To wonder if we rush our children through childhood too quickly?

I know this thread is incredibly old but I still use my Mickey mouse bath towel and I'm in my 30's 😂

Reopening a zombie thread, I know!

I was told by my child's physiotherapist that a year 3 child was too old for using Playdoh to help build fine motor control. I quote "you need something more age appropriate". I was flabbergasted! I thought "am I really that out of touch that my just turned 8 year old is too old for Playdoh?"
I wouldn't buy it as a present for an 8 year old but surely if it's in your house, would you honestly tell an 8 year old they're too old for it.
Then the therapist proceeded to suggest that a reward for doing physio could be extra time on the PlayStation. We don't own a PlayStation or an X box or any kind of games console! He didn't have a clue what she was going on about.

At home he plays Lego, Playmobil, with his toy fire station, riding his bike, building dens, playing 'Mums and Dad's' with his 9yo sister plus some Apps/watching TV shows on his Kindle.

My dd is 9yo and has played with her lego and playmobil for most of the day, I have no idea if its linked but dd has no internet access, no games consoles, no phone and I limit how much the telly is on.

I imagine when she reaches secondary age things will probably change but I absolutely want her to enjoy her childhood and play for as long as possible.

I hope that I haven't killed this thread!

When my 14 year old sister came round yesterday, she asked where ds's Happyland was, so she could "help" ds play with it. - Ds is 1.
I couldn't find it, as we are hoping to move soon and some of our stuff is packed up.

Dsis made do with some Weebles, and got a bit carried away with the game! It reminded me of how I used to "help" another of my sisters play with Sylvanian Families, when I was 14.

The sister I used to play Sylvanians with, was talking about all the different Sylvanian figures she had a while ago. She was remembering them fondly, and reeling them off, all by name....I wonder if she knows that they aren't the names the manufacturers gave them but that, actually, each name was carefully selected by 14-year-old-me!

my girls are 12 and 14 and still play with their bratz dolls and teddies...

the difference is that now they have the manual dexterity and ability to create proper outfits for them - so the dolls all have evening dresses, bags etc and teddy has a bright stripey knitted jumper and a silky bow tie...

We play loads of board games at the weekend, we use all sorts of tech as well... age is just a number...

as DD14 reminded me the other day - "in 18 months I'll be able to get married and start a family of my own you know..." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......

(though slightly pleased, as an old fashioned fuddy-duddy that she put it that way round)

I've just been thinking this. An old friend has a dd the same age as my dd (8) and all her photos on FB are of her having makeovers, pamper parties at sleepovers, apparently she's mad about 1D and she has make up on in every photo . My dd wears make up when she has her face painted like a butterfly, doesn't even know who 1D is (thankfully!) and still plays with and loved toys above all else. I'm very happy about this.

I find the idea of little girls pamper parties a little bit sad. Where they all sit around at 7 years old, having a manicure, being made up and drinking pretend champagne. I remember parties being all about playing games, and running off energy like mad. I think that kids always look in their element running around a park, or play centre, or the beach. When they are away from all of the screens and running around, I think that they look happier.

I remember playing with dolls intermittently until I was about 14 . I sold it to myself as playing with my younger sister but in reality she humoured me as from the age of about eight she preferred her playstation. I think some kids just like toys and others don't - the key is giving the ones who do the space to be themselves and not feel pressured by others - same as with anything really! I've never grown out of Lego...

I agree. Did some consultancy work for a major joy company a few years ago. They have a smaller and smaller target audience for their toys as children age out of them earlier and earlier.

They showed stats for the ages children play with toys, 50yrs ago boys played with toys until average 16 yrs, girl until 14yrs, and it's been going down ever since. When I did the work (6+ yrs ago now), they were looking at 9 yrs max for the boys, 7 yrs for girls. It's too young, really. I'd be really interested to know what the stats are now, as it was a while ago. I do hope they've stabilised or even gone up.

It's interesting to think 50yrs ago there must have been an overlap between jobs and toys. Or a huge split in social classes.

My child is in yr1 but we've managed to avoid talk of tablets so far. Maybe in a year or two, if one is asked for. I think the longest we can put it off, the better! Both dp and I aren't big on computer games so we don't see the need to encourage it.

Great topic OP - I have wondered about this myself.

