To be fed up of the same children winning all the awards at school?!

At our school every child in the oldest year has to win a prize, all the children are in sports teams and everyone who wants to is in the plays/choirs.

BUT:

1)) We are a private school so we have the money/contacts/resources for more stuff.
2) Prizes for all doesn't stop the fact that some children get one prize and others get 5.
3) Not all children can be on the A teams or have lead parts or be in best choir.

Being an involved person doesn't get your children things either (ime). I'm the Performing Arts teacher and my daughters, who (as is to be expected, genetically speaking) are very good at dance, drama, singing and music will never have the lead part because I am responsible for the casting so I couldn't cast my own children in the best part. And my influence is never going to get my eldest on a top sports team or my youngest an academic prize because they just aren't that good at those things.

Such is life. They do plenty outside of school anyway.

It's hard because of course children who are good in any given area should be rewarded, however my DD has always struggled at school, we do extra work at home to help her to just keep up with her peers not to excel. She works bloody hard and is classed as being just below average, she recently got a achievement certificate for "working well independently" rather than needing adult involvement to complete her class work, the certificate she got has had the effect of increasing her confidence more, so providing a positive cycle of feeling like she's done well and achieved something so is then able to work better because she feels better about herself and has more confidence so is then more confident in her work.

Recognizing the effort put in by children who try really really hard but aren't the best at anything is also very important.

I don't agree with awards not going to the person who is the "best" just because it's not their turn either. What I mean is that different talents need to be recognised rather than the same ones all the time. I don't mean that someone should be given a prize for being the fastest runner if they're not!

I have no issue with the best kids at sports being picked for teams etc. BUT. I just don't think that at primary school there should be these awards at all. Success in life / work has very little to do with who was the best at football or maths. It does have a lot to do with personality and confidence. To have your confidence shat on starting in primary is rubbish. High achieving kids will go far whether or not they are awarded 'head kid'. They don't need that extra boost. Less able kids certainly dont need to have it pointed out that however hard they try, they will not get any recognition. Sure fire way to make you stop trying.

Well put Evieanne, it's about recognising that talent and ability comes in many forms.

I have one child who never wins anything much, one who scoops up every prize going, and one who wins prizes for things like "Creativity". Nothing to do with parental input, one of my dds is highly motivated by prizes and competitions, she's keen (ok, bossy and confident and in your face) and tends to sign up to things, especially if there's a prize. She also has a growing collection of Blue Peter Badges and every badge it's possible to get in Woodcraft folk (which is quite an achievement as it's not an organisation that rates badges and individual achievement much). With the effort she puts it it would be unfair if she didn't get these things.

Our schools try quite hard to reward the quiet and shy children, but even then it's only some sorts of quiet ones - my quiet arty one wins prizes, but my other quiet one tends to be overlooked. It must be quite hard for the teachers.

FWIW too, my son would love recognition that he has gone from being one of the lowest performers in maths to one of the highest, he's worked hard at it but he probably won't get anything, he will be happy with his 100% attendance certificate, I am sure!

Some children are just much more visible than others, they are in teams, do well academically, in school plays and so on. Mine are like that, it's partly because they are very self-confident and good readers so are able to learn lines/be relied upon to perform, but it's also partly because we do lots of activities, so my eldest gets picked for the swimming team each year not because she's a brilliant swimmer but because she has been in lessons for years and puts in a lot of effort. They join anything, will participate in everything, choir, plays, teams, after-school sports clubs, so it is not surprising they then appear in teams/plays (not always picked, not ever in a starring role, but just taking part).

I agree the school has to provide opportunities for all talents to be recognised and they do- there are no academic prizes at all (much to my husband's disgust), they do talent shows anyone can enter, anyone can be in the school play, in every class assembly all children speak and so on. But the plain fact is that some children are just good at everything, whether it be because they have a positive attitude and will have a go at anything, or because their family join everything and they get extra experience, it's inevitable these children are more visible in the school as a whole. The school needs to be careful though to encourage the quieter ones to come forward, and I think say them all taking part in each assembly rather than just a few star performers with the rest singing at the back makes a really big difference.

I agree with cory too- mine often have very minor parts in plays (the last one was non-speaking!) or come 4th out of 4 in the swimming competition, but I always encourage them to put themselves forward and try hard, and to cope with disappointment with this, in fact, I think competitions are good for this because it's very important that you can accept losing, or getting a low score, or coming last (as my dd did in all her races on sports day) but keep going.

I am going to get shot down for this but I hate the "everyone wins" thing. Because its not true.

If you have a talent, an ability and you work damn hard to get better and excel why shouldn't you be recognized?

Why should you not get an award because you won last year and it's not fair to the DCs who didn't win?

Why should people not be picked for teams/events even though they are the best, because it's someone else's turn?

