To be fed up of the same children winning all the awards at school?!

willyyou your reasons for keeping your DS off school that day seem pretty sensible tbh.

I am considering keeping him off not because he won;t be getting an award but because his Asperger's syndrome means that not getting an award will mean that he will question me..almost constantly... why he didn't get anything..all summer. He will feel very hurt.

Why can;t school shut the fuck up about how bloody clever and wonderful a small group of kids are. We all know that some people are life's winners and some are life's losers. It doesn't have to pointed out again and again, who is who.

Some children would find winning a prize an ordeal- they don't want to be singled out. I can't think that I won many prizes at school- I only remember winning 'most progress for swimming' and I would rather not have done, it was only because I was a non swimmer, scared of getting my face wet, at the start. DS3 got a prize for French but he never kept up the early promise and therefore we always had rather an inflated view of his abilities. He also got student of the month and a voucher,
but we only found out by accident, a term later.
Like most people, my DCs and I went through school without many prizes and yet are reasonably successful, well balanced people.

I always get the impression on MN that many parents want to live through their DCs - they want the child on centre stage in productions, the one who is chosen for teams, the madly popular one who is invited to every party etc and yet their DC is probably like me and doesn't want any of it.

My DD was at a school where the fancy dress prize always went to the child of the PTA chair. Hmmmm - even the kids twigged that one, and that was unfair.
They also used to give drama parts to random children tho "build their confidence" which was purgatory for some poor kids who really really didn't want to be on a stage.

I found at my school the most biassed item by far in the school calendar was the casting of the school play. Drama teachers favourites every time. You could cast it yourself she was so blatant.

If a prize is awarded as an absolute: top mark in a subject, highest mark in an exam, fastest time at 100m then inevitably there will only ever be a small number of children in the running for such prizes.

Form prizes awarded by subjective teacher appraisal generally go to girlie-swot goodie-two shoes types. If a form prize is awarded for best achievement in exams overall then it will generally go to the same child all the way through school.

DD's present school does do prizes: music prize obviously goes to the child who practises instruments 3 hours a day and goes to the Royal College of Music at the weekend - they can't not give the prize to that child. The awarding of it is almost irrelevant.

They also do prizes for iniative and volunteering and charity work - and anyone could theoretically have a crack at that. Interestingly - that is where all the socially awkward boys seem to congregate.

So it would be nice to have some form of effort or "most improvement" prize otherwise it ends up a procession of the same few kids each time. Sports is a tricky one - every race has to be a winner. Perhaps there could be wacky team sports? My DD didn't win any race individually at sports day but her House own overall so she felt ok.

Any prize giving means 29 or so kids don't get anything. Perhaps school is the palce to start learning most of us are irrdeemably ordinary - or should school have to recognise progress as more important not innate ability?????

My children's ex primary went too far the other way, they had a weekly award that was used to encourage effort and good behaviour but those who could be relied on got ignored and the rewards near enough always went to those who struggled with learning or behaviour. The school had two exceptional pupils who were both academic and sporty neither of whom won anything until they moved up to secondary school. My own child turned round to me and said you only get rewarded if you are naughty, at that point I changed their school

Just read my post back - want to clarify, I don't think that everyone should get awards, only that the awards that are given should reflect a variety of achievements as opposed to just sporting or academic.

I'm also not a huge fan of big awards ceremonies at primary school full-stop. We just had a community spirit award, the house shield (we had four school houses and house points), a certificate was given to the child from each year group who had achieved the highest test results at the end of the year, and each class teacher picked one child in their class who they thought had worked especially hard/improved/excelled that year which was left at their discretion. Secondary school children are generally much more able to appreciate and understand why so-and-so got an award when they themselves didn't...

ArtemisatBrauron

If I could print your post out and nail it to the heads of the all-must-have-prizes lot, I would. Fucking A.

I am a teacher at senior school and this attitude from parents really gets my goat... I had a parent call me up to complain because their child didn't get an academic prize and "one child in the same year got 6 or 7 prizes"... well, sorry but that child got higher exam marks than your child in every subject, so there's not much I can do about it.
The academic prizes are awarded on numerical scores alone, not on whose parents are involved in school or who our "favourites" are.

