To be fed up of the same children winning all the awards at school?!

I can agree to both opinions here.
My G&T son just left primary school, lots of awards and lots of praise and recognition.
Yes, he deserved it. Yes, it was nice seeing my son up their on stage. Yes, I felt respected as a parent.

Now my remaining children at the SAME school are on school action. No, they aren't as academically bright as my eldest. No, they don't get awards. No, school staff don't seem to respect me as a parent anymore, now I am frowned upon for my poor parenting.
Last year it was all 'you should be proud, he is a reflection of you' and now it's issue after issue after issue and having fingers pointed at me for their lack of academic ability.
No I'm not over exaggerating. This is exactly how it is.
I feel sorry for my kids. I feel really angry.

Dd1 rarely gets anything which has never made sense to me. She's top of the class in numeracy and literacy (school displays what levels dc are on on a board) yet she is never clutching a certificate. I don't get it at all but dd has never mentioned it so I've left it.

I read an interview with Joe Root, the Yorkshire and England cricketer, who reminisced that although he was extremely good at sport at school he constantly missed out on awards because there was a girl at his school who always won them instead; infuriatingly, she seemed to be good at everything.

Her name? Jessica Ennis.

Perhaps the only winners are the children of those parents who just deal with any outcome in ways that can bolster their own child's self esteem, without being derogatory, bitter or jealous of anyone else's….

This (as a parent of two DC who are mediocre). I think my two recognise the achievements their peers are honoured for and are proud of them.

^I agree that indeed that's life and of course hard workers and high achievers should be rewarded. It doesn't really make sense to do it any other way.

It do sometimes feel sad for the average kid like my son. He is good at sports not great. He try hard at school, but does not acheive high marks. He is always in the 2nd or third row of any performance, never a lead part. He didn't get voted Head Boy or House Captain. He is an average, well mannered quiet kid who has loads of pals and is never in trouble.

The brighter, louder kids get lots of attention, and the troubled kids, or the SEN kids gets lots of attention too (quite rightly). Kids like mine just live under the radar, and I think it's ok to feel sad about that sometimes.^

All the arguments on this thread boil down to this excellent summary.

I think good Head Teachers can make sure that an awards ceremony gives the children something to work towards. One of the best schools I ever worked in had a HT who hated awards, but had to do them (it was a thing at that time) so she made sure that as well as naturally gifted children winning prizes that there were also prizes for effort and the likes.

My DS is at that school now and there's a boy in his year who is incredibly talented at sport. I wouldn't be surprised if this kid becomes a professional sportsman when he grows up so it's natural that he'll win a lot of prizes. However, the fact that the HT has a sporting effort award. The talented lad has won one year too - if he works hard he's got just as much chance, but last year he coasted at the local schools championships and was just more talented (his words were that he couldn't be bothered because he was saving his energy for paintballing) one of the other kids won it. Now all the kids know if they work hard they can win. It's the same with the maths and literacy prizes.

I did work in one school where it was very badly done. PTA Queen Bee's DD won everything the girls could win and ex HT's grandson won all the boys prizes, but tbh the prize giving was the least of your worries if you had a child at that school.

I have worked in both junior and senior schools for the past few years and it's generally easy to pick very early on who the prize-winners are going to be . They're the kids who do what's asked of them, often more. They're quiet and well-behaved are never given warnings or punishments for poor conduct. They hand in homework on time and they'll try to complete their task regardless of the disruption that's going on around them. They don't all come from 'pushy' parents, or have a narcissist working in the background.

These pupils are the 3yr olds who could sit on the carpet and listen to the story without fidgeting. They have interests out of school that aren't restricted to TV or X-box games. They can sit without a screen in front of them in public places and remember their manners.

I don't know what the magic formula is for making children like this - maybe they're born this way or maybe the parenting is the key (although siblings can be very different!) but the school knows that it can rely on these kids to attend an out-of-school event and give it 100%. They know that these kids can be crammed with preparation and will take on a challenge without becoming flaky. Many of these pupils will go on become managers and leaders and the prizes and accolades they get at school keep them spurred on to be more competitive with themselves and others. Other pupils just can't be relied upon to put in the same effort, despite having the same intelligence or ability.

It's not all about who you know or how involved the parents/carers are in the school, certainly it hasn't been in my experience.

My own high school was a not particularly great comp, I was academic and won a lot of prizes for those particularly in English, in Year 9 I won 2 prizes, one for being the only 1 to read through a 20 book list. They could hardly give it to someone else. In general I'm in favour of academic rewards because I went to a school were the sporty kids were also the popular crowd so it was nice to get something.

However, I do agree with the point about opportunity, at my school there was one teacher who was very enthusiastic about extra curriculars involving, singing, school events, representing the school, and church youth stuff.

He was also a massive dick who did not like me at all. At a certain point it became that the same 8 girls were ALWAYS asked to these events, sometimes they would give me the time for rehearsal and I would just have to show up.

At some point later I realised that all the children he picked fit a certain category
a) girls ALWAYS
b) pretty AND slim ALWAYS never chubby or plain
c) came from "good homes" ie parents still together and attending church

I think that awards are and should be merit based but sometimes opportunity to do things is favouritism.

