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Original poster

The Wank Sock. A True Thing, or an Urban Myth?

132 replies

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 20:20

Chatting this afternoon, the topic of the Wank Sock arose. I have young adult sons in their 20's, my friend has an 18yo boy. While they all do their own laundry these days, my friend and I recall the days of the balled-up socks randomly distributed around the room, which we just chucked into the washing machine and unballed when clean, for fear of, well... biological samples tbh. And I don't mean snot. Blush

But realistically, how would one use a wank sock? Would it be placed upon the member like an overgrown, ill-fitting condom, or just used to catch flying fish? If the former, wouldn't rubbing yer delicate man membranes with trainer-sweaty cotton/wool/polyester/blend of same be a bit sore? I mean, gently caressing with clean silk, I can see a certain frisson there, but teenage boys don't often own silk socks. Confused

If the latter, why socks, specifically? Why not T shirts, underwear, or the more traditional (if less environmentally-friendly) Andrex Man Size? (Other brands and sizes, including pocket,are available.)

AIBU to think the wank sock is no more real than the Tooth Fairy?

(Yes, recent NC, been around for a while though.)

OP posts:
londonrach · 16/03/2015 19:36

I didnt just read that...i didnt...i didnt...heads for the wine...

GallicGarlic · 16/03/2015 19:31

After reading that Tenga review, I'm hoping that wondering if they make a differently-shaped version for women!

It sounds quite nice.

Blush
AGnu · 16/03/2015 17:52

Err... It's totally ok to castrate my DSs before they hit puberty, right?

TheFirstOfHerName · 16/03/2015 17:25

In the future, mumsnetters will be using "a basket of muslin cloths in a wicket basket by the bed" as proof of long-term membership if they have to name change for sensitive topics. "Penis beaker" is sooooooo last year.

GinLimeandLemonade · 16/03/2015 17:15

Yep - wank socks are definitely a real thing! Also known as bunk puppets for those sleeping in bunks (dorm rooms/tour coaches/etc)

I know someone (a friend of DH) who used to use a tshirt as his "spaff rag" and then throw it under his bed. He went away for a week and his Mum had washed and ironed it and left it on his bed. I'd like to hope she didn't know what it was used for but it was apparently very crusty! Blergh!

SideOrderofChips · 16/03/2015 16:49

I always just wiped DH spunk in his discarded boxer shorts. im the one who has to do the washing after all

Sazzle41 · 16/03/2015 16:43

Oh dear God, a basket of muslins for wanking in. Thats the most middle class thing EVER. Isnt that what boxes of tissues in bedrooms are for? Or am i just common then ?

BreakingDad77 · 16/03/2015 15:18

It does happen and I have heard stories of old tracksuit bottoms being used too.

The thought of wearing something you wanked into seemed odd to me when young and still today when you have tissue/toilet paper which is fine!

Number3cometome · 16/03/2015 15:14

It's absolutely true.

I found my ex asleep on the front room settee with a sock on his cock and porn on the TV many a time.

I had no issue with him watching it, or having a wank, but took offence to finding hard cardboard socks under the settee when hoovering.

I told my partner about this, and he denied all cock sock knowledge and thought it was odd - he uses a baby wipe to clean up instead.

TheFirstOfHerName · 16/03/2015 15:13

Unless you have an amazingly sensitive penis, you would never know the bumps inside were heart shaped

Actually laughed out loud at that.

fredfredsausagehead1 · 16/03/2015 15:07

Gipping!

They're probably gripping. Ugh eww barf

fredfredsausagehead1 · 16/03/2015 15:06

Omg I have teenage sons and am actually gripping reading this Shock

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 16/03/2015 15:02

Assuming you mean tenga egg, Madame, here is a review which might clarify things...

"I had tried a TENGA egg before, having had one bought for me as a present by my long suffering wife, so I knew what to expect. Being a hopeless romantic, I ordered the heart egg around Valentine's Day, and while it's an excellent product, I have to admit I was more than a little disappointed to find it wasn't black (I also have no idea why this would make a difference).

The egg is well packaged with one of those satisfying little 'tear here' zippy plastic strips, which removes the outer shrinkwrap (which is the point you discover it's not black). Inside the outer wrap is a hard plastic egg shell, which contains the egg and a tiny sachet of lube (about the size of a Pot Noodle sauce sachet).

The egg itself is a wonderful - sensual blob of silicone with a hole in one end (obvious) and no air hole anywhere else. After dropping lube into the egg, you stretch it on and away you go. It's particularly pleasurable if you twist and rotate. Unless you have an amazingly sensitive penis, you would never know the bumps inside were heart shaped, but you can definitely feel them working.

For lube I use Liquid Silk, which works like a treat. As there is no air to dry the lube, the egg stays slippy for a long time. One of the best things about it is that because it has no other holes, it keeps 'everything' in at the end making for an easier clean up.

The blurb for the egg says its a one time thing, being a canny Scotsman I disagree; I quickly wash inside and out (I use anti-bac hand wash), dry it out and pop it back into its shell for next time."

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 16/03/2015 14:48

Oooohhh what's a tentative egg?

My Sky Shield for protecting the mini beasts is not letting me see!

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 16/03/2015 14:40

Urgh, teddybears? Glue? Milk bottles?

Kinda wish I hadn't started this now! Grin

OP posts:
Aberchips · 16/03/2015 14:39

My eyes! Warning to all DON'T google the boxers...Envy

emwithme · 16/03/2015 14:37

My ex-brother (we're pretty much NC for Many Reasons, not only this) came to stay with me and my then DF when he broke up with his fiance six weeks before their wedding.

He moved out about six months later and when DF and I cleared his room up we found most of my missing tea towels (crunchy) and about a dozen milk bottles half-full of a substance that I initially thought to be curdled milk. NOPE (discovered by ex-DF when he went to pour it down the sink to clean the milk bottles to put them out for the milkman). He'd been spunking into them and cleaning up with the tea towels

MrsKravitzFromAcrossTheStreet · 16/03/2015 14:35

Lalalaaa's "wank into a sick" and the wicker basket of muslin cumcloths Grin

I have a teenage DS. I once found a stiff sock STUCK to the wall behind his wardrobe. Honestly, stuck. And stiff as a board. The same DS also had a large Stitch (from lilo and stitch) teddy that developed a hole in its crotch region and was found hidden in the airing cupboard. Hmm

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 16/03/2015 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CactusAnnie · 16/03/2015 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChubbyKitty · 16/03/2015 14:20

Well I need something to christen my new crochet hooks with.

Was gonna buy DP Disney infinity for his birthday but now he's getting a selection of colourful wank baggies. Grin

Sallystyle · 16/03/2015 14:05

And well, lets just say some people may remove a teddy bears eyes for this purpose too.

don't ask me how I know

Sallystyle · 16/03/2015 14:03

I know someone who used to come in the sock yes.

My teens always seems to lose their socks Hmm

Original poster
HirplesWithHaggis · 16/03/2015 13:56

So I had to google tenga egg, didn't I? Goodness, whatever will they come up with invent next?

A bit on the dear side for teens though.

OP posts:
sPJPPp · 16/03/2015 10:16

I use a tenga egg on my dh sometimes, he loves it and no mess. Though have to be careful as they break easily and are designed for one use only, but you can resuse them if careful.