To wonder if a lot of people who are Christians have had a rather nice life?

I'm not sure if the thousands of Christians all over the world who are in prison or otherwise persecuted for their faith would agree with you

OP I very much agree.

I heard Christians tell me " god doesn't give out anything we can't handle".

Tell that to most of my tormented mental health patients who have had lives of sheer tragedy .

I'm a Christian. Became religious fairly recently. My life has not been easy (childhood abuse, past DV, various other things).

I think it can be easy to form an image of the church based on the people you meet or see in the media and I also think it can be very confusing for people without faith to understand how anyone who has suffered can believe - from an outsider's perspective it doesn't seem possible for suffering and faith to exist within the same life.

I think you just happen not to have met many Christians who don't have stable backgrounds. But we are out there. I would also caution against making assumptions about people's backgrounds, past histories, etc.

I think faith has different purposes and is expressed in different ways depending on how and when people find it.

OP, I think you are confused at what people are getting offended about.

It has nothing to do with your view of your Christian union friends who I am sure are all lovely. It has everything to do with the fact that you are making a huge generalisation/assumption. The term Christian is so broad and your OP attempted to place all christians into a narrow 'stereotype' you have presumed from a narrow experience (university CU does not represent all Christians).

In your experience of middle-class, white Christians you met at university, that is.

Are you really unable to understand that this is a very narrow sample of a global church?

The Christian Union where I went to university was just like that too Op! Maybe you are onto something......

Although now I think of it so was the athletics club. And the hockey club. And the drama club. And the......

(I went to Cambridge.)

My own experience is that I live a very charmed life. Good health for all of us, lovely husband, great kids, interesting job, plenty of money. The only thing I lack is a good nights sleep. I am very vaguely Christian but don't really feel the need for God - dh and I are doing just fine on our own.....

No LRD what is central to Christianiy as a faith - and leave the 'organisation' out of it - is the fact that we are all in a state of sin, unable to save ourselves from that and Jesus Christ died for each of us. Bad things happen to good people and bad things happen to people with faith and yes Christians will cry out 'why' - read the Psalms, always have done. Bottom line is God is with us in all of the bad and the good. Having faith doesn't mean you accept hard things, doesn't mean you find it easy. It just means you aren't alone. There is something more and that more is the saving Grace that come from God.

YABVVVU and clearly very naive.

"a life that is generally dysfunctional and chaotic."

I know many Christians who've had that life in the past, been raped as a 6yo, neglected chronically by parents, been heavily into drugs, tons of stuff. But part of being a Christian is coming into a new life, so as a Christian you would not continue to lead a life like that, and would seek to overcome it. I think someone upthread said that maybe they have a nice life because they are Christians. I think there is nothing 'nicer' than having a faith, a sense of identity and purpose.

I don't find the title offensive.

Not to get heavy, but I think it's actually kinda central to Christianity and organized religion, isn't it?! Isn't the whole point to wonder what relationship faith has to the kind of life you have? And for most normal people that involves saying 'why do bad things happen to me'. So it's natural to compare yourself to others and ask whether faith is something you only have if you're happy and nothing challenges that faith.

Well you are insulting me actually OP. I'm white, middle class, been to university and I have a happy life with my husband and my kids in a home we can pretty much afford etc etc. So the IMPLICATION of your post is that it's easy for me to be a Christian because of all of the above and I take from that you feel therefore that my faith is second class in some way.......which I'm sure you would agree is not a great thing to be implying.

"Actually most christians I know well have had fairly Shitty things happen in their life."

Same here. The husband of one lost his arm in a car accident. One had a child killed in a road accident, one had a child killed in a plane crash, one is married to an alcoholic, and one was widowed at 27 and left with three children under the age of six, one of whom subsequently died in her late teens.

Not a great advert for being religious is it.

That said, nearly all the Christians I know are white and middle class, and many are in or have held professional jobs. This might be more to do with where we go to church as, admittedly, we do live in a naice area.

OP, go back and look at your post. You say you know 'a few Christians' and then elaborate that they are white, affluent etc...you then suggest its easier to believe in God if you've had a nice life...

I think you have a very narrow view and you aren't recognising this.

Seriously, I lost my niece when she was 3 days old. It didn't matter how much I had in the bank or whether I had paid for school or had a SAHM...losing my niece was not 'a nice life'....

how on earth can you presume to know what was going on behind the closed doors of the lives of these Christian friends whose lives you claim we're nice?

I know the ones! I think what you will find though is that this generation (ours) will be the one where that dies out. They were the reason that I couldn't face becoming a Christian from a fairly young age, tbh, and rejected God (not that it was his fault but it was all muddled up in my head). In the end (at a low point) I did find somewhere with a Christianity that was a lot more genuine and fun and honest.

You only have to frequent the stately homes thread for a while to understand that all the stereotypes you allude to mean fuck all to do with someone having a nice life

I know what you mean. I think there is a certain type of Christian- in my experience the overly evangelical and holier-than-thou type- who fit what the op is describing. It's a certain type of Christianity, with cliques and a hierarchy and a general lack of experience. They use god to look down on others, whilst again in my experience, a lower-class and hard working type of Christian exists who has had as shit a go of it as the rest of us, and uses god to look forward, to find hope, and to seek perspective.

The latter type I respect and admire. The former, I want to poison with little white biscuits!

My university CU would certainly fit your description - but it was Durham! It wasn't the Christians who were like that it was 80% of the student body.

I have to say I too find the OP's title offensive. Dh and I have just been running through the Christians we know - and many of them are white and middle class btw - who have endured all sorts of sadness and suffering. What do you reckon OP - did they just brush it off because of their faith?

I'm sorry you don't feel God in your life right now OP. That isn't the fault of other Christians though. There are times when it's easy to pray and times when it physically hurts to do so. Whatever stage you're at though - He is there.

I have always believed. I have a nice life now. 3 DCs, a dh who earns well, I also have a good job. But 13 yrs ago I was an immigrant living in a garage.

I still believe. The only difference between then and now is that my work in the church is non existent as I have little spare time.