Why are the richest always the tightest?

MissMilbanke (ref collection tins) I have to say men are always more generous than women !

But see - it's not a fair measure of generosity really, is it? On the whole, men have more coins to hand, in their pockets, so it's easier for them to safely stop and contribute. Whereas by and large, women have less coinage, and it's in the purse, in the bag, on the shoulder. So they'd have to stop, rearrange bags, rifle through handbag, get out purse, risk dropping cards etc all over the shop...

I'll always put something in one of the those tins Millbanke I will not have any truck with chuggers though or with anyone who calls at the door for sponsorship.

What people don't know is what goes on behind the scenes, be it levels of debt or gift aided standing orders to charities, etc..

Somebody posted upfront about never putting money into shaking tins on the high street.

I volunteer for a small local charity. We get one day a year (all through the proper channels in the council) for our small group of volunteers to stand on the street with our tins.

Its very times consuming for very little reward in reality and its sad to think that some people will deliberately not contribute - But its one way we can raise awareness and raise some funds.

I have to say men are always more generous than women !

Bill Gates - tight fuck
Warren Buffet - skin flint.
Fuckers.

Pag

It's all true. When we raised the money to buy our factory, we didn't work out arses off to look after our staff and pay them a living wage and good bonuses at all.

We charged them for loo roll, but them all on zero hours contracts, and fifty hour shifts and hit their mums with sticks.

After years of being stupidly skint things are looking up and I can't wait to start kicking puppy's and stealing biscuits.

Of course now we are not poor we've had to quite rightly downsize the television, stop randomly putting new cars on the drive and sublet the goat.

Exactly.
X-posted with CharityCase.

Agree wholeheartedly. I grew up in a working-class poor household. My mum used to feed all the local children with her baking. Many were even poorer than us.
On our wedding day we received a much smaller gift from our qc barrister cousin than we did from our lorry driver one.
This continues now with birthday gifts. The child whose mum is on benefits gave 3 times as much as the family with two working parents. I was actually embarrassed to take it.
Although tbf both my working class parents and dh middle class ones have been equally generous towards us and our siblings. Dh is also generous too.

I also find that if I go to lunch and just let the bill be divided up then I am fucking stingy and mean.
If I go to lunch and pay for everyone then I am a flash twat who thinks she is better than everyone else.

I think British people, in particular, can also be very cautious of looking flash or embarrassing others with shows of generosity. I was out the other night with a group, and we had a couple of bottles of champagne (between 10 of us). The bill came, and one of the girls, who is a partner in a city law firm, just paid the whole bill and said "my treat", which was generous of her, but some of the other girls felt very uncomfortable about not paying their share (possibly because they knew they couldn't afford to reciprocate), and were pressing their share of the cash on her. So I think sometimes it can backfire.

Oh god yes.
When I was poor I was a lovely warm generous person - salt of the earth and kindness personified.
Now I am well off I am a massive cunt and I regularly kick puppies.

Because, you know - that's what people are like

[true fact]

I think meanness crosses the divides too. My FIL was unspeakably careful but generous in thought; MIL on the otherhand is positively a skinflint and mean in thought.

I don't think you can generalise and I'd also be quite interested to know how wealthy is being defined on this thread. I know many people who look as though they are living incredible lifestyles and I mean £2/£3 million houses, two year old shiny 4x4 volvos, lovely holidays and wardrobes but who underneath the facade have unbelievable levels of debt.

Owl, loads of people think it is okay to slag of those on benefits!

Not on Mumsnet.

I was only talking about MN but didn't make that clear. On MN is is actually perfectly acceptable to slag off the "rich" but those on benefits are a protected section of the community.

I dunno but think that perhaps it is precisely because they are taught to respect money that they don't go splashing it about. Isn't that the best way to spot a nouveau riche - brand new car and flash with the cash?

Buying rounds and things shouldn't be included in that though, that is just being tight

Owl, loads of people think it is okay to slag of those on benefits! Have you never heard of the daily mail?!

YABU to generalise, but I do get what you are saying.

Everyone's definition of "tightness" is different.