I will never understand the aversion to meritocracy in this country. The same pupils who "win everything" will probably also get 11 A grades at GCSE and 3-4 A/A grades at A-level. That will then give them an advantage over those with mixed A/B/C grades. Should we take their A*'s off them and share them around equally?!

Keeping your children off school because they didn't win a prize is ridiculous and petty - they should be able to feel pleased for those who did win and celebrate with them, you're just teaching them to be sore losers by removing them.

There are many ways a school can encourage and motivate pupils of all abilities. But that really does mean of all abilities, including at the top!

Dd's school has a good scheme where pupils earn house points (obviously according to ability/aptitude/attitude) and these are tallied on a (individual) points chart. Each child can earn various prizes via Bronze/Silver/Gold/Platinum awards - prizes vary with the most recent being tickets to the semi finals at Wimbledon.

House are awarded for anything and everything, from effort to results to politeness and consideration, so it really is a scheme that every child has a chance at. Of course, some children have more opportunities to earn house points, if they are sporty and arty and academic and polite and considerate etc. but then if every variable is accounted for, it ends up making the achievements worthless - it is, after all a competition.

There is little point in using praise and reward ineffectively, as children know whether the achievement is real or not (whether academic or social or sporty)

I'm not sure it's very easy to get this right - and I applaud cory's posts.

I think it would be better just to have a very few awards - and to explain that awards are great, but they are not all that matters.

If you have loads of different awards for all sorts of things, you have two possible outcomes:

1. Everyone gets an award of some kind - so the awards themselves are devalued. Most children are not fooled by this, and I don't think it would be an altogether good thing if they were.

1. Lots of people (but not everyone) get awards and those that don't feel very sad indeed because LOTS of other people did.

If your children's self-esteem is being battered by it - rather than yours, as a parent - then surely your job is to bolster their self esteem by means other than school awards.

I'm preparing myself to be flamed here, but just want to point out that the gifted kids aren't all necessarily the happiest/most confident...

My sister was a capable, yet average, student in most things, and very seldom won anything at school or otherwise regardless of effort. She is a very happy, confident young woman with a really healthy attitude to life. I, on the other hand, constantly feel like I need to prove myself, that I haven't lived up to the general expectations of the people around me (not my parents I hasten to add - they are incredibly proud!), and have incredibly low self esteem. I got the highest GCSE results in my school, was an All England dance champion, got the lead in the school play, won awards (though never for sport as I was RUBBISH at anything involving running!) and was generally 'that child' described so many times above.

It's a question of balance really. Sometimes consistently being placed at the top of the pile is as bad/worse as being nearer the bottom; how can you ever live up to that as an adult?

I think that's a pretty long winded way of agreeing with everyone else who says awards at school should try to recognise a range of achievements, not just the best results/sport accomplishments. That way the kids at the top of the academic heap don't feel so much pressure, the middling ones get a chance to be recognised for their hard work and effort, and the ones toward the bottom are rewarded for effort and improvement in various things.

I believe that the children who work hard and develop the talents they have is just & right and that they should be rewarded/recognised.

However, ensuring that all children win some sort of award isn't necessarily patronising.

My DCs' school has a weekly "Achievement" certificate for each class and which all children win at least once a year.

Its not just for so-called high achievers but for any child who has worked hard to do something that they found difficult.

The certificate is presented by the HT in assembly and the children are extremely proud to get one.

Interesting topic. I think from my short school experience (eldest just finishing reception) that there seems to be a mix. Some children are genuinely talented, others receive things because their parents arse lick.

My DCs primary school only has a couple of awards at the end of each term, one is the House Cup, won by the house with the most house points, and the other is the Citizenship Cup, which recognizes the overall contribution to school life by an individual, and includes attitude, effort etc rather than achievement alone.

They do have an assembly each week, where one or two children are awarded a certificate, some for academic achievement ( xxx did well in spellings this week) or effort ( xxx made excellent effort with times tables this week)

I think this is ideal at Primary level as it recognises that everyone deserves recognition if they have made progress or effort, and at that age it is not just about ability but also effort and behaviour.

None of mine were ever particularly pleased to receive a certificate for 'sitting smartly on the carpet' though !

I do think it is different as you reach secondary school though, as older children are better able to recognise that awards should go to those with the greatest ability.

