to be a bit upset that we're no longer included in family gatherings because we asked that the dogs be closed away?

This thread is 10 years old. I very much doubt whether the dogs in question are still alive.

I can’t believe anyone thinks you are unreasonable. If your DC got bitten and you came on here saying you’d previously seen a child nearly get bitten by the same dog, you’d be slated!

You are absolutely right to feel upset. They are putting the dogs before their relationship with you.

You may well have a problem with anxiety and it may well be beneficial to work on that and your children’s feelings about dogs so it doesn’t become a serious issue.

But your risk assessment here is spot on. If you think about the likelihood of a spoiled dog that previously snapped at a small child doing the same again, particularly to a nervous child who doesn’t know how to be confident and safe with dogs could do it again it’s high. The possible consequences could be life changing.

Sorry your family are like this.

So your own child didn't have a near miss with this dog? Yet you are staying away from family gatherings because of something that almost happened with another child? And it seems the dog reacted to another dog, not the child?

I was half seeing your point in your first post. Now I think YABVU.

Was this your relatives' dog or a random dog in a different family. Huge, huge difference.

I find this so odd. I have two house cats. They are genuinely sweet and harmless. If someone came over who was allergic/didn't like them/was scared of them then I would just stick the cats in my bedroom for the duration of the visit. If it was for a few hours I'd probably pop them in the office with some food, water and a litter tray. Honestly what's the big deal?

There is a huge difference between snapping/"nearly" biting and actually biting. If the dog was trying to bite, it would almost certainly have succeeded. An exasperated dog can snap as a warning. Blaming the toddler is ridiculous. It is the adult humans responsible for the toddler who are to blame. People need to supervise their small children around animals and not end up either blaming the child or the animal.

@Clarabelle0912 Do you know this thread is ten years old?

Late to this but I feel terribly sorry for your dog. You would put your dog down if she had "nearly bitten a child". There is a world of difference between "nearly" biting and actually biting. This coupled with the fact that your dog "allows my 11 month old to do pretty much anything to her". You need to control your child around your dog.

I feel sorry for you.
I presume that the next gathering at yours, that the person will not bring their dogs?

You aren't being unreasonable. Dogs and children need close supervision, and if it's not going to happen (for example at a busy family gathering) then it's best for all concerned to keep the dogs separate. If my dog had previously snapped at a child I would be on edge and unable to relax if the dog was running loose and would offer to shut them behind a stair gate or in another room. For the dog to have snapped in the first place, it must have felt threatened and stressed, so I would not want to risk my dog feeling like that again. Especially as there doesn't seem to have been a clear trigger for the dog snapping at the toddler in the first place, I don't see how the owners could have any clue as to whether it would happen again.

Nobody has the right to go into another persons home.

The OP hasn't given any indication that she feels she has a right of entry to anyone's home.

She's feeling upset, excluded, insulted and isolated and is asking if she's Bu to request that the dogs are put away.

They should put the dog away. Yanbu.

Nobody has the right to go into another persons home. Their home, their rules. If you don't like it, don't go.

I don't think yabu about the snappy dog or the food, dcs running around eating near dogs is a bad idea, I am a dog owner and I always made my dcs sit at the table when eating, partly because of dogs and partly because we ate out regularly and I can't stand to see children running round eating food.

They should put the dog that snapped away next time, if they won't then just don't visit, they don't sound very nice anyway.

I had a neighbour complain about my dog always growling at her dd for no reason once, then I saw her poking my dog in the face with a plastic wand through the gate! Also my mums dog once snapped at my small cousin, because she shoved a pencil up her nose!

last year we were all bitten to death in a holiday house by fleas in the carpet from a previous guest's beloved mutt - as it was MIL who suffered the most, we strongly suspect the mutt had also been allowed to sleep on the bed in the single room that she was in.

we actually SAW fleas leap out of the rug onto MILs leg while she was watching tv in the lounge!

The agents and owners did not seem too bothered when we reported it to them, said they would do a deep clean and get rid of the rug before next guests arrived, but maybe they didn't, and maybe it was their own mutts that were the problem.

This is why kids get bitten, because owners just can not act responsibly with their dogs.
How strange you're getting YABU, when you've stated the fact that the dog has gone for another child in your OP.
fWIW, I have dogs and have always had dogs, if children and family come around, obviously the dogs are around the family, but to have a dog which has already snapped at a young child around is both unfair on the dog who must be stressed and the child., and totally irresponsible of the owners.
Let other family members take their chances.

I don't want their hair all over our clothes

It's a bit like the "dog friendly hotel" thing, isn't it? Personally I think it's great that some places allow folks to take their pet with them, just so long as they make this very clear so that those against can avoid it if we choose

It wouldn't be the first time I've stayed in an hotel where the bed has been covered in dog hair - and this in a place that's supposed to accept no animals. Apparently they made an exception because the dog was "so well trained and never gets on the furniture, oh dear me no" ... except that we've all probably heard that too many times before

YADNBU!!! I personally can't stand dogs- I'm not afraid of them but I don't want them near me or my DCs.

I agree with you that dogs should never be left around young children, they don't have the awareness to know not to act excitedly/go too close. It's completely irresponsible no matter how friendly the animal is supposed to be.

IMO dogs are filthy animals- they drool, wee all over the garden and eat their own mess. I don't want that near my DC and I don't want their hair all over our clothes.

The thought of people letting them on their furniture and even in their beds makes me feel a bit sick. I am obviously not a dog lover but I purposely avoid people's houses who have dogs because of the germs.

I can totally see your point!

YANBU - Don't understand the 'my house, my rules, fuck you' brigrade - it's like what your dad says when you still live 'under his roof'.

Surely family gatherings are more about opening your house to other people. Hosting requires taking some of other peoples wishes/needs into account and accommodating them? Like getting a certain drink in because others like it even if you don't or offering a veggy alternative.

Sorry you feel isolated OP but it doesn't sound like they're worth the effort. I feel your pain though, my ILs have dogs and I'm severely allergic (hospitalized on many occasions) but they won't put them away so they don't get to see my Ds much and we don't live near my family . Just don't get it

Dogs and children just don't mix IMO. My DH and his ex had a lovely little dog. Family pet, friendly to everyone, wouldn't hurt a fly etc etc. one day when dss was toddling, it ran in the room and bit him for no reason. DH was there, nothing happened to aggravate the 'friendly' dog he just decided to bite dss. He has a scar from it, but luckily, no major injury.

DH no longer likes animals around kids. Why would you take a risk when it can be prevented?

Are you the only one with children or the only parent who's concerned?

Why are all gatherings held in this persons house?

YANBU. Pet owners can be very irrational.

People come first, every time. If you think your DCs won't be safe keep them away. I can't understand people who put dogs before family. Weird.