My parents are pretty wealthy but hate giving money to charity. So DS was collecting for Lepra ( have to say I fundamentally disagree with children being press ganged into chugging their nearest and dearest however worthy the cause) and my DM & DF only gave a couple of pounds - but then gave DS £10 for himself. So on the one hand they were a bit tight, but on the other incredibly generous.

I tend not to sponsor too many people for charity events unless I a) like the person and b) like the cause, but I sponsor a child with a monthly contribution. Does that make me tight?

Interesting thread.

YABU to generalise

My Dad is very wealthy and has some eccentric habits around saving money and overall is mean

My best friend is wealthy and they are generous and thoughtful , she's always got her wallet out first to pay for lunch.

I agree though people will often assume it's fine to borrow money and not pay it back or other people to foot bills if they are well off. I was temporarily rich and my DB was happy to accept or orchestrate hand outs left right and centre. Horrible.

I do find it interesting how it is perfectly acceptable to slag off "rich people" and not those on benefits.

I'm well off and I never give money away to people at the door, because I am very very very careful about money. We were on benefits when I was a child and I will never hand over cash on a whim. It's far to easy for the foundations to be kicked out of your life and to suddenly find yourself unable to pay the mortgage.

That's not to say I don't donate, but I do it direct to a charity via cheque or direct debit, and only after confirming the charity's details on the Charities Commission website. I'd never give money on the doorstep unless I was expecting to (e.g. I know when the Rotary Club 'sleigh' will be round at Christmas).

I also won't buy things I don't really need (because I object to excess buying both because I don't want to spend money I don't need to, and because I view buying stuff I don't need as environmentally irresponsible), and if I can avoid paying full price I will (because that's how we were brought up). I mend the family's clothing myself, repair furniture myself, cook from scratch where possible, etc. It's just good money management.

I also refuse to buy or accept rounds because I hate being indebted to anyone and that sort of thing never works out equally, which leaves me worrying about whether I owe anyone.

Sharon, I have!

Fraidycat, I totally disagree with your point 2b. If you think it is 'illogical' to give money away if you have any debt (including mortgage!) or unmet savings target, then pretty much no one would give money away as they would never meet your extraordinary criteria!

I think the clue to why you have this attitude cones from your terminology. I don't regard giving to charity as .
'giving money away'. I regard it as paying into a better society, combating cruelty, combating injustice. I don't think of these decisions as dictated by logical or illogic but by the more human emotions of empathy and fairness.

Nosleeptillbedtime. They sound awful. I'd get myself a new group!

I'm always a bit suspicious of people who throw their cash around in public displays of wealth. I'm well off but would hate to be thought of as flash.

I think LurkerSpeaks description would fit me too. I am generous but I would hate to feel used.

We have more cash than any of our extended family and it's very noticible that some people think we should always be the ones paying for everything all the bloody time. It's really irritating. My BIL and his wife have had a few large loans from us, including a last minute desperate request for money (a lot) for their very fancy showy wedding. They never paid us back but managed to do work on their house and go on holiday. They have never paid any of their loans back to us. They have no shame. The wierd thing is that, I think, they think we are mean. Yes we can afford it but it doesn't mean I want to pay all the time.

Sorry, I'm ranting...

I could go on...

Anyway OP, I think YABU to think the rich are the tightest, it's as wrong saying the poor are the bitterest

Because nothing matters more to rich people than their money!

The people in my nct group all come from very privileged backgrounds and are very well off. The are also the most 'I'm alright Jack' unsupportive bunch I have ever come across. I have wondered if this is due to them expecting everything to go their way as it always has. Or maybe they are just individuals who are like that.

I generally think tipping is a key determinant of whether someone is simply careful or selfish. Not tipping when someone is on min wage and no service charge is cheap and selfish and therefore tight.

This is simply not true.

Do you tip every time you go through the Tescos checkout because the person serving you is probably on minimum wage?

Do you send your child into school each day with money to give the lunchtime controllers a tip because they are on minimum wage?

No, I thought not.

Tipping is something that should be done as gratitude for exceptional service, not something that should be expected. I agree that when paying a bill of £500 for a meal a tip should be given if the service has been good, but I've never known of an expensive restaurant where a businessman would take clients that doesn't include service charge as part of the bill. High end restaurants nearly always put at least 12% service charge on the bill as standard, in which case there is no need to tip extra.