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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you do if your DP was a zombie

137 replies

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 12:52

Would you attempt to kill them.

If zombies turn humans into zombies would your rather be a zombie like your DP

OP posts:
Lweji · 03/11/2013 20:47

But, Squeak, you know how pharmaceuticals are. We'd probably end up in a true zombie apocalypse caused by them.
Or he'd en up in a lost spaceship somewhere to be discovered centuries from now by some cargo ship...

Which reminds me: zombie vs alien. What so you reckon would happen?

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 20:46

Depends on what family member.

OP posts:
Lweji · 03/11/2013 20:43

Oh, sorry, it was the CDC. Can't do the link ATM.

Alisvolatpropiis · 03/11/2013 20:41

I would kill him.

Well, kill him again. As he would be a reanimated corpse.

Grennie · 03/11/2013 20:40

Yes if you kill your DP, beat the body and face a bit and then leave it to rot a bit, surely the body will just look like a zombie?

In which case insurance companies will never pay out for a zombie death.

Pedallleur · 03/11/2013 20:40

Decapitation doesn't work, the head still 'lives'. It has to be a penetration into the brain via a bullet, spike,knife, whatever. And yes, my dp has to go. What about the last helicopter is taking off and you are running to get it. The zombies are behind you and a member of your family falls down. Do you keep running as the zombies now can feast or do you go back and make a last stand?

Lweji · 03/11/2013 20:36

I believe the WHO have a zombie apocalypse plan.

In any case, if you plead zombie how do the prosecution prove he was not a zombie? Are there zombie diagnostic tests to be applied if the corpse is no longer walking, biting and moaning?

moominleigh94 · 03/11/2013 20:35

Let him eat me and then shoot him

A girl's got needs.

totally not lowering the tone

VerySmallSqueak · 03/11/2013 20:32

I would sell him to the nearest giant pharmaceutical company as their chance to develop a cure,and make a 'killing'.

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 20:26

LEM that sounds interesting, was it for a movie or a show.

OP posts:
LEMisafucker · 03/11/2013 18:59

I got a job based on my zombie apocalypse plan however it was the worse job I ever had.

As for DP, id kill him then kill myself

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 03/11/2013 18:51

I'd do a Michonne and turn him into a guard zombie. I've told him this, he was quite upset.

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 18:47

m.ebay.com/itm/360544241120

You all need to get one of these.

I like your thinking Gordy

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 03/11/2013 18:45

am I the only one who'd be a zombie - much more fun than the constant, exhausting, endless running and hiding and fighting Grin

DulcetMoans · 03/11/2013 18:42

shatnersbassoon is my new favourite MNetter name. Plus, accurate quoting of Shaun of the Dead. You made me happy!

ipswichwitch · 03/11/2013 18:22

I would say I probably wouldn't notice but for the fact he'd be considerably less feckin moany. A bit of "mmmmmreegehhghh" would be like music to my ears compared to the bloody whinge-fest he's had today

StealthPolarBear · 03/11/2013 18:19

WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAT official guidelines?
Someone put me out of my misery here!
Back in 5 mins - off to lock the door

StealthPolarBear · 03/11/2013 18:19

Can you imagine setting up the life insurance
"Details of pre-existing conditions:
Death, decomposition, rabid killer instincts, taste for human flesh. Type II diabetes. Mild glaucoma."

ShatnersBassoon · 03/11/2013 18:17

Official guidelines state you need to remove the head or destroy the brain. I'd stand a better chance of destroying his brain, so I'd go for that. Probably use the crowbar or garden fork through the eye.

complexnumber · 03/11/2013 18:13

Isn't being locked in the shed male Zombie heaven?

StealthPolarBear · 03/11/2013 18:13

Littleredzombiesquirrel errrr what documentary?
Worried about the number of people who have had serious conversations about this - is there something I should know?

Grennie · 03/11/2013 18:10

Maybe I should contact the insurance company and see if my policy includes zombie attacks?

SilverApples · 03/11/2013 18:09

Decapitate him with a machete.
Yes, I have an OH, a machete and can fence with a sabre.
Sorted.

StealthPolarBear · 03/11/2013 18:07

I'd probably be killed by him while shouting DH HAVE YOU SEEN THE OH FUCK RUCKSACK ANYWHERE?

ZombieMojaveWonderer · 03/11/2013 18:06

I would smash his brains in! I may just do that now and say that 'I thought he had turned in to a zombie' when the police turned up to arrest me ;)