To not be surprised that divorce rates are so high when I see how some friends treat their husbands??

Usually arguments about petty things stem from deeper problems- divorce doesn't usually happen just because the wife is upset about the toilet seat being up.

Don't be so inflammatory.

After hearing the term "starter marriage" for the first time, I immediately started introducing DH as "my first husband".

I'd like to see the stats that more men chose divorce than women.

I'd also be amazed if there were evidence that men seek divorce because their wives are obsessed with routines.

Waffle - surely if they don't think their husband is lovely then there's no point in being married to him?

Hence me saying I cannot see their marriages lasting.

I guess a 'starter marriage' is a bit like one of those 'starter homes'?

Otherwise, I haven't got a fucking clue

If men did what they were told, when they were told, women wouldn't have to argue then divorce them.

It's like a warm up to the big (non) event.

What a ridiculous op. You don't really think it, do you?

Mama

Why couldn't the issue equally be husband's not understanding or appreciating what their wife is going through at home looking after a young baby?

Of course team work is the best.

But team work involves both a husband and a wife appreciating each other, not just a wife not nagging, as you seem to imply.

Well my imaginary marriage will never break up because I brush my hair every now and again just before DH gets in from work and apply a fresh coat of lippy. My house is immaculate too I wish.

He gets tea on the table as soon as he gets in from work. It's only right! I also give him BJs on request.

Of course I warm his side of the bed for him in winter, then move to my own cold side. If he is playing his PS2 too late and I have dozed off, it is fine for him to wake me for sex.

He will love me forever, right?

"starter marriage" I am genuinely shocked! I've never heard of such a concept.

No relationship is ever perfect [Orange] & I never said mine was. So you are aware that divorces happen for reasons other than women feeling strongly about getting decent sleep and how they want to parent their children. That's good, because you seemed to be blaming the divorce rate on just that, which would be absurd.

Waffle - surely if they don't think their husband is lovely then there's no point in being married to him?

Pulls a chair up with my glass of and salty popcorn to watch whilst feeling like I have been transported back to the 1950s

What on earth is a starter marriage?!

I fear for many of my friends marriages, mainly because they bitch so much about their husbands. Like they have nothing nice to say about him.

Personally, my husband is lovely and I would never dream about saying anything bad about him to others, even my best friend.

So given the frequency that others I know whinge about these, I cannot see their marriages lasting if I am honest.

"huge arguments over petty issues" Don't arguments involve more than one person?

Some new mothers cling to a routine as you tend to do when its your first & not sure if you're doing it properly. At these times your baby not going to bed on time can be a huge thing yes. And you standing judging on the sidelines will not help. Petty & non petty has different boundaries to different people.

I'm glad your approach works for you but some mums & dads take longer to find their way than others.

And yes of course, divorce rates are all about how women treat their husbands. You don't sound like a massive cock at all when you say that!

I think if the men whose marriages weren't in trouble were handsome, slim, genuinely nice people who behaved well at all times even in times of stress and had well paid jobs which allowed them a work/life balance, then marriages would be much better.

I'm sure I'm right. Likewise, these paragons always must be paired with beautiful, kind, gentle women who manage to keep a toehold in their professional career while giving birth, never losing their tempers.

The real problem is that just enough people aren't perfect!!!

Are you from Stepford, OP?

Did you know that quite a lot of divorces are sought by women? Wonder what the men must have done.....

I would agree a team / partnership approach works best. But there are plenty of men talked about on here who carry on with their hobbies, nights out, etc when dc arrive and leave the woman to do everything.

I just find a team approach works better for me??

Oh the irony!!! In my house, we find that a team approach works better for both of us, but yes, we do know couples for whom things are rather more one sided.

I'm glad that I married a man who can deal with the fact that things might be tough going for a bit after a life changing event like having a new baby.