My dd is 9 and has a bedroom full of teddies, dolls etc. She plays with them endlessly but is considered "young" for her age by many mums I know.

The single threat to kids playing for longer are tablet computers and I hate that some schools now ask that each child has access to one. It's very hard to limit screen time when it's linked to school work IMO.

Dd2 is 5 and has just been given a whole load of playmobil and other toys for her birthday. It's ALL currently set up as an elaborate world on my living room carpet and I'm under strict instructions that I MUST NOT tidy it away before tomorrow night. She still plays with Happyland and Duplo at the cm's house. I can't imagine her growing out of toys any time soon, she loves them.

Dd1 is 15 and has grown out of playing with toys (obviously) but she still has a load of them in her bedroom that she won't countenance giving away.

3 of the biggest threats to my kids' childhood innocence and activites have been:

• Competitive parents telling their kids about Santa/Tooth Fairy not being real (before the child has sussed it themselves). This also extends to competitive parents wanting their kids to act or look more grown up because they have their own hangups
• Schools imposing residential trips on kids (primary level).
• Schools giving out age-inappropriate sex ed lessons at primary level ('Living and Growing DVD') which is borderline pornography dressed up as education.
• Schools showing films that are PG to KS1 kids

Just my experience anyway...

Holepunch this is true,I know one of my grandfathers left school at 12 or 14 but he was a big kid, he loved playing and would spend hours with the grandkids lego. My husbands grandfather who is 92 left school at 12 and went straight into agriculture. There were no options then, but he said he still swam in the river or rode horses and went fishing with his friends. They had to work but I doubt they just grew up completely overnight and also they still interacted socially and used their imaginations. Screens do limit both of those things in modern children,where as toys are less likely to. Also because of where I live, I know children that only have one treasured toy, a single truck, car or doll. It's not so much about toys as such, it's about being children, being active and playing.

Thank you op, this thread has inspired me and now have a little boy happily playing .

Ds is only 4 but declared before Christmas that fireman was too babyish now, so it could all be put away. I did and replaced with various superhero things. He has really struggled with playing on his own since Christmas. After reading this thread, I got them all out again and he has had a great time with them all morning, playing with them in a different way than before.

Lesson learnt so thank you, will put superheroes away until he is a bit older, plenty of time for all that.

I do think it depends on area and peer pressure too...
My DD1's class (small primary, semi rural area, 'naice') had a group of (mainly) boys with elder siblings. Most of them had phones by age 6 (elder siblings cast off) and did watch the odd older rated movies (say Harry Potter 12s at 8) etc. One boy -only child with parents desperate for him to be popular - had everything, they rarely said no - not only kept up with the ones with elder siblings but was allowed to go even further - so 18 rated games etc at 9. He was the most popular boy in the class (and now almost 15, has been excluded a few times and DD describes him as a 'pothead' ). Another boy - eldest in family, quite strict parents -wasn't allowed anything like the same amount freedom and he was really unpopular (in the end he moved school).
I said I wouldn't get DD1 a phone until secondary -but then discovered literally every other child in her class had one by age 9. She got one just before she was 10 -because no matter what you believe you don't want to make your child the odd one out and she would have been. But I have a friend with a DD now in the last year of the same school and at 11 she doesn't have a phone. Different class and she has a friend in the class with parents with similar values so they don't have a phone either -so there are at least 2 of them - easier not to give into peer pressure .
What was revealing is though for my DD1s end of primary party - after much faffing/no-one organising on the last minute it was decided that they would have a disco type thing - in a hut next to a football field, they got pizza and ice cream. They weren't impressed - they were too old for that and it wasn't very cool -sounded boring. But in fact they had a fantastic time - spent the entire time out on the field running around like mad things (or 5 yos!), water bombs etc etc - a blast. One of the other parents had moved from a city a good few years before - former friends of her DC end of primary party involved prom dresses, fake tans and nails and hiring a limo .

I do think some parents seem overeager to ditch "babyish" toys but some children genuinely don't like toys. DS doesn't, never really has. He likes Brio trains (still, at 6) and toy cars and toys that "do" things (toy gun which shoots potato pellets, car launcher, marble run) but he was never interested in Happyland, Playmobil, dinosaurs, animals, etc. He will build lego but doesn't really play games with it, the figures are just used to provide detail e.g. a driver for a car, prisoner in the jail, etc.