My ds1 plays an instrument, he has for about 6 years now. He has never won a prize for it, never represented the school playing it. Because, he isn't outstanding at it. He doesn't put as much effort into it because he puts more effort into sport and school council.

I don't think it's "his turn" to get an award.

I can see your point OP. DD1 (10) gets picked for every bloody thing going - cross country, netball matches, school plays (started with Mary in reception nativity). She won the academic achievement award this term too. Not sure why.. She is very confident gobby and a bright girl. While I am thrilled for her and proud, I can well see why some of the other parents would be thinking.. Her again?? It is certainly nothing to do with me, I am as uninvolved with the school as they come

My sons school offers award certificates twice a year for some spurious reason The children know this is how it works and so it doesn't encourage achievement.

The muttering children who have fronted the assemblies and school productions since they started did get a complaint from some parents, no one could hear a word he said as he always spoke too fast and mumbled. There should be the opportunities for all to have a good go at it, rather than picking the favourite.

This isn't to say that those who have talent shouldn't be shown, they should be proud of their achievements, but it is against the blatant favouritism that is shown in DS1s school.

I don't think my dd is entitled to win all the awards, just because, but if the school has awards for XYZ and dd happens to be top/win at XYZ then yes, she should win.

Her achievements are just that: achievements, for her. Is she any better, as a person, because she wins loads of school awards? Of course not. And neither she, nor I, think that she is. She doesn't have a huge ego, and doesn't expect to win, but is quietly confident of her own abilities.

She is as pleased, btw, when her sister (severe learning difficulties) earns a school award for 'nice listening' or 'good sitting' or works her way through ORT level 1 (her sister is in Year 4), as she is when she herself is awarded a prize for consistently working 3 years ahead in maths or literacy. Because she recognises that different people have different strengths a d weaknesses, and that a certificate for 'good listening' is probably harder for her sister to achieve than the maths prize is for her to achieve. But that doesn't make either of the awards more or less valuable, just different. And we celebrate the ones that dd1 earns (even though they are 'easy' for dd2) just as much as we celebrate the ones that dd2 earns (even though they will never be achievable for dd1)

Doesn't your school have a range of awards? Surely a school should have awards for sport bit also for maths, art, most improved, most books read....I don't know. Bit something to ensure that not only one type of talent is always rewarded.

My DSs went to a large primary where all were valued and recognised -however a prize for the best should go to the best- otherwise why have one?

Again, life is like that. Work hard, try hard and you'll win.

So how does that work if there are 30 children in the class, 15 of whom do the above - and there's one prize...?

My son is about to get his first prize for chess. He is NATURALLY really good at chess, has done a bit of work and goes to chess club. But really he is quite lazy and this prize is for his talent, winning not his effort.

I don't think you are BU at all. I work in a school where all children's different "gifts" are truely valued and acknowledged. We spend alot of time thinking of ways to help EVERY child to have the opportunity to shine. An example of this is that we send some teams to sports events that are picked on ability and some that are picked on giving children the experience. We do talent shows that are just for fun and a free for all and one that is "judged". It's not so much nobody loses, everyone wins, it's a firm belief that we are all talented in different ways and that it is important to celebrate that, particularly in children.

I work in a small village primary school but my Dd goes to a large city Junior school which has several hundred pupils and they STILL manage to find ways to let lots of different children be recognised and to participate.

I don't see any "face fitting" and certainley no "alpha parent" with ds1.

I have to admit you make a fair point Balloons and present it well. Let's face it there are going to be opposing anecdotes across the board here (including mine!) so interesting, but not much use in terms of proving anything.

Having said that I really feel that OP is NBU nor is the one (sorry I just can't find it now) who is thinking of keeping her son off school on awards day. It must surely be possible to dream up some sort of scheme that recognises progress/ability etc in all areas so that there is a whole range of children being included, not just the usual suspects.

And well spotted Exotic I'm well and truly rumbled!

Great posts by cory

YABU

My parents were the furthest from being 'pushy' you could imagine, very WC & very surprised & delighted to have bright children.

I got lots of prizes at school for academic things, that's life.

As a child I would find it very patronising to be given a prize because 'it was my turn' when I knew that there were DCs who stood out as better.

You must still be a bit narcissistic if you still believe that now Evieanne!

Actually I find this thread really depressing all this - look at my son, daughter, work really hard, great at everything why shouldn't they get all the rewards blah, blah, life's not fair, why shouldn't people learn that sooner rather than later....

Back in the day, there were a couple of sporting and academic awards - now it is expanded to a ridcolous level with people getting more than one award. So not required and makes the majority of kids feel like s**t. I would actually like the majority to feel good rather than the uber achievers ps:who will continue to get all the goodies.

Yes, my children win awards because their parents, who both work full time and don't do the school run and aren't on the PTA or board of govenors, faces fit. Yes that's it. Nothing to do with their effort and attainment at all. No.