To not be surprised that divorce rates are so high when I see how some friends treat their husbands??

You are being sexist rather than unreasonable. But you know that, right?

you think thats why you should be ashamed?

you poor little fool

Crashed and burned, op.

Crashed and burned,

Worra knobhead.

She is a woman on her other thread.

I think the OP is a man. A man called Peter who isn't best pleased with his wife at the moment. It's one of those reverse threadies.

We-ell when I divorced my husband in my mid 20s I thought it was because he was an irresponsible piss-artist. Now I can see it was because he was a depressed irresponsible piss artist and I was a screaming control freak-both of use reacting to too little sleep, not enough space and too little money!

Have fun name changing.

Glad that you don't work in Marriage Guidance. Someone with your attitudes would be downright dangerous.

I think there is lots of divorce because people can and also there seems to be little trust these days...

no one on here anyway wants to share their money, so why bother?

I do think a lot of couples seem to get married without much thought/preparation - people seem more obsessed about the wedding day rather than discussing dull but practical issues like attitudes to finance/children/housework etc.

(DH and I have always slept separately and recently celebrated our 25th anniversary ).

Well quite AF

arethereanyleftatall fret not

joy and I do agree sometimes. I don't think we have ever "met in the middle" though

Better get that 'new' engagement ring whilst you can, OP, unless you have a crystal ball to foretell the future.

You're incredibly smug and, I think, goady. I know it's Friday but that's traditionally 'bumsex' for MN threads, not this.

amanda all that angst could be solved with just a daily blowjob dontcha know

CailinDana, wow, yeh, I have heard this too. Dreadful. Aren't they told that contributions and sacrifices should be equal

no way does this character work in marriage guidance.

Maybe he works for nuts magazine.

women don't tend to give out about their husbands if their husbands are doing even....... lets be honest 35% of the housework, 35% of the childcare.

My first husband was awful. Absolutely awful and I apologise to nobody for being the one to end it! I don't care about contributing to divorce statistics ! what a thought!

I'm just glad to be rid of an entitled selfish man. If I get married in the future I'll marry somebody decent.

Yes, as I said before. It's important not to let your new baby's needs, or those of you, the mother, get in the way of your husband's need for sex, for getting pissed, for staying out late, for making the decisions (apart from maybe deciding what laundry detergent to buy, I think women are ok to have that kind of power), or for pursuing his chosen hobby.
If you can't meet those needs then don't be surprised if he goes elsewhere for it (sex, getting pissed..) or divorces you.

Why is he sleeping in another room anyway?
Oh, probably because his need for an uninterrupted nights sleep is greater than yours.

DH would have loved to have slept in the spare room for an uninterrupted night's sleep. Why on earth would that be related to high divorce rates? Quite the opposite I would have thought.

I'm also not sure what children's routine has got to do with anything either. I didn't have much of one (apart from bedtime routine) but I'm sure that DH wouldn't have cared one way or the other.

Your description of your job (work in a marriage guidance setting) is very vague. Are you are marriage guidance counsellor or something else (e.g. receptionist)?

I think there's a compromise to be had joys mum and anyfucker.
Both these scenarios will end in tears:

1. Where one partner is a doormat, and the other takes the piss
2. Where once a baby is on the scene, all fun must stop.

Are we supposed to read your username as Piss for Peter?

I completely disagree there, joy

I think that those in loving relationships think that the bar should be set higher, a lot higher

My DH is currently sleeping in the spare because we have a 7 week old EBF baby and our toddler often sneaks in too in the middle of the night. He is there by choice and gets a lovely 8 hour uninterrupted sleep, the poor bastard, I bet he divorces me soon.

I quite agree.

I found it fascinating to see the relationship advice people dole out on mumsnet and then after being on here a while to realise that most of those I disagree with have been unlucky in love.

I think those in loving relationships tend to be more tolerant and forgiving, those who haven't been so lucky tend to be more dictatorial.

...and this is why I don't think much of joint relationship counselling and never have done

it boils down to how savvy the counsellor is (often, not very) and who shouts the fucking loudest (usually the abuser in the relationship)