To be fed up of the same children winning all the awards at school?!

head of the pta's child is the lead in the school plays main speaker in the school assembly represents on the school councils and has just been named head boy! he is all over the school newsletters too every time a picture needs to be taken to represent the school he is trotted out my son gets 100% attendance does not even get it recognised like the rest of the class (group photo in the lobby plus a postcard home when it's a full term) it gets ridiculous

It is ridiculous to suggest that hard work will get children prizes necessarily. There is no way I would ever have got an award for sport no matter how hard I worked. I'm not complaining as I am more than talented and privileged enough - anything to do with literature or music I would have hoovered up without breaking a sweat. I have studied with people who have worked so hard at things that come effortlessly to me and felt guilty while they asked me how I did it, because I had nothing to share about hard work, techniques, etc; on the other hand, there are supposedly basic things I have struggled with all my life and still have to work really hard at, at the age of 44, and if I stop concentrating on these areas for 5 minutes all hell breaks loose.

I have no complaints for myself, but it is so obvious to me from personal experience that talent has so much to do with success, that it is ridiculous to suggest that hard work = accomplishment.

The only award I ever got at school was in our jokey ones we did ourselves (the scarlet pimpernel award for ghost like presence, for refusing to attend religious assemblies.)
We never had awards, but then my school was poor to say the least.

Academic/sport awards should go to those genuinely best at them. ALL children should be encouraged and praised for effort, regardless of attainment

Only 4 posts before someone mentioned the PTA! Is this a record?

Some children do deserve most of the awards. Tom's mum was in charge when I was still a junior. I have only known Tom and his dad for 13 yrs. We met up in NZ, and, like you do, we talked about school, one girl in Tom's class got the lead in school play, prizes both academic and artistic but she had to leave school at 15,. Now hangs out with Taylor Swift. But at least his band (formed when he was 13) is now on Youtube and you can hear a couple of words from Tom near end of Tom felt at 13 she deserved even more school awards but they were shared out "to be fair". But I guess a grammy or two are fair compensation.

I know this is a zombie thread but just wanted to comment.

My ds (y5) gets a lot of rewards and certificates at school both for sport and his abilities in Maths, his last award was for completing two maths tests for two weeks in a row and getting full marks on both, no one ever in the history of the school has ever got full marks on these tests never mind twice in a row. I am proud of him and he deserved the award.
He deserves his sport awards too as again he is good at what at he does.

In all honesty now after reading this thread I can imagine that other parents may think I am pushy parent or whatever as I am most nights found talking to the teacher or ht at pickup. In reality it is normally due to my ds being a dick one way or another at school that day.

Is it bad to say I think sometimes these children would show more grace to step back occasionally and let others have a chance at the extra curricular stuff?
I was this child where music was concerned, I got all the awards, but sometimes when offered opportunities because of those achievements, I'd decline so it would be offered to someone else who wouldn't otherwise get chance to go.

hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard

Work hard and you'll win, is rubbish I'm afraid. I used to train 18 hours a week at my sport and put in huge effort, I would regularly win. However, I didn't train alone, I trained with people who put the same time and effort in but they didn't win regularly. It would've been nice to see awards for "most improved", "hardest trainer", "players player" etc. but that was the 70's and 80's and no one cared about "feelings" back then, lol.

Being considered by others as pushy patents is often just bollocks, they're often simply parents who are willing to make the effort in that particular area. I've been called a pushy parent because I am willing to put myself at considerable time, effort and financial stress in order for my DC to participate and excel sports they love. I had parents who did the same for me and I've thanked them s thousandfold for it.

Being born in the first third of the year is the best for sport as age grouping is usually done by age on 31 Dec or 1 January (swimming tends to be your age on day of competition). Sport done by age groups instead of school years that is.

Drama, sport - if you want your child to win these awards then put the effort in out of school. Sign them up to a drama group or sports club. If that's too much trouble then don't whinge!

Yeah because everyone can afford to sign there DC up to umteen amount of clubs

In one primary school my DC went to. It was more based on 'if your face fit' rather then anything else.

Same DC in lead roles in plays, reading poems in assembly, awards of star of the week, these were usually the 'popular kids'
With 'perfect parents', not under Achiever's, and not hard working top of the class.

Funny because halfway through the school my friend signed her DC up to a very good drama club, they did plays and made films one went to a film festival

The DC were fantastic.

But come the Christmas play, the usual suspects were rolled out, stood woodenly on stage speaking their lines like little robots. My friends DC were on the back row not speaking and not really seen.

I think primary schools can be so different, in how they approach this.

Some go with the 'face fits', some just celebrate the achievements of the best. Some actually manage to to get a happy medium of effort and achievement.

It's pot luck which one a primary school is.

