to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

Lemon coloured v-neck jumper, he was a Mod.

He grew up to be a handsome dude though!

Am I the only one who tried to make the noise of a pig sucking jelly through a straw? These are hilarious

For buying me a huge bunch of flowers, right near the start of the 'relationship'. It creeped the bejaybus out of me.

Another one - his eyes started to freak me out.

He turned up in suede trousers.

Mine was when he said can you come over to mine, mammy has gone to mass so I dont have the car.

I realised he was sharing a car with his mother. It was bad enough living at home in his late thirties. It explained the reason for the tartan blankets folded neatly on the seats .ughhhhhhh

Didn't like the way he sucked his milkshake in BK .. gutted as he went onto marry my BF and is proper loaded whilst I am a single mum in a rented house.

BTW we are all still friends although don't think I ever confessed why I "chucked" him

He was an amateur rally driver and drove like that normally.

Prat.

Talked about himself too much.

Tried the line 'I thought I was gay but...'

Different blokes.

There was also the Irish bloke I shagged earlier this year, but didn't respond to his calls afterwards because I'd only actually shagged him as my 15yo self would have killed me for not shagging someone with an Irish accent when I got the chance to. Hearing 'you are so wonderful' in a Cork accent...

I dumped one because my mother liked him. He also wasn't that great looking so... Lol

Micro penis.

I ended cause of that once.

This thread is hilarious!!

Mine,

Grabbed one of my boobs and made a honk honk noise.

Claimed that once you've seen one pair of tits you've seen them all. Eh?

Poor personal hygiene. Went to give him a blow job and noticed loads of smeg around his foreskin. I abandoned that very quickly.

Way too keen. Kept dropping hints about getting engaged as he was at the right age to get engaged.

Small chubby hands. I didn't actually notice till my Mum pointed them out and then I couldn't bear him touching me with them.

Turned down a date with a really gorgeous bloke because his teeth were awful. All black and broken. Shame cos he was fit as fuck.

He had a gap where his upper right 2 tooth should have been - said it was his nipple nibbler

First time he took his clothes off I was so disappointed - knock knees, massive flat feet, skinny waist and curved shoulders. Bad acne on his back. Russet pubes and wonky willy.

Lady hands/wrists
Sloping shoulders

I also once asked someone to tell me something about himself that no-one else knew. I was expecting him to show his sensitive side and reveal some deep and meaningful thoughts about how he views himself and life in general.

He told me that sometimes when he's in the shower, he likes to stick the shower head up his arse.

Would scrape fork across his plate (ears are bleeding recalling this) and put his knife in his mouth.

It was def over when I saw him put his hand in a bowl of peanuts, ram peanuts down his goblet, then shove pretty much his entire hand back in his mouth to lick off salt, and then..put his saliva ridden claws back into the peanut bowl. I could only watch on in horror.

God this thread is funny, I've only just found it - may be resurrecting it!

Ok.... He kept texting me constantly and they were all epic essays about how much he liked me. Getting close to bunny boiler levels

He liked Vanilla Ice at the age of 36

He referred to his bum as his bum bum

All of the above was the same guy

Four words. Knife like a pen...

Talked about himself in 3rd person and snapped and pointed his fingers like fonze every time he made a joke

Another one used to wank into a sock (in front of me) and put it back I'm the drawer. I was 17, i didn't realise this wasn't normal until I asked a friend!

Love my husband but -

He sneezes loudly and claims not to be able to suppress them.

Fancies Rachel out of Friends.

Wears two pairs of socks at all times.

Spends hours on the loo.

Jeez - how could I forget the buck toothed bloke with the David Baddiel t shirt?

He was too mean to buy curtains so had blankets hanging from the windows.

He was equal stingy regarding sex - he would shoot his bolt but never satisfy me. I had a wank out of sheer frustration and he told me off for disturbing his neighbours with my... Ahem... Vocalising...

Yet another - ordered two vodka and oranges to be delivered at same time and got stroppy with waiter when asked if he wanted them in same glass. Had terrible sex later - despite his big ego, willy was small and floppy.

Another - a priest I shagged all night actually got up, put his dog collar on and went to preach to the masses about the benefits of a sin free life.

Also - Mr Ugly Yellow Toenails who kept scratching me with them. Also, he used to try and fuck me in the morning without cleaning his teeth - ugh.

He "taught" me how to dry myself in the shower cubicle (just use one quarter & rotate) so that a towel would then last for a week, and then another week on the floor.

He didn't see the difference between good bread and cheap bread. And why a little of the former is better than buckets of the latter.

He didn't like it when I spent time reading.

I had a mohair jumper (90's) and he berated me for cruelty "the poor Moes"

Same guy.

Met him 5 years later and he was still pissed off with me for dumping him

He kept telling me, in a put on foreign accent, that his dick was "beeg, uh?!" (It wasn't)

Another guy - his nose was a funny shape and he told me his flat feet meant he had to wear Dr Scholl sandals at school.

Another guy - he said he'd had sex with a sofa.

Yet another - I heard a rumour that one of his testicles had been removed and replaced with a ball bearing (ok, I was 15).

The first (and last) time I stayed over, he pissed the bed.