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Original poster

The Wank Sock. A True Thing, or an Urban Myth?

132 replies

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 20:20

Chatting this afternoon, the topic of the Wank Sock arose. I have young adult sons in their 20's, my friend has an 18yo boy. While they all do their own laundry these days, my friend and I recall the days of the balled-up socks randomly distributed around the room, which we just chucked into the washing machine and unballed when clean, for fear of, well... biological samples tbh. And I don't mean snot. Blush

But realistically, how would one use a wank sock? Would it be placed upon the member like an overgrown, ill-fitting condom, or just used to catch flying fish? If the former, wouldn't rubbing yer delicate man membranes with trainer-sweaty cotton/wool/polyester/blend of same be a bit sore? I mean, gently caressing with clean silk, I can see a certain frisson there, but teenage boys don't often own silk socks. Confused

If the latter, why socks, specifically? Why not T shirts, underwear, or the more traditional (if less environmentally-friendly) Andrex Man Size? (Other brands and sizes, including pocket,are available.)

AIBU to think the wank sock is no more real than the Tooth Fairy?

(Yes, recent NC, been around for a while though.)

OP posts:
weeblueberry · 16/03/2015 10:12

Just told DP about the cum box and he asked if its like a piggy wank Envy

When I asked about whether it would be uncomfortable to wank with a sock he just looked at me and said any teenage boy who's able to ejaculate will stick his cock in anything.

Thank god I have daughters...

richthegreatcornholio · 16/03/2015 08:34

Absolutely true. Just used to mop up afterwards in my experience.

TheFirstOfHerName · 16/03/2015 07:50

Why? Why did I google the boxers? I wish I could go back in time and undo that.

Gullygirl · 16/03/2015 03:38

Any knitters out there thinking of whipping up a wank sock, you'd have to use seed stitch.
And maybe you could do one of these too....

The Wank Sock. A True Thing, or an Urban Myth?
Titsalinabumsquash · 16/03/2015 02:57

And since it's just popped into my mind (because it's 3am and I clearly have nothing better to think of) if using a sweaty, used sock off the floor, doesn't it pose risk of giving the user some nasty fungal infection on their bits? Or do they use a freshly laundered sock from the clean drawer?

Titsalinabumsquash · 16/03/2015 02:55

I know someone who has a now adult son but when he was a teen still living at home, she would create a little station next to his bed with tissues, lotion of some kind and wet wipes and a special bin Shock she was very open about it being there and why, later into his teens she added a wee box of condoms and lube.
When he moved to uni, she packed it all into a 'care package' and sent it to him, she included some porn mags as well as the regular food/boxers/socks etc.

Millionsmom · 16/03/2015 02:23
Blush

I finally know why we had so many single socks.

And why DS1 seemed to leave them in his room.
Balled up.
And crusty.
I thought he was using them to blow his nose. A lot.

You'd think at my age I'd've caught on pretty much everything. Seems I have, but didn't realise!

christinarossetti · 16/03/2015 02:03

Called something like 'Every Day Pleasures'.

christinarossetti · 16/03/2015 02:00

CBA to Google, but I bet there are a few tweely named home made craft shops on e-bay that supply these, under the guise of a 'giant egg cosy' or the like.

Even personaliard for a few extra,quid.

MisterDobalina · 16/03/2015 01:37

I found the wank mitten thing.

From this thread.

"My friend's Mum got so sick of him leaving deposits everywhere as a teenager that she knitted (yes, knitted) him a little mitten to mop up after himself. She then washed it weekly and put it on his bed all nicely ironed. This is no joke. It did eradicate the wanky tissues scenario, though."

GallicGarlic · 16/03/2015 00:56

EXH used cotton hankies

Both my husbands insisted on proper handkerchiefs! I could never understand how they got so crusty, even when they didn't have a cold.

How thick am I?!

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 16/03/2015 00:50

From the thread, it would appear most teenage boys aren't too bothered about ruining/not ruining the duvet. That would be why I bought both sons new bedclothes when they moved out...

OP posts:
GettingFiggyWithIt · 16/03/2015 00:43

Thought it was when you had run out of bog roll and needed to clean up so as not to ruin your duvet...
Wank socks wank shirts wank pants
I just live with a dirty wanker eh?!

SinisterBuggyMonth · 16/03/2015 00:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 16/03/2015 00:28

Missusdaly, if "we" are using it, it's not a wank. Wink DH and I have never used a sextowel/tshirt, oh no Wouldn't much fancy sticking a worn sock close to my nether regions, tbh. Well, maybe the leg part...

SinisterBuggyMonth, what a brilliant name. Are you a left-handed person? You have a talent for imagery! Grin

OP posts:
SinisterBuggyMonth · 16/03/2015 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missusdaly · 16/03/2015 00:00

Socks are too small, we use old towels/t shirts.

CakeUpWall · 15/03/2015 23:35

Bloody hell LadyDeadpool, I googled. Shit. Will I never learn?

I actually feel physically sick.

BadLad · 15/03/2015 22:57

Never heard of the idea or the posh wank before reading about them on here. News to all my friends with whom I've discussed the matter too.

The nearest I've come (ho ho) to this is using a pair of boxers when the strategically placed box of tissues has run out.

Ataraxy · 15/03/2015 22:41

Pah I wish I would listen LadyDeadpool. Blush

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 15/03/2015 22:36

Surely even a teenage boy could pop to the bathroom and grab some loo roll, what kind of depraved beasts are you lot raising?!

avocadotoast · 15/03/2015 22:28

I know of a guy who kept an old tshirt under his pillow. It came out when he needed to catch the, um, proceeds of the deed. As far as I know it never got washed

LadyDeadpool · 15/03/2015 22:26

I warned you Sad now it'll pop into your head at random hugely inappropriate moments and you'll do that whole body shudder and remember to listen next time.

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 22:25

Cum boxers deffo worse... Envy In fact, that is spectacularly vile. Why, just why?

OP posts:
Ataraxy · 15/03/2015 22:20

You may write 'don't google cum boxers' but I read "google it, now, this instance, dotitdoitdoit". So I did.

My stomach is now spasming is utter horror while I try not to hurl my insides out. Whoever has it, pass the brain bleach over here quickly.