AIBU to think MIL is being a bit creepy?

Ah, I get you!

I bet really it's this one :

www.allbeauty.com/productPaging.php?productId=7639&ref=pla&utm_source=pla&utm_medium=FREE&cm_mmc=pla--Free--Listing-_-7639¤cy=GBP&country=48&&gclid=Cj0KEQjw_YKtBRC7zZjFp8bF_foBEiQAfyigc124WpoDYLyQ06n1pR-SuqZI4ylMr9qKwCZnJH1lxjwaAkVf8P8HAQ

Also to add, does none of the YABU's ever get miffed if someone they like copy something they wear/buy? Not even a little bit? If you got, say, a Links bracelet as a special anniversary gift would you be happy if your friend got the exact same one directly after asking about yours? After all, they are widely available.

Thanks Crystal.
But is it really Cartier Panthere?

Do all the YABU's not mind if anyone they know, whether they like them or not, copies anything about them? (genuine question). Eg if someone you actively don't like asks (via someone else!) where you got your shoes from would you take it as a compliment, really, and fall over yourself to tell them or would you think "sod off, actually". Because if you are keen to tell them, you are all better people than I

Asking after someone's perfume (or other personal item) is usually a compliment on a long-standing framework of pleasantries or niceties, or it's a "building bridges" compliment (which would also be accompanied by other building bridges gestures). As a stand-alone question, in a setting that is not friendly, it's hardly a compliment. What if at the very least MIL just likes the perfume?

It's Cartier Panthere, Jenen. OP mentioned it earlier. It sounds lovely, from the reviews I've read.

I'm a yabu, it's a compliment.

I agree with your husband too.

I would take it as a compliment.

Abbaddo, any chance you could tell US the name of your perfume?

It only becomes a problem when your nearest and dearest hijack your perfume and start wearing it around you.
it wouldn't mater if some of us were to wear the same perfume as you.

So, can tell us?
pretty please

Or send me a pm

Think of the the most horrid shit smelling perfume and let him know that's what you were wearing......simple and evil in one go.

Abbadoo you are not being odd. I totally get it!

You don't get on that well. You are her DS's wife. Why would she want to smell just the same? There's hundreds of perfumes out there.

Depending on how manipulative she is, she might well not even care for your perfume, but knows it will piss you off that she is planning to wear your perfume (or make you think she is). If she liked it that much, it's so memorable after 7 months, why didn't she ask you in a friendly way at the time? But no, she's not even asked you directly now, she has asked via your DH which sort of sends the message "I don't want to speak to you directly but I want what you have".

Also, as every woman knows, perfume is often a signature or has meaningful memory connections and if she starts wearing your perfume it won't have the same connections for you or for DH any more, after that. She's treading on your toes and she know it and you know it. Your DH does not want to know it.

Either tell her and move onto another perfume, or tell her the name of a similar smelling perfume and keep your own a secret. Whatever you do, do not moan or pass comment to your DH about it as he has made it clear he is on your MIL's side so it would be bonus for your MIL if you have a row or squabble with DH about it. Just do what you do privately and whinge to your friends or here about it.

I didn't want DH thinking of his DM when with me

Exactly.
Smell is very powerful.

I understand where the OP is coming from.

This is a perfume that her husband has, more than likely ,complimented her on a lot. He, without realising it, smells it and associates it 'mentally' with close, romantic moments between the two of them.

Now imagine if his mother starts wearing the same perfume.
So the smell of his wife is going to make him think of his mother, probably at moments when you really don't want to be thinking of your mother!

Perfume is personal for this reason.

Really? Would all you saying "Still wear it" think the same if your father in law suddenly started wearing the same aftershave as your DH? Or your DH wanted to wear (and thus smell like) the same aftershave as your dad?

Maybe the OP shouldn't have used the word "creepy" but smell is so evocative that really it would make me feel a bit icky. ('scuse the word - can't think of the right sort of urgh phrase and though it is a bit twee it seems to fit).

I was totally in the "Why on earth would that be creepy?" camp, but there were so many people agreeing it was creepy I thought there must be a valid reason people were thinking it. Having read the explanation, actually I wouldn't want to snuggle into my dh and get a whiff of my dad, so it's a fair point!

Don't overthink OP. She doesn't want to smell like you she wants to smell like the perfume

So you are never going to wear it again now she does?

I think that's weird. Definitely weirder than her asking what perfum it is

Yabu. Different perfumes smell different on different people anyway, keep wearing it.

I worked with a girl once who wore this amazing perfume oil from the body shop......I loved it. Took months of undercover investigations to determine the right one. Still love it now but sadly they don't do it anymore. I'd take it as a huge compliment that she connected in a way over a smell, probably our most emotive of senses.

I think you are looking for grief where none needs to exist. Just tell your DH what the perfume is. You've already said that you don't see your MIL very often so I can't understand why you'd have to stop wearing the perfume yourself. Also, scent very often smells quite differently on different people.

Yanbu. I'd tell my dh not to buy it for her. Give her one you used to wear, she obviously likes what you do so no harm!

Oh I wear the same perfume as my mil dh buys it for us both Tbh I think it's a bit young for her but she's a fun loving free spirit kinda gal...I don't think it's a big deal especially if it's an advertised campaign from one of the major fashion houses like mine is- hundreds of people must wear your scent it's not like anyone owns the rights to it!

Really ffs

Oh shite...i rellt like my grans perfume

I'm with you OP. My MIL wd do something like that to piss me off. I'd lie if I didn't think my DH would check on my dressing table.