There has been some research in the usa on birth dates which I think relates very much to the uk. Children who are born late in the academic year mature both mentally and physically later, therefore (everything else being equal) it is more likely that those whose birthday is earlier in the year will win sport and academic prizes if based solely on performance, the effect of this is that get praise and are even more motivated. Children say born in the last few months of the academic year are not likley to catch up physically until late primary - of course there are exceptions and other factors can have an impact but in general the system favours early birthdays

Drama, sport - if you want your child to win these awards then put the effort in out of school. Sign them up to a drama group or sports club. If that's too much trouble then don't whinge!

You do realise that most Olympians start showing promise at school and work their way through junior competition, under 18s, under 18s, under 20s etc on the learning process to becoming successful seniors. To miss out on this development process to make some children's parents feel better at school is short sighted.

There is a learning opportunity here. Encourage your child to find out what the successful children at sports are doing and copy them, or do more. Are they eating a better diet than your child? Are they training more in their own time than your own child? Are they simply working harder? Is your child more of a long distance runner than a sprinter, or a thrower rather than a jumper?

^^ this with bells on from lesmissabs

-life is a competition- , bloody hell bit late in the day for me to discover this now !

I remember being ridiculously proud of DD when she completed a cross country run at primary school . Not a natural athlete at all , she kept going until the end , lots of other children had dropped out along the way upset because they weren't at the front of the field of runners , but DD just kept going , she finished second to last of those who kept running , but she finished it !

That to me is what we should be teaching our children , sometimes the odds are stacked against you , you might not be the absolute best at what you are attempting , but if you try your best and keep going you will always still be in the race .

It depends:

1 - what categories of awards there are. All traditional "excellence" like academia and sport? What about creative stuff? service to the community? etc. And most importantly - progress. By definition, those who were always talented and excellent are less likely to win these, which is a good thing. there should be prizes for people who have worked hard at something that didn't come naturally and achieved better than they thought they could.

2 - how success is quantified. there need to be fair and transparent metrics

3 - this is CRUCIAL - what the prizes are.

If you have a ceremony where people get up on stage at assembly and get given applause and a token, then yes, go ahead, give all the prizes to the same 6 people if they're the "best". (although rewards for community service and progress might mitigate this effect)

If the prizes, on the other hand, are cultural or educational opportunities, then this approach is UTTERLY ABOMINABLE. opportunities to do something different should, by definition, be offered first to those who aren't succeeding at what is automatically on offer. It's the people who aren't destined, since they were 6, to walk off with 10 A* at GCSE who need to build confidence and see that the world is a wider place full of unexpected opportunities for interesting talents and approaches.

(Full disclosure: so far my very young children show no signs of struggling, thank goodness, and I am not writing this because I am standing up for them and see them as disadvantaged)

I get it op. The gifted kids get recognition and the naughty kids get praise for just turning up to lessons or behaving as they should. Unfortunately it is the kids in the middle being left out and being sent the message they aren't good enough.

My DS very quiet and shy hates pubic speaking and is always a back ground child in plays - he needs to build confidence in this area - yet is never picked - even a one liner -

The loud child is always picked -

Hate these show off the school plays .... It should be an opportunity for the pushy kids to step back and let someone else show they can do it - after all they are only compared to current peers and not to the outside world

I can see both sides I have one very confident child who wins a fair bit and one who doesn't.
It does irk me that my child who isn't confident doesn't get opportunities & is overlooked because she doesn't shove her face in the teacher's all the time and neither do I.
School has a music event tonight & it's basically one or two children doing the majority of the acts, the solos my dc would have liked to audition for but because over confident child's pushy mum pays for extra singing lessons with this teacher, violin lessons, members of several youth choirs & orchestra I can't afford all that & my lovely quiet dd doesn't even get a chance to show she can sing

Yes I think it is the face fitting factor, particularly at primary school. Although my kids were bright, well behaved, high achieving their faces didn't fit. They did something outside school and were joint winners of a national award, in the national papers, on the local BBC news. Suddenly the Head was all over them like a rash, school so proud etc. Made me sick.

Makes me wonder on the ethos at schools - so the children have a certain attitude to them -

So if everyone gets star of the week it's not hard to earn one so doesn't mean much - or if there if one child who wins everything others needn't bother - etc

The "naughty kids gets stickers for expected behaviour so getting sticker isn't seen as a good thing!!

Won not one !!

I never one a single award at school. I ended up with a PhD and a successful career. The biggest factor, IMO, was that my parents never pushed for achievement or results. They only ever said "just do your best". I tried to do the same with my DC and now one's telling me I didn't push them enough

It depends on the school.

DS is G&T. At infant school, he never won anything, was never picked for anything and was discouraged from answering in class. The awards and rewards went to the badly behaved and disruptive or the "star" families.

At his junior private school, he won awards and prizes - too many. The other parents began to peeve so, in later years, he didn't win so much. He didn't seem to mind either way.

Now at senior school, he wins awards again, couldn't care less and usually forgets to tell us about them!

DD summed up the current infant school policy when I congratulated her on being star of the week:
"Oh, Mummy! We all have a turn!!"