I think some kids are just more "visible" than others - maybe pushy parents, may be confident kids..

my eldest has Grade 3 piano (has piano lessons outside of school) but was never picked to be the "player-of-the-odd-twiddly-bits-in-the-play" because so-and-so "plays so well" and is taking his grade 1 through the school music service. He also got the musical ability award...

Hey ho..

I agree that indeed that's life and of course hard workers and high achievers should be rewarded. It doesn't really make sense to do it any other way.

It do sometimes feel sad for the average kid like my son. He is good at sports not great. He try hard at school, but does not acheive high marks. He is always in the 2nd or third row of any performance, never a lead part. He didn't get voted Head Boy or House Captain. He is an average, well mannered quiet kid who has loads of pals and is never in trouble.

The brighter, louder kids getlots of attention, and the troubled kids, or the SEN kids gets lots of attention too (quite rightly). Kids like mine just live under the radar, and I think it's ok to feel sad about that sometimes.

MissStrawberry - the awards don't have to be patronising to make sure everyone gets one.

For example, in the sports section we have prizes for the best player, hardest worker and most improved player in every year group in every sport. So that's 27 prizes per yer group straight off. In the performing arts section we have things like best actor and best actress but also a stage crew award and a technical crew award. For academics there are prizes for individual subjects as well as all around performance. And then there a whole range of prizes for things like citizenship and perseverance as well as specialist talents like chess, dance and outdoor pursuits.

I don't think anyone would feel patronised to receive any one of the 100s of prizes that get given out.

The worries I have with that system are that they prize means nothing because there are lots of them and that, inevitably, some children practically need a wheelbarrow to get their prizes off the stage whereas it has been a struggle to match just one prize to certain children.

I'm not really sure about this TBH.

I have sat through more school performances than I care to remember listening to some golden child sing completely out of tune. The same tune less, yet breathtakingly confident, children get chosen all the time. It is a bit of a chicken and the egg - are they confident because they get chosen all the time or vice versa?

With sport it is harder to fake - you either win or you don't.

I think, though, this is we're high school comes into its own. There is a far greater choice of activities and opportunities and the over looked children get a chance to try and even get good at new things.

I think it's a bit mean to comment on a child being 'inarticulate' to be honest. Being bright/popular doesn't necessarily equate to being good at public speaking and it might have been very difficult for that child to stand up and talk.

I'm with you OP.

I think schools sometimes need to think harder about what they are actually trying to achieve for their students. Do they really need to show off the best all the time so that the school looks good and they can be proud of their star pupils, or do they want every child to have the opportunity to achieve and feel proud?

You could have been talking about my ds, he was picked for everything. it was nice for him at the time, but it did nothing to teach him humility, or that everyone is valuable. I think he would have been better off learning those qualities at school where he is with his peers, rather than having to listen to me give him that balance when I as his parent should be able to do nothing but praise.

Dededum - I read your post as your son is good at cheese . I was really interested in what he did!

It's just a normal part of being a parent, isn't it?

My oldest is whip-smart. When I think of him, I always feel that it's best to reward achievement because how else will we compete with China!

My youngest is middle of the road. When I think of him, I am incensed at the prospect of him becoming aware of the fact that he's not as smart as his classmates, and I wonder why we must be so brutally competitive with kids at such a tender age.

Parents will always empathize with their own child, and view the world with this bias.

Better than some schools that give patronising awards just to make sure that every child gets one.

Award on merit or not at all. Not just because it is Jimmy/Jane's turn. Not just because you are teacher's pet/the parents donate to school often. And don't not give an award because you don't like the child/parent.

No point sending a child to a club where they don't like the subject or aren't any good at it but by all means every child should have an equal chance to try out to see if they are any good/enjoy it.

I have some sympathy with the OP. my DS1 was below average in writing in yr 1, but his teacher says he has been the most improved in his class and was one of only 3 pupils to get a level 3 for his writing this year. But nothing in the awards ceremony which does have awards for effort as well as achievement. It would have been nice for him to be recognised for it IMHO and would have given him a great confidence boost.

Well, if a prize is being given for a specific activity eg singing, drama, gymnastics then the prize should obviously go to the most talented person. But I think a lot of schools also give prizes at the end of the school year to the 'most helpful' student etc to try and even things out and, I suppose, get the message across that there are lots of different ways of contributing to the school/community and everyone has some kind of a talent.

I do remember once winning a tennis prize for 'most improved' and not really being fooled at all .