That said : they do sometimes make a non-merit based fuss of kids in the care system. That I do support. Their lives are tough enough, they may as well get a bit extra.

*pissing about

jacks365 were you at our school, by any chance?!

That is exactly what we have to endure: pointless and frequent award ceremonies, during which mainly badly behaved kids get recognition for not posting about for a whole 10 minutes, or whatever.
DD1 and her friends are convinced that you usually get an award if you are a child who mucks about, but you're unlikely to ever receive recognition if you get your work done and behave well.
Great lesson to learn

AWOOGA AWOOGA

The reason for winning an award or being selected for a team is because, I would imagine, the children are actually good at what they do

actually the children are the best in their school year -

Usually loud bossy kids with loud bossy parents (or those who pretend they're not pushy)

Boy in DS class has been threatening a younger boy - long story but as Head Boy he should have the privilege withdrawn - he will no doubt win countless prizes at end of year -

It seems to be so, but it still hurts....

I know what you mean. It's the same faces up constantly getting recognition,
I remember I went to DD class assembly and the same children where up and down. Like bouncy balls.
It's like that in every school across the globe though. I don't doubt.

You are talking about my daughter and nephew (Who I have brought up) here. My 15 year old dd works her socks off at gymnastics and is currently being coached to represent her country in the next Olympics. She trains before school 3 days a week and at weekends. She always wins the "Outstanding Achievement for Sports" Award at school. My 14 year old nephew currently grade 8 ABRSM for singing and grade 7 London College of Music award for piano and violin. Why would he not be eligible for the School Music Award? How could a child of similar age who is just learning violin/piano/vocal compare? Why would the school not deem my nephew the most worthy of receiving the Award?

ZOMBIE ALERT

Well said! Totally agree

Shelles did you determine the link between PTA and awards to be causality or just associative?

Do kids get awards because parents are involved in the school, or are parents who are involved in the school more likely to encourage good effort, participation and achievement from their offspring?

There have been studies and books written that give evidence shows that the birth date has a great deal to do with success. Given the nature of the school year at primary and even lower secondary I would suspect that the high achieves for the most part have birthdays in the earlier part of the academic year. The early success and awards like this merely give them even greater an advantage.

I know the OP is very old, but I'm rather confused by it. First the OP complains that the same confident children win everything and get all the opportunities...and then she complains that one of the children who was given an opportunity is inarticulate and this means the school has low aspirations for its pupils! Both can't be true.

I disagree that it is always the 'best' kids who are chosen.

But I think schools can be guilty of picking the more confident,' in your face' type kids.

Ever child has talents and it is up to schools to seek out and nurture these talents but sometimes they just don't have the time and pick the easy option of the more obviously talented children.

Funny I remember at school I loved to sing and was a good singer but I was fairly quiet and never got picked to perform at anything because the school had decided that 'Mary' and 'Joanne' were the good singers so nobody else ever got a look in.

I think it's quite mean spirited of parents to assume that just because their kids get picked for everything that it's because they are the best.

It's not necessarily the case.

Are you an academic psychologist then rather than a clinical one? It what you do a University based project?

As a psychologist who has spent the last 12 months researching this very subject, my research is now internet based. (Hence I stumble on here 18 months too late and probably most people who posted on here will have long forgot end of year reports, prizes and rewards) But some of our findings were interesting. We asked a number of school to reward those who were in the top 10-20% academically, and some to reward purely on effort. Our findings were interesting: end of year scores revealed that the 10-20 percent group had almost exclusively rose to the top. Those rewarded for their efforts gained at least 4 sub levels in the AY. As a side issue we also found that children whose parents were on the PTA, helped at summer and Christmas fates and those who offered services to school were 90 per cent more likely to gain awards that those children of parents that did not. Of course there is an element of academic ability and like ability but it is not the full picture!!

I never won a thing as a child, I was averagely intelligent with undiagnosed and dyspraxia. I was quiet, well behaved and ignored.

It is gutting to know no matter how hard you try you no one will ever notice or reward it. I am sure that is a good lesson for life but it seems cruel to have it pointed out so early on. As an adult I know I am pretty useless but it would have been nice to have a few years where I could have believed that I could do it if I just tried really hard.

The message I took away from primary school was I was stupid, invisible, unpopular and ugly. I was basically a defective human being and there was really no hope for me. It is something that I have carried through till adulthood.

This was in part due to being constantly bullied and I also didn't get a lot of encouragement at home but someone telling me that there was something did well would have meant the world to me.

I don't think there should be prizes for everyone but I think they should be some prizes that everyone has a chance of getting. Stuff like fastest runner or best at maths should go to the children that are. There should be stuff like best at helping, kindest to others or most improved that all children could potentially obtain if they put the effort. They should still be earned and should still mean something but it they wouldn't be out of reach of anyone body who wanted to be aim for it.

No matter how hard I tried at school I would never have been best at maths/spelling/running etc no matter how hard I tried but I could have worked hard to be the most helpful child.

It is a sore subject to me, not only because of my own experiences but because my oldest son has autism. He will start school next year and it is very unlikely he will be best at anything since he will already significantly behind his peer group.

This is why I am not pushing for him to go to mainstream school. I would prefer him to go to a special school where hopefully they will encourage him and make him feel valued rather than have to learn he is considered less than his classmates early on.