To put DD into a special school- why are some people so against this?

Cece, that school looks great. Our LA needs a provision like that right now, taking children from 5+ - there are so many who are not coping in mainstream and who mainstream schools aren't equipped to support effectively.

As Derxa says, the problem with mainstream is that although she may get one or two adults who can support her well, the rest won't have a clue and that may include the HT and SLT.

Former SALT here and currently teacher. You are doing the right thing OP. Your DD needs specialist help and you are in a position to provide it. She will be in an environment where people understand her needs. Imagine being her. She understands what's going on but can't express herself. In mainstream, she'll come up against people who have no specialist training whatsoever. I have seen the damage the Warnock Report did over the last 30 years. Even Baroness Warnock said it was a mistake. I won't comment further as I might make comments which will upset other posters.

Cece that looks amazing. That's exactly what I want. Except we have nothing like that in our area. I said this to the LEA and they said they knew that but there were only maybe 10 children a year who would need such provision so there wasn't the demand for it.

10 children per year plus the same number roughly in the 6 local authorities surrounding who also have no similar provision and I reckon that's a school but hey ho what do I know.

It's all about money not need.

How difficult for you to have to try to negotiate the mess of SEN without any support from your family

The main plus-point about mainstream for your DD would be that she would be surrounded by good role-models for speaking - other children who would be speaking confidently (and continuously!) to her and each other in both formal and informal situations. This in itself could be a huge benefit to your DD. However, the teachers and support staff are unlikely to have any specialist knowledge or training about supporting children who have speech and language disorders and will have to manage her in a class of 30.

The opposite is probably true of a specialist placement - possibly few positive peer role-models and perhaps children who have greater cognitive difficulties. However, because of small classes, proper support from professionals and properly trained and experienced support staff, she may well find it much less frustrating and make much better progress.

If she has already spent time in a mainstream setting and you feel that they were not meeting her needs effectively, it is fairly unlikely that this is going to change as she moves into more and more formal classrooms as she gets older. I guess you have been to see the specialist setting? If you feel it might be better for your DD, then trust your instincts.

FWIW, lots of parents/extended family are embarrassed to have a child in a specialist setting, which could explain how your family are reacting

I've read real life stories about people who were very normal intelligence but got forced into special schools in the 1960s-70s maybe due to a minor physical disability (Stuart Shorter leaps to mind) , where there was no expectation or challenge that they should or could be academic or indeed develop any useful skills. The schools were under-resourced, too. I think that's what OP's brother fears, that it's a dumping ground.

Sorry this is so painful for you OP, I think they are just worried & ignorant about modern special schools. You'll need to be strong in your own mind that you know this is best place for your DD.

my ds1 is in a SeN school. He has been there since September and is in year 9. Mainstream is not the right place for so many children. You keep fighting.
I would be furious with your family member making that statement TO your child. What a complete arsehole. I wish id moved him sooner

Your brother is being completely ignorant. He does not understand your DD and he does not understand what a specialist placement can offer a child who is struggling. He is making a judgement based upon popular media stereotypes. YOU know your daughter and you know the placement that you feel will be right for her - not all specialist schools are the same and no doubt you have taken your time to consider the right one for her as we did with DD1. Don't let him bully you and follow the path that you feel is right. I can tell you from personal experience it was a huge emotional leap to move from mainstream to specialist school (more so than when we had her various diagnoses confirmed), but 2 years down the line I could not be more thrilled with the education that she gets and how she is developing as a person. It has given her far more of a chance in life than she would have had at mainstream, and overall she is also a much happier child in herself too. We had to fight the LA all the way for an indi SS placement but we got there and it was worth every bit of effort and stress along the way.

Just horrified at what your DB said to your DD. Yes people are ignorant and SEN is stigmatised.

I hope you find the right school for your DD and your appeal wins. Tis all amount the money with the LEA I'm afraid

Who said anything about residential? That's pretty rare these days.

soapboxqueen - you need a school like this one

IS the school residential? If so is his reaction in part because you would be sending her away'? I think a lot of us can't understand parents who send children to boarding school at a young age, is that how he sees it?
To be honest it is quite unusual for children to go to a residential at 5 unless they have significant behaviour/care/learning needs.

