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Original poster

The Wank Sock. A True Thing, or an Urban Myth?

132 replies

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 20:20

Chatting this afternoon, the topic of the Wank Sock arose. I have young adult sons in their 20's, my friend has an 18yo boy. While they all do their own laundry these days, my friend and I recall the days of the balled-up socks randomly distributed around the room, which we just chucked into the washing machine and unballed when clean, for fear of, well... biological samples tbh. And I don't mean snot. Blush

But realistically, how would one use a wank sock? Would it be placed upon the member like an overgrown, ill-fitting condom, or just used to catch flying fish? If the former, wouldn't rubbing yer delicate man membranes with trainer-sweaty cotton/wool/polyester/blend of same be a bit sore? I mean, gently caressing with clean silk, I can see a certain frisson there, but teenage boys don't often own silk socks. Confused

If the latter, why socks, specifically? Why not T shirts, underwear, or the more traditional (if less environmentally-friendly) Andrex Man Size? (Other brands and sizes, including pocket,are available.)

AIBU to think the wank sock is no more real than the Tooth Fairy?

(Yes, recent NC, been around for a while though.)

OP posts:
TheFirstOfHerName · 15/03/2015 21:32

Ah, so they double up as mini sex towels...

thatsn0tmyname · 15/03/2015 21:32

Really weird. I was thinking of the wank sock man earlier. I saw the gogglebox/Ant and Dec takeaway where they published a woman's teenage diary for the audience to read. I remember the look on the poor wank sock man's face on the Graham Norton show a few years ago when his fiance let his secret slip. Whatever happened to the poor man?

TheRestofmylifeiswaiting · 15/03/2015 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

butterfly2015 · 15/03/2015 21:30

Oh has says he's never used one but does say that in the various military groups he's in on fb they are mentioned frequently.

Have not asked in what context but am sorely tempted to browse these conversations where men that have been to war discuss their preferences for cleaning up after a wank.

ByeByeButterfly · 15/03/2015 21:29

I think your overthinking this anything over 3 seconds thought on this would go into this category.

I do know a bloke though who told me on the phone he was using one and used it in the oversized condom way. I was pretty grossed out even as a 16 year old.

Think of nice things. Google dancing kittens or giggling babies - right now!

yesiknowitsgross · 15/03/2015 21:25

Well I still do use a sock... And yes it's basically used like an oversized condom. Stick out over when you're just about done, and voilà. No mopping up your chest. Tissues are just a bit faffy, and not guaranteed to catch everything.

If you think that's grim when I was a teenager I just used the duvet cover then flipped it over to avoid the wet patch. Goodness knows what my mum thought. Thankfully she didn't say anything. (Oh and I do my own washing now).

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 21:24

I suppose the definition of a posh wank could be an entirely personal one... Do you get waterproof keyboard covers for the modern version?

OP posts:
TheFirstOfHerName · 15/03/2015 21:23

TheRestofmylifeiswaiting please tell me you are joking. Proving and laundering washable wank cloths for your partner is beyond the usual expectations of marriage or of environmental conscience.

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 21:20

A few xposts... I love the wicker basket of muslins, that should be in every 5 star hotel bedroom imho. Grin

DrDre Shock

OP posts:
Charley50 · 15/03/2015 21:20

I thought a posh wank was when you got the candles lit and displayed yer magazines (pre-internet) in a fan-shaped display before you perused them.

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 21:13

So MissMedusa, you think it's less skanky to wipe spunk on a sock than on a tshirt dh and I have never done that, no even though both will be washed before next being worn? (And yes, I'm sticking to that story, any version which involves picking off the crumbly stuff and re-wearing will not be countenanced.)

Thank you for your dedication, TheFairyCaravan! Grin

OP posts:
DrDre · 15/03/2015 21:11

I tried it in my teens. Didn't feel very good. I used to just do it on the bed. Gross when I think about it in hindsight, I'm much cleaner now!

TheRestofmylifeiswaiting · 15/03/2015 21:10

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRestofmylifeiswaiting · 15/03/2015 21:09

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slugseatlettuce · 15/03/2015 21:09

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TheFairyCaravan · 15/03/2015 21:06

For the purpose of the thread I have just asked DS2, he said he has not used a wank sock but can think of boys who probably do!

MissMedusa · 15/03/2015 21:05

This is a guess but I assume they don't fit it over top but rather just use it to wipe up spillage. There's always a dirty sock around and a dock will only ever touch the feet so not quite as gross as, say, wiping it in a t-shirt.

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 21:04

But how did he use it, youmakemydreams? How?

What material is the Wank Sock made from?
The sock is made using the highest quality wanking material available to humanity. 70% cotton, 28% polyester and 2% elastane.

See, that's just not soft enough, is it?

OP posts:
MyHaloIsChokingMe · 15/03/2015 20:55

Wank Sock This thread reminded me of these. Not that I purchased one for the office wanker for a secret santa or anything

youmakemydreams · 15/03/2015 20:53

My 18 year old self had a 23 year old boyfriend and yep he definitely used a wank sock. I picked a damp sock up of the bedroom floor and sniffed it to see why it was damp. It had the distinct aroma of semen so after much running from me finally admitted that was what he had done. Lovely place to leave it.

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 20:52

Now, I can see the appeal of the posh wank, all slippery and no mess to clean up.

OP posts:
ChunkyMonkeysMummy · 15/03/2015 20:48

Haha! You couldn't move your hand properly if its dead/pins and needles, could you or is that just me

I've just been enlightened to what a Posh Wank is: A lubricated condom nonetheless. Apparently it does feel like someone else's hand Hmm

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 20:48

Oooh, that's interesting Rosie, if yes, a bit grim. Did he go into the mechanics of it at all?

(Yes, I realise the answer is likely to be "No" but my curiosity has now been piqued.)

My DS's socks were fairly crusty, but I still maintain that's trainersweat.

[/prude]

OP posts:
Tobyjugg · 15/03/2015 20:46

I've always thought of it as an urban myth.

Rosieposy4 · 15/03/2015 20:44

Def not mythical, 4 teenage or older Ds's here, when challenged a few years ago Ds1 admitted to the wank sock usage ( it followed a mumsnet thread which had been a total eye opener for me and did explain why his socks were so crusty, my colleagues all agreed it was a thing)
Just grim

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