Yet put him in a park with another child and they will play imaginative pretend games for hours and hours with various sticks etc they find or no toys at all.

He does like tech, and screen based activities, but his preference away from "pretend" type toys was fixed far before he got interested in that.

I think it depends on where you live and also the family environment you foster. We live in rural Brazil so our kids are pretty sheltered from the growing up too fast thing and most poorer children are still out playing at 13 and 14. But some of the richer parents are determined to get their kids phones and ipads at a young age and then toys take a back seat, it's very sad. Some kids in year 5 (top of primary) still bring dolls and cars in on toy day (friday). They are outside at break and there was a big divide between the children running around with their dolls, cars and balls and the two or three sitting on the bench with their ipads. My SIL has three children (aged 13, 9 and 7) and they all have a phone or ipad each (we have a family ipad) The two boys 13 and 7 play a lot and interact socially but her daughter who is 9 is permantly plugged into her mobile phone. At social gatherings she is isolated and rarely do I see her joining in, she is never in the pool and doesn't even watch TV with her brothers and our 4 children, she's there but she's not there (if that makes sense). She has lost interest in Barbie. My daughter who is 8 was thrilled because she gave all hers to my daughter. Toys have been cleared from her room . She will be an adult for (let's hope) 70+ years, why make that start now? Her greatgrandparents who are 86 and 92 have mentioned how tragic this is but my SIL seems powerless to stop it, or perhaps she doesn't think it's too much of a problem!

My 11 year old still plays with playmobil! I still play with platymobil

IME, this is a lot to do with keeping a tidy house. DS1 is 13yo and still loves toy soldiers and lego, but his stuff is everywhere. He spends ages setting out complex things and I don't have the heart to tell him he's got to take them apart and tidy up. Friends who have encouraged the end of toys have much tidier houses and care more about that than I do.

FWIW, whilst children do seem to be rushed through the toy stage quicker, I don't think they are growing up quicker. In lots of ways they are babied much longer. My dad remarked last night - DS1 is 14 next week. In 14 month's time, my Dad was working full-time and a year later he had an apprentice working for him.

I was talking to a friend about this, he has a 10 year old daughter and 8 year old son. He says they will automatically go to their tablets/computer games first, but he says he limits screen time and makes them play with toys in the mornings so they do to wake up and go straight to computer games! He said his DD still enjoys playing with her dolls.

I was quite relieved to hear this as I would like DS and DD to enjoy playing with toys and using their imagination for as long as possible! They're not children for long so I think they should be able to enjoy being children rather than pushed constantly.

Couldn't agree with you more. My DD is nearly ten and still plays with her dolls' house, teddies, loves lying on her bedroom floor reading, writing stories, drawing. DS is a bit younger and ditto with teddies, sprawling for hours on landing with lego vehicles, prolific reader too, both love collecting stones, twigs from walks and making arrangements in the garden with them. A mountain of playmobil still in the corner of the living room, a cupboard full of board games - we play mastermind, cluedo, monopoly.

I love watching my children play and become absorbed in their little projects. Both have amazing concentration and communication skills - commented on by their teachers.

I hate seeing kids glued to screens - although they're allowed slots of time on the tablet. In my really limited experience they make kids grumpy - they go into a "zone" and resent having to come off them; I can't deal with the aggro and negotiating. I think I must have watched too much "Why don't you?" as a child....the world is full of amazing things to see and do, why sit glued to a screen? (and yes, I do get the irony of a TV programme that tells me to do anything but watch TV!!)

YANBU

I do agree with the decluttering thing mentioned upthread being part of the reason why this is happening, we live in much smaller accommodation these days and most people don't have a whole room dedicated to play at home anymore (nursery/playroom)

Crikey. My eldest is nearly 7 and he still plays with toys. He has a younger siblings so that might be the difference. He is only allowed 20 mins ds time a day plus some tv with his brothers.

It's sad, isn't it? My DS is nearly 8 and has only very recently got an Xbox and a tablet, but he still plays with his cars absolutely loads and to a lesser extent with his Lego. A lot of his friends hardly have any toys any more though - they come round here and drag them all out because it's a novelty!