If it's just about it being a special school then he is being an ignorant twat and I wouldn't discuss it with him any further.

You know whats right for you daughter.

You know whats right for you as a family.

Learn to be confident so that when the subject comes up its understood people are being told whats going on, and if they're not on the same page as you with regards to your daughter there's no need for them to say anything.

Good luck with the LEA, and are you in touch with any outside bodies who can advise you?

I think your big mistake is assuming the rest of your family are as invested in this as you are tbh. It would be lovely if your DB etc were interested and supportive but they are clearly aren't so I wouldn't bother bringing it up in conversation with them again.

In terms of what is best for your DD, then as her parent you are best placed to know that. For some children a special school place is by far the best thing as mainstream is never going to meet their needs in the same way that the right specialist provision can.

It depends what sort of special school you're talking about. DD1(9) is very verbal and goes to a 'LD' special school. She has a peer group. That's important. A child who is average cognitively would not be accepted there because there would be no peer group for that child.

If you're talking about a school such as ICan in Meath, that's different. There, the function of speech and language is the priority and they will have children who have specific language disorders.

In your position op I probably wouldn't talk to your brother again. I wouldn't be able to look at him without feeling rage. For a while at least.

I think many people assume special schools are something out of the 1970s. While not all special schools are perfect, there is an increasing range of specialties and services available to suit individual children. If you think your child would do best a particular school, then go for it. Hang what your family think. You can't wait for them to agree with you. That might take your child being an adult and really struggling for them to realise. At which point it will be your fault for not doing anything.

I envy you op in that you have a school in your sights that you want your child to attend. Even if you are having to fight for it. There isn't anything for my ds. He has aspergers and is well above average academically but his behaviour is a real problem . Mainstream don't want him. The special schools are not appropriate for his needs and the ARP units are a bad mish mash of the issues from main stream and special education.

I suspect he's going to be home schooled in the near future when his temporary placement comes to an end.

I am a SENCO, currently going through the process of applying to a speech and language unit for 2 children.

The system here is that children can get a place for 2 years on this unit before returning to their previous school. The results have been amazing! Full curriculum access, SALT available every day, not once a week, addition support trained in language needs. I am fully behind parents who want to get their children in to this setting.

I hope it goes well OP. Does it need to be a permanent placement or a temporary one as we have here?

I am also currently starting the process of getting my DS2 further help. I am hoping for a referral for an EHCP soon and I too am interested in him attending a special school.

I am expecting a massive fight on my hands, including with our family, who often tell me that he will grow out of it.

Chilling, Lambsie. (My LA has informed parents that the 'outcomes' that will go in our children's EHC plans will depend on the resources available...)

To quote one professional "I cannot recommend what the LA cannot provide".

Totally and utterly agree that what the LA is proposing is no kind of guide to what your DD needs. ALL they want to do is not pay a single penny more than they absolutely have to. Amazed this needs spelling out to any grown-up with a brain. Your brother is clearly not on your side (or your DD's).

Good post, Ugger!

Your brother appears to be stuck somewhere in the 1970s. Special schools are very, very different these days.

If you want to make the effort to educate him - and in your shoes, I'm not sure I'd bother - then invite him to visit the indie special school with you. Invite him to read up on the crippling effect of untreated long-term language disorders. Invite him to read blogs like this one .

And if he doesn't bite, then keep yourself two post-code's distance away from this fool during the Tribunal process. Any adult with opposable thumbs who thinks that LAs allocate money to SEN on the basis of the actual needs of the child has no place in your Tribunal prep - and probably shouldn't be trusted to respond to e-mails asking for money from Nigerian royalty, for that matter.

My DSs are deaf, with significant language disorders. DS1 left a mainstream primary with a reading age of 6, thanks to a HT who treated him like roadkill on the path to an Ofsted outstanding grade. The primary school had shockingly low expectations - in our last meeting with him, the HT said "at least there's no point you worrying about GCSEs with a child like that!"

He's now at an indie special school, where he gets the support and friendships he needs. He'll start GCSEs next year. He's been entered for 8, he's expected to get C grades in all of them, and is likely to get A*s in some. He's never had higher expectations, and he's never been happier.

Whatever happens, know this - your brother would not last five minutes in your shoes. If he's not prepared to educate himself, he's not worth listening to.