying not to be a bitch but I'm so cross.
Said he would be here at 6.15, called at 6.30 saying he would be here at 7.30 as he's off to drop the DCs at my Mum's, because its a school night!?!?

I've verbally tore him a new hole and he's coming over now. I probably wouldn't mind if he grovelled a little bit, but he isn't. I've told him I'm one step closer to divorcing him helpful

On the bright side I can pee and shuffle so I should be home tonight.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 10/09/2015 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.